Contact with father

[Splash08]

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or experience on court orders. My ex has a court order to see his son every three weeks in Nottingham. I've now moved to London and was happy to keep the contact order by using the train but he wasn't happy so for the last right months he's not seen him as per contact order. Out son is 13 and willing to take the train but the ex is stipulating that his son is not travelling alone. I've taken the train 5 times with our son to make sure he's comfortable with it as we agreed but now the ex is saying I have to take the journey for years to come. I don't know where I stand on this or if he can enforce the court order after 8 months of not sticking to it. Can anyone help?!

He can not demand that you do the journey too.

He is demanding it so it inconveniences you.

It also sounds an excuse not to see your son

The most you would be 'ordered' to do is half, so one way of the journey with ex doing the other way or every other time both ways.

In reality, if he wants to see his son the onus is on him to make it happen.

It's unfortunate that you moved but you can't put your life on hold to make life convenient for him, so if he wants to spend time with his child he has to make the effort at least half the time, he can't expect you to bear the full cost and inconvenience.

Thanks guys. He's saying I'm criminally responsible if I let our son take the train alone. Even though I've done the journey several times with him and he's happy to travel alone if he's put on the train and met at other end. Surely I'm not criminally responsible? My son travels to school on buses here in London as do all his friends. He's 13 and very responsible.

Thanks for replying. He's saying right now that he will collect him but I'm to pick him up on the train. Initially he had agreed that after a few trips then our son could travel alone. But now he's changed his mind. I know if I don't pick him up then he will keep hold of him and refuse to let him come home.

Are there any changes at all or is it literally get on at one end and off at the other?

If you can get access to the platform without a ticket it would help to make sure he gets on the right train.

At 13, unless he lives a very sheltered life, he is probably more than capable of being waved off at one end and welcomed at the other without anything untoward happening in between. Your ex is being a drama queen.

It's direct straight to Nottingham. I spoke to the British Transport Police who have said I would not be criminally responsible and that as his mother I'm well within my rights to decide if my son is capable of doing a familiar direct train route by himself.

He's now reverting back to the original order and saying I have to meet him at some services that were stipulated in the original court order. Which would be impossible from here! Unless I subject my son to a four hour car journey! I won't do that to him. Besides which my ex assaulted me at our last meeting at those services so I really don't want to have to meet him in person anywhere if I can help it.

Did you report him for assaulting you at the last meeting? Was this witnessed by your son?

It was witnessed by our son and I did report him, my son volunteered to make an initial statement, which he did poor thing but my ex denied it all saying it was my fault my hand got stuck in his car door and it was an accident, even though there were photos of the damage he did. I was told I'd have to go to court and my son would be questioned, also that his father could risk losing his job if convicted. I had to back down as it wasn't fair on my son being put in the position of speaking out against his dad. It was distressing for him but it's all still on file.

This man sounds like a bully. If he doesn't want your son travelling alone he'll have to come and get him himself