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Original poster

POO IN PANTS - HELP NEEDED!

10 replies

Helgand · 06/08/2006 14:25

Started potty-training 2 weeks ago with DD1 (2.5yrs). This is 3rd attempt (1st 2 attempts she started, this one we started). Seem to have got wee pretty much sorted, although she never asks for the potty and we have to take her when we spot the signs, but POO IS A DISASTER! Poo in knickers 14 out of 15 days so far and she doesn't care one bit. Really feel we have to persevere as it is so hard with a 10mth baby as well and hubby can only have time off now to help me - will not be another opportunity to do it with support until next Easter so desperate to make some headway with the poo situation especially, but also getting her to ask for the potty ................ PLEASE HELP!

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FrannyandZooey · 06/08/2006 14:27

Leave it. Wait 6 weeks. Try again. Repeat as necessary. If she never asks for the potty, she is not really potty trained, you are potty trained. What's the rush? If you leave it till she is ready you won't need any support or trauma - she can do it herself. I can understand changing 2 lots of nappies is hard work but changing pooey pants is the pits. Just let her get there in her own time and it will be a breeze.

gigglinggoblin · 06/08/2006 14:30

eithr leave it for now and try later or leave her without knickers on and see if that makes a difference. it means not going out for a week but it worked with ds2. they dont mind doing it in knickers so much cos it doesnt feel much different to a nappy

Bajan · 06/08/2006 15:17

Sounds to me like she is not really ready. It is almost better to wait that bit too long than to try and force the issue imho. If they are really ready then it will just kind of happen! Having said that, both my dd and ds were much slower with the poo side of it, and I had to endure a time of washing pants. But they were 'dry' at that point if not 'clean'. With dd it was a case of watching very carefully and spotting her sidling off to hide in a corner, and getting her on the potty pronto, and gradually she began to ask for it. Ds however, was much later (3.1) and was actually worried about doing it on the potty or toilet. So I made use of a big bright sticker chart and LOADs of praise when he got it right. And oddly enough simply talking to him about it - but your dd may not be old enough to take on that sort of thing.
So - don't be in a hurry - they will only be able to do it when their bodies are ready, and fussing about it before then will only make an issue out of it. I understand that it is hard with a young baby too, but sounds like you are making life harder for yourself right now!

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mamado · 06/08/2006 16:01

This all sounds very familiar. We started trying to potty train dd [2.7] about 4 weeks ago following all the advice of the books etc [buying nice knickers, trying to ignore accidents etc, but we've only had about 3 successes so far, all with wee and mostly probably by good timing from us! We have been using 'feel and learn' pulls ups when we go out and she seems to hang on forever until we are on our way out and the pull ups are on, or until there is an inevitable accident. Today she had an accident but then rushed to her potty straight after which is a bit of progress [i think!].

Should we just leave it for a while or perservere and try with no pull-ups during the day? The problem is she needs to be potty trained for nursery starting in Sept.

Sorry to hijack your thread Helgand!

mammyjo · 06/08/2006 16:31

I had the same problem with my ds. He did a poo in his pants most days but was dry otherwise. He knew he needed to go as I would suddenly realise he had gone quiet. He would go off into a corner somewhere to poo but would never tell me.
We got a treat bag for him and filled it with little cheap cars, pencils, books etc and whenever he did the deed on the potty or toilet he got a reward. I know its bribery but it worked a treat and we never looked back!!

Bajan · 06/08/2006 16:48

Mamado - fwiw, I think pull-ups are not that much use. I think they can be confusing. They are sort of like nappies, but also like pants that it is ok to wee etc in. I just feel that they can cloud the issue for the child. I am sure many people must have found them useful, but that is my take on them. Only used them for short period for nights with mine.
AS far as your dd is concerned - it could be she is not ready if you have only had 3 successes in 4 weeks, or that she is worried about using the potty (seeing as she can hang on until the pull-ups are on). Either way I would back off a bit.
Or try the treats/stickers route for using the potty?
Why does she have to be potty trained for Nursery? I guess it depends where you are - here they can't refuse to take a child just because they are not potty trained. Seems unreasonable to insist on it for that age group.

mamado · 07/08/2006 17:37

Thanks for the reply Bajan. I think you are probably right about pull-ups, so think I might give full-time knickers a go this week and if no real success then back off for a couple of weeks.....

WigWamBam · 07/08/2006 17:43

Helgand, when she's really ready you won't need any additional support - it will be much easier and much quicker. But it won't happen until she can start to recognise for herself the signals that mean she needs the toilet.

If she doesn't take herself to the toilet then she's not recognising the signals and isn't trained - you are being trained to run for the potty, and that's not what toilet training is all about. When she recognises that she needs a wee she'll be able to take herself to the potty - you won't have to watch for signals. She really doesn't sound anywhere near ready to me - it's not that she doesn't care that she's pooed her pants, she just doesn't know that she's doing it so she doesn't know that there's anything to care about.

deedledum · 07/08/2006 18:39

I have washed out two poo-y pairs of pants today and am getting quite fed up. My daughter was 2 in may and has been toilet trained for about 3 weeks now, she is doing brilliantly with weeing, always comes to me and tells me when she needs to go, even out and about, but she has never done a poo in the potty and only comes to me when it is sitting in her pants. I have explained, bribed, praised, told off, no idea what to do next.

WigWamBam · 07/08/2006 18:58

Deedlemum, it helps to understand that weeing and pooing are two completely different physical processes, and the fact that she recognises she needs a wee doesn't mean she recognises that she needs a poo. You can explain or shout until you're blue in the face, but if she doesn't recognise the sensations that mean she needs a poo, she won't be able to take herself off to the toilet.

Time and patience is the only way - and plenty of cheap knickers! She's very young to be dry, so she's doing really, really well.

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