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Parenting

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Original poster

New born, is bit normal for me to have episodes of feeling tearful??

22 replies

blondebaby111 · 04/02/2014 10:34

I have a 3 week old baby who is a dream come true, we tried for a long time to conceive her but sometimes when she cries (and this past week she's been quite demanding of me) I just feel a bit helpless and tearful. Then my dh comes home and she's good as gold. I feel I get all the good bits and bad bits and he gets all the lovely gurgles and no bad bits, sometimes it's just a bit overwhelming.

I'm so aware of pnd i dread this happening to me so I guess I just need reassurance that it's normal to have some tears, once I've had a little cry and walk away for a few minutes I'm absolutely fine. I found myself having a little cry this morning as I said goodbye to dh which of course I'm sure he now thinks I'm not coping when he isn't around. All I got was I'm gonna to call your mum and see if she can have baby today which I point blank refused. I'm coping fine I'm just having a few wobbles now and again....someone hold my hand!! xx

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LooeyLou · 04/02/2014 10:37

Perfectly normal, my ds is 8 weeks old and I have been like this on and off! Also did the crying when my dh left for work, it gets better, your doing fine

LooeyLou · 04/02/2014 10:38

Dh also thought it odd but just felt very vulnerable without him!

TarkaTheOtter · 04/02/2014 10:39

Normal IMO. Still lots of hormones and starting to come to terms with an overwhelming life change. If you are generally feeling happy/ok with things then I wouldn't worry.

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RebeccaJames · 04/02/2014 10:41

Normal. it's a total roller coaster. My DS2 is 8 weeks and I'm still the same.

Squigglypig · 04/02/2014 10:44

God I cried at the drop of a hat after I had my DD and so did most of m mummy friends. It is an overwhelming and life-changing experience. So I think it's perfectly normal.

I think I properly stopped feeling crazy by about 3 or 4 months in, when I'd established a routine with her. But I have my moments even now (she's 3 yrs)!

Take it easy on yourself.

dannyboyle · 04/02/2014 10:46

Very very normal. You are only three weeks post birth. Hormones are up and down and you are getting used to have a lovely new baby. I remember well getting tearful quite a lot (at least several times a day for various reasons, think it was partly the oh my god i am now reaponaible for this baby), and I have lovely memories now of having my new baby (only a year ago!). It goes so fast and sounds like you are doing just fine! What you are experiencing is completely normal, and to be honest the last thing you probably need at the moment is someone taking the baby off you (although help with house work and time for a nap/shower was always useful!). Look after yourself and enjoy!

PinkandPoo · 04/02/2014 11:00

Normal I think. I also have a 3 week old and cry nearly every time I change his nappy (he has bad nappy rash).

17leftfeet · 04/02/2014 11:04

Perfectly normal combination of tiredness, hormones and realisation that your life has changed

I used to think nowEP got all the good bits and then evening colic kicked in which made him more appreciative of how hard things were for me and he gave me more support which helped -he went back to work after 3 days both times (back in the day that's all the paternity leave he got) and I would regularly cry when the baby did

Lozzapops · 04/02/2014 11:47

So normal! I was a wreck for the first couple of weeks, and can now barely even remember those times, as I was such an emotional zombie! My daughter is now 15 weeks and is a very demanding baby. I still have days where I get a bit teary about feeling so helpless, but the gorgeous smiles and gurgles more than make up for it!

Congrats by the way!!

WillSingForCake · 04/02/2014 11:53

Oh yes, definitely. I used to cry every day - most of the time I couldn't have told you why I was crying, it just happened! DD is 2 now, and I always say I've never cried so much as I did the first couple of months of her life, but have never laughed so much as I do now! It gets so so so much better, hang on in there!!

VenusDeWillendorf · 04/02/2014 11:58

Christ yes! Absolutely natural.
I never cried as much as when I had a newborn. I often wondered why they didn't have a box of tissues free with maternity pads.

I considered it the by product of fluid retention during the last few weeks of pregnancy, when my feet swelled up in the heat. The water has to come out somewhere.

