I'm scared... don't feel I can cope right now...

[utterlyconfused]

I am 6 weeks through our 8 week holiday and feel that it's not been all that horrific. But this week is bad. Dh is away, ds's and dd are just fighting all the time (7, 6, 4), it's raining, and the biggest thing is ds2, about whom I have posted at least twice. He is a real problem and I can't deal with him. He is foul to his siblings and to our dogs and I am screaming so much at them all. I have nowhere to turn. I rang my mum to see if we could go there for a couple of days (they are 3 hours away) and while she was delighted my dad called back to say they have friends staying and he didn't feel they could have 5 adults, 5 dogs and 3 children all staying at the same time. Fair enough. I really don't disagree. But I have no support. I called my babysitter to see if she could give me a hand for a couple of hours this evening but she couldn't. I'm supposed to be going to a house near my inlaws tomorrow, but have discovered that they are away until Sunday.

I am scared that I am going to lose it completely with one of my children. They winge and whine, they talk at me when I'm on the phone or trying to write something down, they mess around with their food... I NEED SOME SPACE and I can't even leave the room because the little one will do something horrific.

Where do I turn? I need some support and I just don't know how I am going to get it.

can you get out for the day? take them to the pool and wear them out?

What, so they can fight there instead?

Poor you, you sound at the end of your tether. Can you take them out somewhere, anywhere, get them in some waterproofs and get out to the park or something, see if they can work off some of their energy. Alternatively can you take them somewhere i.e museum. Where are you, can any of your friends take one or more of the kids for a little while to give you some space?

Not sure how useful my suggestions are, but didn't want you to think no one was listening.

err.. I was just trying to help

sometimes kids go a bit stir crazy stuck inside all day

Sorry, didn't mean it to sound like that. They're not really stuck inside all day. We have lots of space here and they get out a lot. But they fight. They fight in the car (or rather he baits) and they fight wherever we are.

I think every mother has been where you are now! I know I have.... I now plan my days in the holidays as this gives us something to look forward to and stops each day being the same.... I call up friends that I haven't seen for a while and meet in different parks for a picnic..
can you not don on your wellies and take the dogs for a walk... feed the ducks... wash the car.. does your local council have any activities for the kids.. I know these things don't take long but they do break up the day...
chin up... [hugs]

Ok
deep breaths.

Who is there that can help you and when can they help? When could you go to your parents?

Sit down tonight when they are in bed and draw up a strategy for tomorrow of what will happen.
Eg, breakfast, watch a dvd, lunch, out to the park, watch a bit more tv if needs be, tea, bath and bed.
When they get up, tell the this is what will be happening.
Give them something to work to like a treat at the ned of the week for example a trip to the baths or something you know they would like.

I really feel for you. I'm going through a tough time atm with just one child so I'm sure 3 isnt easy.

I hope you get some help.

the fighting... yes I know about fighting.. we had all out war here this morning because dd left some toothpaste in the sink! you'd have thought it was shit the way DS carried on... looking for helpful tips here myself

can you farm the older two out for a few hours at one of their friends?

when is dh back? mine is back tomorrow and I must admit, I do feel a huge sense of relief tonight!

can you use bribery - as in you get x if you can manage 2 hours without arguing/fighting, make it a small reward, and then gradually increase the time.

And take them out somewhere else - even for an hour or two - at least for that time they should be distracted and have less time for fighting.

(Sympathy - I have 3 boys 5 and 3.5 twins, who spend most ofthe day climbing all over each other and whining that x took their toy).

Seperate them if poss. I have four and spend my life sorting out arguements. I don't think people with one or two get it. It's the "he did this," etc etc and I really don't care who started it!! Mine are too old to be doing it anyway (16, 13, 11 and 7) but they still do. Seperate rooms until good behaviour if possible. Mine are ungrateful buggers too-take them to the park, you're having a laugh Two minutes and they're bored etc. I didn't want to go anyway but tried to do the good mummy thing. Try planning two/three activities in different places. Chalking on the floor, playdough (god that's scary!) cutting and sticking (keep scissors away from the evilest one). Swap them round every ten minutes and give stickers for the quietest. Get a DVD and do the whole cinema thing. Popcorn (equal amounts) and a drink. Any bad behaviour means time out with you, no film. HTH