Leaving your baby to cry whilst you do things.

[alice93]

Do you leave your baby to cry in his bed whilst you do things like shower or the washing up? My 5 week old DS will only sleep in my arms or out on a walk. I am quite often spending the day on the sofa with him until DP comes home to save me as I can't bear to let my LO cry whilst I do something else.
Any tips?

Btw I mn on my phone while holding one child abd playing with the other. I'm not sat at a computer ignoring them all day lol

I don't have any tips, but just wanted to add my commiserations. Although I mostly let the housework go, some things just have to get done. I had a sad time yesterday in the kitchen with 12wo DS in the bouncy chair crying while I washed up his bottles. It felt like it took forever with me stopping to try to console him every couple minutes. Reasoning with him that he really should want me to wash his bottles so he could have some milk didn't seem to help much

I didn't do it at 5 weeks 5 months maybe whilst I finished up at chore . Personally not at 5 wks. What if baby had abit of wind they needed help getting up??

Def try a sling, a moby wrap is lovely for little babies. Being couch bound is normal . I think it comes to a shock to us all x

actually, one thing that DH did was ensure that I had some lunch prepared in the fridge before he went to work, so he made a me a sandwich, left snacks and whatnot in an easily accessible spot, and basically did everything - cleaning, cooking, shopping - for at least the first 6 weeks, if not quite a bit longer (it's a bit fuzzy 4 years down the line ).

Swaddle it the best way, makes then feel cuddled when in the Moses basket.

Honestly there is not a problem in letting baby cry whilst you do other brief things. I have two under 2 and sometimes DS2 just has to cry whilst I get DS1 sorted. (There is absolutely no option of bring able to sit on the sofa all day with a toddler!)

Also get a sling, get out the house & enjoy your first - as I say the chance to sit on the sofa and watch boxsets is now. Having a second makes you realise this!!

I would put ds1 in his bouncy chair thingy on the bathroom floor while I showered etc, sometimes he would still cry but I felt better after the shower & I could see he was OK

I might suggest more sleep for baby. Sorry not much help. At that age probably 2hrs Max between sleep/awake I found. Perhaps try transferring to pram so you can push/rock till asleep?
Having said all of that, I sat on the sofa all say every day whilst both my sons slept in my arms till they were at least 6months old. Then ran around madly in between sleeps doing tea or getting good for me. Not housework. That can wait for partner.

Slings are great for clingy little babies - I had a stretchy Caboo which was brilliant while DS2 was tiny. When he outgrew it I sold it on EBay for at least half the original price, so wasn't that expensive in the long run. Also bouncy chair in bathroom / kitchen worked for me.

Enjoy the sofa time if you can - you'll never get the chance to do it again!

With both my two, I used to bring them into the bathroom with me while I showered and lie them on the changing mat on the floor. We had quite a noisy old extractor fan that used to keep them quite calm for a bit and combined with a bit of peekaboo behind the shower screen used to give me enough time for a quick wash! Once they were a bit older - 3 or 4 months I think - I used to pop them in the door bouncer in the bathroom for a few minutes and they were happy as anything while I showered.

For stuff like washing, loading and unloading dishwasher, cooking, as said already, a cradle swing was an absolute life-saver. Really would not have been without it. My DD would be happy in it for ages...and would sometimes fall asleep in it. Occasionally I'd use a sling too.

I also dragged mine around with me. Bouncy chair, changing may, sling. Shower, next to the glass pane, they loved it.

I get really upset when people leave babies alone. So lonely for them.

Sling. (Which do you have now?)

Bouncy chair in bathroom - my baby loved the noise of the shower.

Enjoy the snuggles. The time flies by.

Whilst I don't believe in cry-it-out, etc I can honestly say that my mental health improved massively once I accepted that babies cry, and leaving them to do so for a few minutes every now and again wouldn't do my ds any long - term harm. Previously I felt like any time he cried it meant I was failing as a parent, leading to further anxiety, depression and resentment. I'm prepared to be flamed if need be, but I think a contented and calm mummy is very important for a baby, and if you need to put the baby down once a day to have a shower in order to feel like that, then do it.

Oh, and a tip foodwise, I hand ds over to dh for a while every week and do a load of batch cooking. My freezer is now jam-packed with meals to be heated up which is really helpful.

I think when they are older it is okay to leave them crying a little during nap if they haven't slept enough (and u can get things done). For example 3/4 months. My son slept only 30 mins this morning before waking and clearly still tired and CRANKY. I fed him more changed his diaper, tried to burp him etc and he wa still fussing and clearly tired. So I tried to help him sleep w patting, dummy, shushing etc. after 15 mins decided to let him cry a bit and get a shower. After my shower, (about ten mins). I didn't hear anything. I went to check on him and he sound asleep :-)

I wouldn't leave them crying too long...but 10-20 mind during nap time to see if they will go back to sleep (after u have tried everything. And they still tired) is okay. Sometimes they r too young for this and won't go back to sleep. I say try it from 12 weeks and if it doesn't work, wait a couple weeks before trying again etc.

It's not for everyone. I didn't do it for my first until she was 5 months and by then she was old enough to settle fast (2 mins to five mins max).

First baby - wouldn't have let her cry for a second. When ds arrived two years later realised I no longer had that option. I think distinguishing between a grizzle and full- blown cry is key. As other have said - fed changed, cuddled it is fine to leave them for a few minutes while you go to loo, get dressed, attend to other child ( if you have one). This does not equate to ignoring them for hours on end, but I did find that magically, with a short pause, ds would settle himself. Result was a much calmer baby, much easier, but of course by this stage I had dd to care for as well! Wish I'd dared to do it with her. I think chocolatesolveseverything is spot on - calm mummy leads to calm baby.

Have you read this?

www.bigcitymoms.com/blog/archive/2014/01/new-mamas-get-nothing-done-and-other-untruths.html

Enjoy your baby. The chores will wait. But do eat!

Second the sling library. Apart from everything else you'll meet some good people.

Second the sling library. Apart from everything else you'll meet some good people, and they might even be able to help you fit the one you've got.

I also never left my DD to cry, and do feel it has paid off (6 months later she is a happy and confident baby). Get a sling If you can, but also do stop worrying: any day now baby will start to be able to focus better. That's the start of them being happier to sit in a bouncy chair/lie on a blanket and watch while you get on with washing/cooking etc. by that time too you will have mastered the art of peeing while holding baby, and discovered an exciting array (ok, not an array) of single handed foods. If you live in a cosmopolitan area, I recommend Japanese Miso soup paste. It's supposed to be really nutritious, is really cheap (I think £3 got me enough paste to make about 30 servings and it seems to last forever in the fridge) and you just add hot water. That and toast. And a healthy filling breakfast. Then batch cook and freeze on the days your DP can help look after baby. But mainly, stop worrying - it will get easier any day now

but how do you think our ancestors managed when they didn't have mod cons and had to do onerous chores and wash terries etc.

I do remember sitting on the couch alot when babies were little but you still have to get things done. Whatever works for you.

I must admit I used to get more stressed and frustrated if I couldn't get things done so it was a trade off for some crying but never for long.

sling library near you

Some will also do postal loans and getting one that suits you will be great.

Have a 11 week old that I've had to leave to cry while tending to my two year old, it's just the way it is. More often than not she will stop crying in that time, simply can't tend to both at the same time and having baby in sling is impractical especially as she is really putting on weight now. I do everything in house and in own some evenings, it's a case of if things need doing I just get on with it and deal with baby best I can.

yes I only used baby front sling once and it made me feel uncomfortable, probably doesn't do your posture or back any good.

you have to do what you can which suits you.