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Parenting

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Original poster

6 month old screaming everytime I leave her side

13 replies

TheAuthoress · 12/02/2014 11:50

I'm so fed up. 6 month old dd screams everytime I leave her side, as soon as she realises I'm going the screaming starts. This has been going on for months now and is making me so anxious and dreading having to do things like go to the toilet or start dinner as I know the screaming will begin.

So far I've had to resort to lugging her about the house with me or listening to her scream while I try to go to the loo or make a coffee as fast as possible. She only sleeps for 45 minute naps x 3 so I'm not getting any proper break as I need to wash bottles etc in this time to avoid the screaming when she's awake. I honestly can't wait to get back to work.

Does anyone have any advice how to stop this? I thought when she was sitting up independently it would help as she could play with toys but still the screaming continues.

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Mogz · 12/02/2014 12:36

This is very normal, she's at the developmental age where she notices you leave and gets separation anxiety as she cannot yet comprehend that you will be back.
Try googling separation anxiety for some info on helping her learn that she'll be ok.
Just try reminding yourself it happens because she loves you so much, take a deep breath and have a cuppa.

jetSTAR · 12/02/2014 12:39

Have you tried a sling? You can do quite a lot of things with a baby on your front/back. I went to the loo at the Olympics with my lo on my front!!

Original poster

TheAuthoress · 12/02/2014 13:35

It just feels like its been going on forever!! I have tried a sling but found it very difficult to do anything - I felt like I was pregnant with triplets!

I'll have a google and see if I can figure out some techniques to help her - thanks for the replies!

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TheGreatHunt · 12/02/2014 13:39

Bring her with you and set up little play areas where you can. Eg in the kitchen have a high chair with some bits for her. I remember this stage well! With both of mine I just carried them. I found that them being overtired (with three short naps she might be) made it worse.
Will she nap better if she is near you or when you're out walking? I found getting out kept me sane too!

claremoss · 12/02/2014 13:41

I play 'boo' with my LO, so I leave the room but make sure she can hear me, and say something like 'I am coming to get you!' then reappear and say 'Boo!!'. It works, and I can elongate my visits to the kitchen sometimes by doing this. I have to say I also put the telly on if I have to do something which takes a few minutes, as this distracts her. Or you could put some cushions in the kitchen on the floor, and put her in there with you? It is hard, but it will pass, and it is because she loves you SO MUCH she can't bear to be without you :o))))

purplemurple1 · 12/02/2014 20:45

On the day's mine is like that I just plonk him and a toy (any safe object to hand) on the floor of the room I'm in and carry on with what I'm doing. I also keep talking as I leave the room and while I'm gone so he can hear me.

If he wants full on interaction and I've done quite enough and need a break, laying him on the sofa and sitting at the other end with my legs up so he can't roll off seems to fulfil his need and allows me to eat and drink tea.

We're down to 3 x 45 min naps - I do my best to rest during one and if a bit more needs to be done after bedtime then so be it. I figure people at work all day get breaks for a reason.

BocaDeTrucha · 12/02/2014 22:37

If they don't cry when you leave them somewhere does that mean they don't love you quite as much then? Ds is 4 months and I have left him from day one to get a shower and now he 's just fine. I've even returned to work and he doesn't cry when I'm away from him for 8 hours. Or do some babies just do separation better than others?

Maybe the fact that he was in icu for 5 days immediately post birth and, after the initial cuddle, I couldn't see him until the next morning had something to do with it. He spent the first 5 nights of his life separated from his mummy.

Mogz · 12/02/2014 22:45

Boca not at all, your DS is a little young to have reached this milestone yet so you've probably got it all to come. Plus you must remember all babies are different.

deakymom · 13/02/2014 00:29

13 months still doing it it starts off slow and THEN HE BLOWS!! i ended up taking him to the shower with me the toilet ironing while he is in a sling its tough but it passes (hopefully)

Snufflebabe05 · 13/02/2014 06:42

Snap. DD2 has been like this since about 4 months. She is fairly miserable for most of the day. Doesn't nap well despite me trying a variety of methods.

I have no advice, just know you aren't alone.

Most days I cry with tiredness and 'fed-up-ness'. I don't enjoy a lot of my day and I feel like I am merely surviving.

Original poster

TheAuthoress · 13/02/2014 13:40

Oh snufflebabe, sorry you're going through it too. I feel pretty fed up too so you aren't alone!

I do keep trying to tell myself it's because she loves me so much, which is especially important to me as my ds really favoured my dh for ages and it really hurt me. I'd just like her to love me a little bit quieter heehee!

She is definitely overtired, don't think it's a coincidence that the other posters with the same problem also have bad sleepers. She's great at night so I feel like I shouldn't complain too much but my ds was a much better napper. I can't have her downstairs with me as it's not fair on ds3 to be creeping about, and he normally forgets anyway and then wakens her, leading to even more grumping. She will sleep in the buggy but then is out of sync for naps for the rest of the day so ends up tired and grumpy anyway.

I guess I'll have to resign myself to moving her about with me until she's able to crawl - half looking forward to that and half dreading it!!

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chocolatesolveseverything · 14/02/2014 08:48

I know you've tried a sling, and I know it's difficult to get anything done with a front carry, but have you tried a back carry? My 6m ds goes on my back regularly in the house now and it's been a revelation to finally get chance to dust, wash up, etc without worrying about screams :-)

trilbydoll · 14/02/2014 16:09

It's because they have figured out object permanence, but aren't old enough to know you'll come back. So they know you still exist, but you're not with them, cue panic!

DD got better when she learnt to crawl because she can now either follow me, or find something horribly unsuitable to play with like the router wires. Can you start some hard core crawling training?!

She is also fine if I leave the room when she's not looking, so I throw a toy to the other side of her and leg it while her attention is on the toy.

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