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Original poster

When is it ok to throw in the towel?

14 replies

elliott · 07/08/2006 12:34

Starting another thread as the 'active potty training' thread isn't very active at the moment!

I started with ds2 just over a week ago - he is 2.8 and has been asking for big boy pants for weeks and weeks.
it has not been a great success - he is still doing lots of accidents per day (4 yesterday) although he is also doing lots of wees in the potty and will occasionally initiate going. But he seems to need to wee at least every 45 minutes and making him do a wee doesn't mean he won't have an accident 30 minutes later....
This is really not practical to maintain - can't really trust him to go out for even 10 minutes.
Shall I give up and try again in a few months?

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throckenholt · 07/08/2006 12:49

frequent weeing is par for the course in the early days - not sure it would be any better as far as that goes if you leave it til later.

If you feel it is not working then give it a break, if you think you are making progress then continue - not much help - but really - either answer is the right one depending on how you feel.

albatros · 07/08/2006 13:03

Personnally I would leave it for a few weeks. dd2 was like this when I first tried, I left her for about 3 weeks tried again and she got it straight away.
You could try pull ups so that if he has an accident you dont have to deal with the mess (I didn't do this with dd2 but she was not asking for big girl pants) though I am not sure if this would give out a mixed message that if he wants to use the potty he can and if he doesn't it doesn't matter IYSWIM.
Good luck

Original poster
elliott · 07/08/2006 13:40

I know frequent weeing is normal at the start but THIS frequent? And how long before we get some spacing out?

With ds1 (who I wouldn't set up as a great example of easy potty training by any means!) we had accident free days from the second day, and I knew that if I made him go every hour or so, we'd normally be ok. What I can't really cope with is this level of frequency for a sustained period - I can't really go out while its like this tbh.

Do you think if I waited till he was three it would be easier or would I still have to go through this horrible phase??

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albatros · 07/08/2006 18:19

I have heard boys are harder than girls and I haven't had experience of potty trainning boys so I don't know about the frequency thing. from the little I know there is no magical age and to just keep trying every few weeks until the child is ready (without trying to stress them)
personally I wouldn't leave it until 3 I would try at 2.10 and if they wern't ready then leave it until 3.
I got potty books for my dd's which we read through frequently before I started potty trainning. After I had tried with dd2 and she was not ready I brought another book with stickers in preparation for the second attempt. She responded really well to this, she got a sticker everytime she used her potty and after just 2 days was compleatly trainned 2 days later she was dry at night too. I know I was really lucky with mine as she did it herself but I do think they have to be ready. Good luck

throckenholt · 07/08/2006 20:57

I know frequent weeing is normal at the start but THIS frequent? And how long before we get some spacing out?

ooh yes - very frequent - many times an hour - can't quite remember because it is all a bit of a blur, but I do remember being amazed at how often they managed it.

Spacing out - hmm - think the novelty wears off after a few days or maybe a week or two. And once they have mastered it you get the regression - can't be bothered - phase - hopefully that doesn't last too long

ocd · 07/08/2006 20:59

NO
carry on
this is why its called trianing!!

gingernut · 07/08/2006 21:11

Hello elliott, just to say sorry I didn't contribute to your thread last year when you mentioned my ds in the title, but I only saw it a few weeks ago. Hope your ds1 is getting on better now. Mine is still causing me problems [sigh]. I think he just can't be bothered. Not looking forward to training ds2 (who is now 20 months) at all .

I did find ds1 was capable of wee-ing every half hour or so in the early days, and also of having an accident shortly after going. We did give up for a few weeks and then started again and things were a bit better the second time, but as you know he has never been reliable. I hope he gets the idea soon as he starts school in January!

Hope your ds2 gets the idea soon.

Original poster
elliott · 08/08/2006 09:32

Hi gingernut, my ds1 has been a lot better the last few months but I am fully expecting a relapse when he starts school - there's a definite pattern towards the end of terms, I think it is related to accumulated tiredness.
But yes, my experience with ds1 has made me much more uptight and anxious about 'getting it right' with ds2.

cod, glad you haven't completely abandoned potty training threads! He definitely 'gets' quite a lot of it, and is VERY susceptible to bribery (purple smartie anyone?) but I really can't take him away for the weekend if he is going to wee on someone else's furniture every half hour - so I'm afraid the pullups will be out this weekend unless we have had dramatic improvement.

but I know so many people who smugly say ' oh, I left it very late and it was very easy' that I wonder if I have jumped the gun? Because it certainly ain't easy...

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elliott · 08/08/2006 09:35

Thanks albatros, but I think you were lucky

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elliott · 08/08/2006 09:41

throckenholt, I do get phases when he will put himself on the potty very frequently - but I think this is actually when he can feel he's got a poo on the way. Otherwise he's not very good at going himself and will have frequent accidents - on Saturday he managed three accidents in the space of an hour and a half...
But perhaps I should be focussing on the dozen or so times he performed on the potty...put that way, three accidents isn't so many really

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Tommy · 08/08/2006 10:02

with DS1, I gave up and went back into napies for a few weeks then tried again. With DS2, he seemed to be going backwards and I just kept up with it. (Might have had something to do with summer potty training rather than December )but I was just about to give up with DS2 when suddenly he got it.
We are now 4 weeks without an accident

throckenholt · 08/08/2006 14:12

But perhaps I should be focussing on the dozen or so times he performed on the potty...put that way, three accidents isn't so many really

thats the spirit

ocd · 08/08/2006 14:13

DONT YOU DARE GIVE UP
tis you whos bored twith it not him
now get a grip

gingernut · 11/08/2006 21:31

Hi elliott, how's it going?

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