Teaching english/french...with uncooperative partner!

[Cassis]

Does anyone have an unhelpful partner when it comes to trying to teach two languages? (I'm english) my husband is french but hardly ever speaks to our daughter in French leaving me to speak both english and rather rusty french to her, which im sure is confusing. i think she understands a bit of french but only answers in english - anyone got any helpful tips?! She goes to French nursery but only twice per week so not sure anythings sinking in.

hi cassis! am french with dh english. my dd mainly speaks english since we live in the uk. am not consistent at speaking french to her - my fault. dd goes full time in nursery and has French tuition once a week. She was the only one who stayed quiet or would answer/participate in English! However - she is almost 2.5 - it all changed when she spent one week at her French grandparents'house with her French cousins. amazing! she speaks a lot of French and almost understand the distinction between the two languages. but I always ask her "how do you say xx in French?" and if she does not know i tell her and she repeats after me. lol because she has such an English accent esp her "r" are hilarious. good luck to you, can't be easy... re your dh, i can understand where he is coming from because I have to make such a conscious effort to speak French to her. kids are sponges, your dd probably registers everything but needs to sort out the languages first for herself and then might just come out one day with perfect sentences in both languages instead of just words? where are you based? try not to worry

Thanks Nanou1 - she isnt 2 quite yet so has only just started speaking so youre right she is probably soaking it all up. Great idea to spend time with the relatives, we are off to France for our hols in a couple of weeks so hopefully that will help. Having been mean about dh, last night he was reading dd french books id got from library which she loved!! long may it last.. Im only trying from an early age as my own dad was foreign & never put in enough effort to teach us kids which I always felt sad about as it would have been a bonus to have had fluency in a 2nd language. Thx for your comments, feel more positive. Based in SE London.

know all about unhelpful dh, have begged, shouted etc. ds is unfortunately "too old" now, 5 y, and gets angry on the few occasions dh does speak to him in his own language

hi cassis! nice to meet you! where about in france? going to brittany for 2 weeks tomorrow and cannot wait . great stuff about dh reading in French. am planning to buy lots of french books for dd as she hardly has any and translating the english ones is just not the same... i want her to read "Martine" and not "Debbie"

madness... such a shame; would be gutted! 2 languages are a gift. maybe it's not too late and you might find your child shows an interest in the language / culture and will ask to learn it!?

you too! Weve got a flat in Cassis in the south - i cant wait either. I'm going to get some french books/cd's too, Auchan (sp?) hypermarket has soo much stuff - dd likes Maisy mouse cd in french- have you got that one? Great clothes in France too! We've got some of the "Julie" range of french books which dd seems to like. Have a great time on your holidays.

Madness - thats such a shame, is 5yrs 'too old'? who says? guess if the interest isnt there.. I met a child the other day whose mother had spoken french to him since he was small, he understood everything but absolutely refused to answer any of her questions in french! Is your husband french? if so, maybe when ds starts to learn it at school he might have renewed interest?

most of the time i speak french to dd and english when in front in people who would not understand french - until dd went on hols to brittany last month, she could not be "bothered" to speak french. or so i thought... now i think it's because their logic will be to use the language /words most people will understand on a daily basis around them.
cassis - have a great time on your hols!

Children are fantastic language learners, its an ability which leaves then scarily quickly (speaking as students on a language degree course who also learns child language aqcuisition!) but simply by having had some input in French from birth your daughter will have the ability to distinguish the different language sounds and to pronounce French correctly in a way that children who learn later may never quite reach. If she is going to french nursery then the level of input she is getting in French, together with what you speak at home will be enough for her. The main problem for most people is getting their children interested in actually speaking the language. If they sense an upset about it or a reluctance from the parents to speak it then it makes them feel its 'different' and they may feel ashamed around friends etc. However, time spent in France, I assume there must be some family there? will help and as she gets older holidays, mixing with French kids in France and so on but the main thing is simply making sure that she is happy and confident in being half French and not ashamed of it.

I was brought up fully bilingual very successfully by a French mum and an English dad. She only spoke French to us and he only spoke English. Bed time stories were great. We had all the Jaime Lire books and we got pomme d'api magazine too which my little cousin now gets and its just as good! Currently expecting my own little one with a fully English dad but we are certainly going to try our best to pass it on.

Oh dear thats rather long isn't it? Sorry!

I am French too and DH is english - and doesn't speak french...-. I found that the magazines Pomme d'Api, Tralalire (from 2yo) & Popi (from about 1yo) really great for my 2 sons. I got to read them sme stories in French and there is somehing new to look forward every month.
When I go back to france (in Laciotat so not far from you Cassis!!), I do the same. I am going to Auchan (Aubagne) and buy lots of books in French. Also have some DVDs and some CD with nursery rythmes.
However, DS1, nearly 3yo is JUST starting to really answering back with some french. His main language is still english and as Indith put it, the most difficult is to make him speak in French. Understandig is not a problem.
Enjoy your holidays!!

I'm Belgian (French mother tongue) and DH is English. When our DS (now just over 2) was born, we agreed that each of us would speak to him in our mother tongues, as this is what we understood caused least confusion in children's minds. However, most of my friends are English-speaking and I've always felt very awkward speaking French to DS in front of them - even if what I say to him is less than fascinating ! ("please put your coat on" etc). The other thing I feel guilty about (well, I'm a mother, aren't I?) is that, after 11 years in the UK, English has really become like a mother tongue to me (people say they forget I'm not British) and I feel much more comfortable speaking English than French - which means that I find it even harder switching to French when I speak to DS. What's made matters worse recently is that DH has had a bit of a confidence crisis and said that he would rather I spoke English to DS all the time when he's around, because he feels left out if I speak French (and his French used to be soooo much better when we met... - don't ask!).

I was getting really worried because - like a lot of bilingual children I suppose - DS wasn't really saying much at all until recently, and the few words he was saying were in English. However, we've just spent a week in Brussels and suddenly DS's French vocabulary has exploded! He's coming up with words I have used weeks ago, which he has obviously stored somewhere. The funny thing is that he has an English accent when he says French words, but from experience (my brother's two children were brought up bilingual French/Italian) that sorts itself out later on. So it's given me heart and I'm determined to speak more French to him. Still can't be bothered to translate all the English books though - and I'm a qualified translator!!

We have the a similar problem. I'm british and dh is indian (urdu speaking) I speak english at home and we live in Germany so outside and in school the kids learnt German. Now they are 7 and 8 yrs old and when watching bollywood films which they love, they say why didn't daddy teach us his language then we could understand, but now it is too late, they would need lessons and have to sit and revise vocab etc and they have too many other things to be learning for school etc so they have probably missed out. Dh just says everyone over there in India and Pakistan and Bangladesh (his 3 countries where he has family) speak english anyway.