Have you ever gone on strike at home?

[Earlybird]

So it's summer holiday, and obviously there's no school. There are many special activities underway/planned for the break, but am finding dd is increasingly ungrateful, rude, stubborn, disrespectful, demanding, willfull, takes things for granted with the expectation of more more more, etc. I pull her up short, but get a cursory "sorry". Once in a while a there's a completely over the top "I love you, you're the best mummy in the world" which is nice to hear, but rings hollow when her behaviour is so abominable.

Yesterday, we went swimming, made a trip to the toystore to buy a few travel toys for next week's holiday, and then had a quick supper out at her request. Today there was a morning with friends, a trip for ice cream after lunch, and an evening sunset BBQ/nature walk with cousins. Tonight as I was helping her get ready for bed, she said "I wish I'd had a babysitter today". Yes, it was late and she was tired, and I know it's button pushing of the highest degree, but I snapped as it was the last straw. It's the first time I've ever put her to bed and left her sobbing when I refused to engage in our normal long chat/cuddle (quick kiss goodnight and hasty exit instead).

I'm coming to the conclusion that I do way too much for her, and it's losing it's value in her eyes. I'm considering going on strike - pulling right back - so she knows how good she's got it. Don't want to be a martyr though. Any suggestions about how to reverse the trend? She's only 5.6, btw, and there's alot of summer left to run....

children the endless vaccum of want and more!

personally I am into manners, please and thank you. Perhaps you might get your dd to understand that "May I have a ...... please " rather than I want this, I want more etc - Will be more appreciated by mummy and will help her learn the value of life and respect.

I saw a book the other day about discipline - it looked abit puritan too me - but I understand their context. Children that don´t learn boundaries often are growing up these days with a moral code that is lacking.

perhaps you should talk to her about the holiday, planned activities and that you would like to share these things with her, but her behaviour is making it less of a likelihood. She is old enough to understand that her actions have consequences.

i booked tickets on internet the other day to go to blackpool tower as a treat saved ££££ but still cost £55
so on the morning of the trip at breakfast i said guess where we are going today? blackpool tower
ds1 said oh mum i dont want to go
ds2 said i've been there a 100 times want to stay at home
dont know why i bother anyway they had a fab time in the end spoilt brats

my dd1 gets a bit like this in the summer holidays, this is the 3rd year she's been a bit rude and horrible, when she's pretty lovely most of the year.

i really wonder if long holidays are a good idea, it's as though she forgets how to be nice.

we find what works is getting firm, reducing the treats, and being intolerant of bad behaviour.

though actually what really works is school starting again.

my dd gets a bit like this (nearly 6). I think she's pushing your buttons a bit - they are so good at knowing what gets a reaction . I do go on strike regularly. I ask them what they would like to do at the start of the holidays - we negotiate which outings I think are suitable and then decide when we will try and do them. On other days (like today), I tell them straight away that I have lots of washing etc. to do and I want them to help me hang out the washing and put away their clothes and then they can occupy themselves (so they've put a story tape on the radio and got themselves a snack).

I think it's important that they have plenty of days where they find something to do themselves as at 5 they're capable of doing that and giving you a break!

We use 'treats' as rewards for good behaviour. So this includes having a friend round to play/for tea, going swimming, bike riding all those sorts of things. IKWYM,it's very difficult in the school hol's, i don't like using t.v or videos as a baby sitter either, so we compromise. First i explain that we need to spend time tidying/cleaning the house then we can do a lucky dip! (put a range of activities like clean the car, bake a cake, library trip, see a friend,(aunt uncle granny) write a postcard, go swimming, cinema etc etc on paper, tear up and get child to pick out when task completed) My DD finds this more exciting! The tidying gets done in a flash!

Well, in some small measure it is reassuring to know that others experience this too and it isn't my child who's particularly horrible or my parenting that's created the situation.

Mayadeine and foxinsocks - good suggestion about talking to her upfront about special things. Perhaps even better to say "if you're good today, tomorrow we can do X" - but often the issue is that X involves other people (so cancelling would let them down), or involves some advance purchase ticket for an activity that is only available on a specific day (so cancelling means losing money). Definitely don't want her to think she can act terribly, and still get to do special things regardless though.

BTW - she is very good at please, thank you etc, but much like the OTT declarations of love when she perhaps fears she's gone too far, these superficial gestures toward manners are not enough in my book unless they are accompanied by a general attitude of civility and kindness.

dmo - I've had experiences just like the one you describe, and it's that sort of taking for granted that's hard to stomach. It's frustrating when they don't appreciate something that should be special - especially when it puts a dent in the family budget!

doris - will think a bit more about how to tie activities into good behaviour. Also think I need to scale down on some of the things we're doing, as perhaps we're doing too many "big" things - maybe need to do more car washing, cake baking, library trips as you describe.