thought nursery were great but...

[duzzlightyearsmum]

So I loved my DS nursery the staff are lovely and he seems happy. But today we have taken his folder home to review before he changes room and I've just looked through and his 'report' is worrying me slightly! They highlight what he can do on the EYFS but there are massive gaps in my opinion! There are loads of things I am fully aware DS can do and does constantly that have not been highlighted. For instance DS is potty trained fully day and now night but his report does not highlight the bit about asking to use the potty or toilet :/ it also misses out things to do with his communication and making relationships. I don't want to be 'that mum' but DS has always been advanced and health visitors have told me he has the communication of a 3 year old (he will be 2 in 3 weeks) and this has constantly been reinforced by others and the fact he never stops talking but his nursery report does not reflect this even slightly. Confused!!!! Should I say something?! Or am I being silly and it doesn't matter?! I'm just worried now that either he's not very happy there and so isn't behaving like normal or that they aren't paying enough attention to him to know him very well?!?!

TIA xxx

Peace obviously... Baby brain!

Jess it doesn't mean they don't know about it. He might not have asked when he was being assessed or they might just be more concerned with looking after & playing with the under twos than ticking boxes about who uses a potty and who doesn't - or whether they have a predominant hand. I don't know how old your dd was when you moved her, but the current thinking is not to encourage them to be LH or RH so it doesn't matter if they notice or not, it's kind of better not to even notice then you can't subconsciously sway them. Better reports don't mean it's a better nursery.

I can see your point, but I had to go with my gut instinct, it isn't just a question of reports, we feel they do know her better and she's happy there.

Jess of course you did and everyone should. What I am saying is that they hadn't necessarily 'missed' your DD's left handedness or the OP's DS's potty ability. They might not have seen it when they were doing the assessment OR they just don't think all that box ticking is very important. Changing nursery when you like it, the staff seem good and your child likes going there is OTT. I am sure, if you thought about it, there were other things that made you unhappy, rather than one single report.

You want the fact that your child is potty trained fully documented in a nursery report???

You know he is, they haven't taken it away from either of you by failing to pay adequate homage to the fact...
Sorry to sound patronising, but; is he your first?

What professor skully said. At my DS Nursery he has a "focus day" if he doesn't do something off his chosen topic on that particular day then it wouldn't get documented

The main thing is that he is happy there and you are happy with him being there, if you have any concerns just give them a call to arrange a meeting

But more importantly ........ How on earth have you managed to get him dry at night

Could be they didn't even look at the section on potties for kids under 2 - my dd is about to be 2 and there's no point ptty traning her until then as the baby room at nursery doesn't have potties - at 2 she's in the next room which does (she's there sometimes already when ratios permit).

I figure nursery staff generally aren't great with paperwork, so go talk to them. If they seem to know your child when chatting to you, chill out and ignore the paper. If they have no idea about your child and pottying, find out why and what is going on. In my 5 years of using a nursery, the assessments are done in one afternoon of observation to complete the paperwork, so focus on what the kids did in that session only - talking to the staff is much more productive.

i agree to go with your gut, to me although it is important that paperwork is done people who are good with children aren´t nescesarily great administrators (and vice versa . . .) so as long as when you speak to them you recognise what they say about your dc that is enough

Do they seem to know him well and as an individual when you speak to them?

Interestingly we moved DD to a smaller, more personal nursery and don't see any tick boxes any more - it is all narrative that shows how well they know DD. Whether they do any of the tick boxes elsewhere, I don't know.

I can see both sides to this. I had the same with my DD who was very advanced with language and there were huge gaps in the EYFS records. There was definitely a little bit of pfb going on, but also definitely an element of laziness on the part of the nursery, as there was no way they were not observing it (she did it in front of them when I was around so I know they saw it, and the staff and other parents commented on it constantly). I think the problem was that while the staff were lovely and great with the children, they were not really motivated to go out of their way to record every day to day observation. This was partly time related, but not always as there were many occasions at the end of the day when they had all the children in the garden (mostly entertaining themselves) when they had time (if they had chosen to) to write up notes etc.

It really irritated me that the records were not reflective of how DD actually was, especially as I was paying over £1200 per month for her to attend, but I loved the nursery (well until she hit the pre-school age then it became very clear that they were lacking in proper structure and I moved her to a school nursery - but that's a different issue) so I basically just ignored it as I realised that it made no difference to her, she could do what she could do regardless of what was written down. The only time it really caused me any level of concern was when she transferred to the other nursery as they asked for the EYFS records to be passed on so they could understand more about her development, and I worried a bit that she would not be pushed as much as I felt she needed, but the new teacher assured me that while they did read it, they very quickly made their own observations anyway.

It's very easy to get caught up in all this when you have a little one of that age, but believe me OP your child will be at school before you know it and you will realise how utterly irrelevant these EYFS records are. I agree that your gut feel for how the nursery is and your child's happiness are much better guides of quality of care than a few observations being marked off.

Don't be so thrilled about the advanced communication skills. It's pretty depressing when a verbal 2 year old finds they can't make friends with children the same age and spend all their time gravitating towards adults. Then by the time they start school, their social skills are abysmal no matter how hard you and the nursery tried, and your kid is desperate for friends, but the other kids find their conversation weird and don't want to know.

None of my sons 'advanced' traits were mentioned in his reports because it's not what they're for. They're to state if a certain level has been achieved - it has, now move on. It's not to embellish a child's strengths. The nursery and I took a step back from reading/writing/counting ('advanced') in an effort to bolster his social skill and interactions with other children. Progress was not good.

He's now under evaluation for Asperger's.

So, yeah. Don't be so keen to big up being 'advanced'. It's really not all it's cracked up to be. I'd rather have a happy child than an 'advanced' one.