Btw congratulations, and also don't beat yourself up about your babe being "as good as gold" for your DH. These terms only serve to make you feel inadequate.

Repeat after me. I am a good enough mummy, I am competent, my babe is healthy and happy.

And repeat. Don't think of your little babe as being good or bad. That's a rod to beat yourself (and her) up with, and aren't you busy enough?

CluelessNewbie1 · 04/02/2014 11:59

Completely normal in my experience. It is bloody hard work and you sound like your doing really well. It will pass. My DD is now 8 months and I am over the tearful bit and now want to throw her out the window when she wakes me up in the middle of the night again!

Original poster

blondebaby111 · 04/02/2014 14:47

I'm glad I'm not the only one, after posting this morning I've had a great day dd1 is behaving, not much screaming going on and generally feel ok, the sun is shining too which is a bonus xx

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HelenHen · 04/02/2014 14:52

Lol, is it normal? Well I hope so cos I was a walking lunatic! I had it from about 6 months of pregnancy so you're lucky you only have it now! Some days dh would come in from work and I'd be sobbing so he'd have to take over straight away! I cried when he left for work too! It gradually gets better but I don't know if you ever really go back to normal! I'm 7 months pg with dc2 and it's happened the odd time already!

Do keep an eye on it though and if you feel like you're really not coping, mention it to doc or health visitor. Mention it to them anyway, that's what they're there for!

Congrats btw and take it easy on yourself. Your body's been through a lot!

Elderberri · 04/02/2014 14:53

I still crying....I have TTD....traumatic teen depression.

When you have a baby someone turns a tap on in your eyes, sometimes it shuts off, but not for long.

Yeah, normal.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 04/02/2014 14:55

Holy crap, it's THE most normal thing in the world. I'm disappointed no one discussed this with you before you gave birth!

Tiredemma · 04/02/2014 14:56

Very normal.

four days post birth I found myself sobbing uncontrollably at poor fat craigs predicament in Corrie when Karl was terrorising him.

My kids thought i had gone mad.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 04/02/2014 14:58

Things that would me cry:

TV
Advertisements in the paper
Foods, just certain foods that I didn't want to eat
DH just not getting it even though I wasn't sure what "it" was
The cats
Shoes being hard to tie
things that were good
things that were bad
things that were sad (which is understandable I guess)

Seriously

Trying to conceive for a long time give you a lot of pressure for everything to be perfect, it's not perfect. Babies aren't perfect. They are lovely but imperfect.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 04/02/2014 15:00

If you are still feeling like this in a couple monthe it can't hurt to talk to your HV, but don't stress about htis on top of the lack of sleep and baby crying!

Tailtwister · 04/02/2014 15:08

From personal experience I would say it's normal. It's a while ago now, but lots of things would set me off and I felt like that for a good long while, not just the very early days.

It's hormones, lack of sleep, the enormity of it all...

PenelopePipPop · 04/02/2014 15:10

'Babies aren't perfect. They are lovely but imperfect.'

This.

Also the first few weeks are unimaginably hard. If you had started a new job with really really long shifts, doing something you'd never done before, having just had massive physical changes to your body possibly even surgery, and your DH was starting the same job at the same time so wasn't always sure how to support you - yeah you'd want to cry a lot. But you wouldn't think your reaction was abnormal you'd think, 'I'll adjust to this, it will get easier, when I get the chance I need to take a rest' etc.

So you (and your baby and your DH) will adjust to this. It will get easier. And whenever you can just rest.

Hotmad · 04/02/2014 18:06

My baby is 9 weeks and in the beginning weeks I cried a lot over things I can't even remember now, I think the shock of a new baby and tiredness and the fact your hormones are all over the shop, all have a part to play. I was so worried about PND but you know what? Don't worry? It's so normal to feel emotional and you will have good and bad days. Motherhood was nothing like I expected but 2 months
Down the line we are more confident and less tired as she sleeps better but most of all, I'm not too hard on myself. You will be fine and your doing a great job!!! Cuddle that baby and have a cry whenever you want, also talk to ur hubby.

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