My son doesn't talk to me

[mytimewillcome]

I have split up with my husband and my 3 and a half year old has been taking it quite badly. I have had a lot of my time taken up with my younger son who is 22 months and I suppose he has taken up all my attention. It seems to me that my older son thinks that his father has been hard done by (even though I spilt with him to protect the children). It has come to my attention after overhearing conversations between him and his father that my older son just doesn't talk to me. I heard him talking to his dad about his feelings about his dad leaving he said something like I don't like it when someone in my family leaves and I was very surprised because he never speaks to me about things. If I ask him what he has done with his father or what his father said to him or even what he did during the day at nursery he just doesn't answer.

Should I be worried? I want him to share his feelings with me and it upsets me to think that he feels that he can't. Am I reading too much into the situation as he is only 3 and a half?

what are you doing when you ask him about his feelings?

if its sitting down and coming straight out with it, i can understand him not wanting to talk - how about getting the colouring out or making something together, not just to get him to spill his emotions, but to spend quality time with you.

as long as he knows he's loved op, he'll open up in his own time

Sorry you are going through this.

I find the car is a good place to ask questions. My DS has often talked in the car about things he hasn't really mentioned elsewhere. Think it is less confrontational etc.

I think a lot of small children don't talk about what happens at nursery or school, especially if asked direct questions
Mum: What did you do today?
Child: Nothing/I don't know/shrug.

If you ask very specific question you might be able to start a conversation
Mum: Did you play with the dinosaurs today?
Child: Yes
Mum: Which is your favourite? etc.

I don't think a 3yo will be thinking that they can't share their feelings with you. However, he needs to be taught how to talk about feelings (just like al the other skills they are learning at this stage) and you can do a lot to help. Try watching this video by Parentchannel.tv for some ideas.

Thanks that's great advice. I'll have a look at the videos.