16 month old driving me crazy! lol

[happybebe]

i have 5 week old also and both my children are very 'good' as such...they eat well sleep well, generally happy etc. But lately my 16 month old is getting very angry with me if i give my 5 week old ANY attention. I have been quite tolerant of this and made sure i have lots of one to one time with 16 month old, also try to keep her distracted with DVD's or reading her a book whilst feeding 5 week old, but she is getting more and more demanding and to keep her happy i am finding myself putting my poor 5 week old down in the play pen with her dummy in whilst i amuse her sister! Today though i am now angry, as i know my 5 week old is much more awake now and no longer so happy to just lie there and look at her playgym all morning...she needs more time with me stimulating her. But when i try to involve her in anything 16 month old and i am doing, my 16 month old walks off and starts being naughty, pulling her books out and walking all over them then trying to rip the pages, or pulling the cats tail etc..its getting to the point where i am thinking that be devoting so much time to 16 month old i have made things worse...perhaps i should try distancing myself a little and letting her work through it? would it really harm her and mine relationship if i left her to amuse herself for 15 or so mins so i can have a bit of one on one time with my 5 week old? i take them both to the park every afternoon, so 5 week old can nap and i can play with 16 month for a whole hour by ourselves...but the minute 5 week old wakes, 16 month old turns into nightmare child! i think iam being as fair as i can be if not a little more leaning toward my 16 month old...but now i feel as though i am neglecting 5 week old! any suggestions folks!

you won't be neglecting the 5 week old - at this age they are happy to watch whats going on, and can fit in with everyhting else you do. Have the things that you did with the 16 month old been changed - do you still go to the same groups as before? did she go to nursery?
Don't really know what to suggest but this will give it a bump!

Sorry you are having such a rough time. Unfortunatly, your 16 mth old is getting to that stage where she realises she is a person, not part of you, and that her actions can make you do things, and that things are mine. They all go through this. Made worse by the 5 wk old.

Have you tried putting the 5 wk old in a sling and using that to get the little one her person contact..that will work at the park so 16 mth old gets longer. Also if your 16 mth old can help at all with 5 mth old. e.g. bring the nappies for changing time. Hand you clothes etc. The 5 wk old will get just as much stimulation watching you and DD as just you. So also try putting her in one of those baby chairs. My DS loved this and couldn't get enough of watching me and DD. (though my DD was older, so understood more). And there is the old Praise the good stuff and ignore the bad (though it is hard.....)

great ideas lol all of which i have tried. i get DD1 to help me bath and change DD2, she 'washs' her with cotton wool and puts her nappy in the bin for me. she also attemps to put DD2's dummy in and give her a bottle, i also bought DD1 her own dolly to mother.

when i feed DD2 i read a book to DD1 at the same time, the problem with the sling is DD2 sleeps all the time in the day and then is awake alot through out the night, also if i wear it at the park it restricts me from playing with DD1 so i take the double buggy. i sit DD2 in her bouncy chair and try to include her in any games DD1 and i play by showing her objects etc but DD1 gets stroppy and walks off...its really tough as i feel like i am doing everything to keep DD1 happy but she just wants more and more from me. someone has suggested to me that as i have been giving DD1 a lot more attention that i used to she is now trying to see just how much she can get?

ooh and i do praise the good stuff just maybe not quite as much as i should! bad mummy lol

It must be something to do with the 5 wk mark i swear. DS went through this (I have a 15 month age gap too) I think it was probably because I over compensated slightly for the time which I knew soon he wouldnt have with me iyswim? I think this is probably the point at which they realise the baby isnt going back! lol

5 wk old babies are fine left to thier own devices on a play mat. second babies are especially good at waiting for things! lol doesn't take them long to realise that they might have to be a little more patient than the eldest.

With DS, when I do want to spend time with DD, I tend to sit him down at the table with some crayons and paper (which he ignores) so he can doodle etc or we all go into one room and close the door so he is in view at all times then just leave him to his own devices.

It does get much better. DS is 19 mnths now and DD is 4mnths. DS loves it now that he babbles at her and she babbles back. Like I said, it is the realisation the "mummy isnt all mine anymore"

If you are still sane at this point after being pg for 18month out of the last two years then you are doing well anyway! lol

I think they also realise at this point that the baby isn't going back.

It does get easier now with mine (5 & 2) they play together and I can actually sit down and do something for a few minutes like MN !