Parental anxiety - how to overcome?

[sotiredfornow]

I'm really struggling. DD has been ill for a few days, sickness and bad cough. My anxiety is through the roof. Thank God her dad is such a big help in the evenings and through the night. I worry about everything and I desperately want it to stop.

I'm finding she is ill every 3 or so weeks (I write it down!) and I just can't take it anymore. I regularly think if taking her out of nursery but DH goes mad at that idea.

Has anyone managed to overcome this kind of anxiety? How? I really don't think medication is the answer; I need to learn a way to deal with normal life stresses. The responsibility of being a parent is too much for me!

Hope someone can help.

How old is she, and what form do your anxieties usually take (what are you worried about happening)? Why would taking her out of nursery help?

Make sure you get proper sleep, food and exercise. Find other activities to distract your brain and direct your worry energies elsewhere (eg reading novels, yoga, baking, crafts, whatever you used to like doing with your time before you had DD!). It's really important to make time to do things that you like doing. I'm not very good at relaxing by chatting/drinking tea/watching TV, but I keep anxiety at bay by always having a book on the go, yoga every week and craft projects (which I never really finish or take seriously, but give me something to think about other than worry about my children). They do get lots of little childhood bugs and pick up all sorts at nursery, but once that stage has passed it's done. My children had a terrible time with bugs last winter - I think they caught everything and it was horrendous, but this year (touch wood) their immunity is so much better and they have had hardly anything.

The anxiety you are feeling is normal and healthy. It would be odd if your child was ill and you were not worried about it.

That said you need to control how you react to it. I would suggest you sit down and think about what it is you are worried about. If it is your child dying (can't believe I typed that) you need to consider how likely that is when she has a cold? I would also suggest you think about the steps you could take to prevent her getting a cold (etc) and what that would do to both of your quality of life:

For example if you take her out of nursery (assuming that is where she is picking up the bugs from) what would happen when she goes to school? She will have to build up her immunity at some point (or live inside for ever).

I totally understand how horrible it is - my two year old has a stonking cough at the minute that makes me flinch every time he barks. But I don't want to keep him in all winter as he'll be really bored.

good luck,

kxx