How do I cope with a terrible 2's and a new born when i'm not getting much sleep?

[jersey]

Hi, I need suggestions on coping with a new born and a boy going through the terrible 2's with some jealousy on very little sleep. I feel as though it is a constant battle with DS as he doesn't like me feeding DS2 and picks that time to do stuff he knows he shouldn't as I can't stop him then.

Verbal telling off is ignored! He is just 2 and is pushing me to the edge every day. I take him to the park, etc. each day now I can walk again to run off steam but that only works for so long and I get trantrums when its time to leave.

He is getting worse at sleeping as well, not going to sleep easily and waking and coming into us during the night, being very ratty in the mornings.

Help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jersey, am in exactly the same boat...there is exactly 2 years between DS1 and DS2, DS1 is 2 yrs 5mths and DS2 5mths.
I can honestly say that it has now got MUCH easier (and has been gradually so for a while).
Tips that helped me cope:

Trying to get DS1 involved in changing/feeding etc, bathing them together (have you a bath support for DS2?).
CBeebies and DVD's/Videos for DS1..
When DS2 was 3mths old we potty trained DS1 and that perversely seemed to help as he was then getting a lot of attention and he really grew in confidence and matured as a result, but I did make sure DH was home for first few days.

Now that DS2 smiles at DS1 and laughs, DS1 seems more interested as he is getting something back.

I can totally empathise as know that it is hard, but truly it won't last for long and in a few weeks you will notice it getting easier and easier. We still have our moments but I feel that I have now reached a point where I am enjoying motherhood again.

Best of luck

TV and don't feel guilty. I had to resort when ds2 was born and it would have to be the easiest solution. Also get your toddler to help you, they love being involved and like the resonsibility you give them. There is 20 months difference with my ds and it gets much easier don't worry. Good luck.

Sorry, had a think and also wanted to add that I find it really helps to do something with DS1 when DS2 is asleep...like playdough/painting/stickers etc..just time devoted to him. As soon as DS2 was able to I also put him in his Bumbo and he could watch us play. I like to read to them both as well.
Now DS2 likes to sit in his nest and watch DS1 play and I have a bit more time to get on.
Please don't worry about things like housework etc and only do bare minimum (although all that bloody laundryis a nightmare!!)...no-one is expecting superwoman when you have two young children!

Hi thanks for your suggestions. DS will only watch thomas the tank engine in the morning whilst he eats his breakfast, anything else gets a few minutes then he gets bored. I try to involve him with DS2 but have to be careful as he is a bit bull in a china shop!! DH is off next week so hopefully that will give a bit of a break, but then starts a new job meaning an earlier start and later time getting home. I tried to get DH to do bath and bed last night as we are supposed to take it turns at night so we can get jobs done, but neither of them got a bath and DS1 went to sleep on DH's knee in front of the TV ! Trying to get DS1 into a better routine but the only way seems to be if I do it as DH is more interested in having his own time on an evening!!!!

Re the family, etc. That is another problem, mine are all 100 miles away and we don't have room for them to stay now. DH's family are local but MIL who helped last time is in hospital very ill and FIL has enough on his plate, SIL's work and have 3 and 2 kids themselves (the 2 being 10 month old twins) so I think they have enough to do themselves. Friends have offered but they all work fulltime so not alot they can do,

Have you tried Homestart?

I think the stories on their website are offputting because they involve people with 12 children and major bereavements or whatever... at least one friend of mine tried them for this early stage.

What is homestart?