Is ds really too old for his playmat/gym??

[FlyAwayToMalibu]

My mother is always commenting on how I treat my children too young - she says 5 month old ds is too old for his playmat/gym, 2 yo shouldn't drink her water out of a hello kitty sports bottle canister (only when we're out so it doesn't spill), I should have weaned ds a month ago, breastfeeding is for newborns, 2 yo toys are too young (aquadoodle, play kitchen, crayons etc).

I mean WTF? I think I'm very age appropriate - we're potty training toddler, no bottles, we all do baby and toddler groups,take them to the park/days out, toddler does a couple days at nursery while I'm on mat leave.

What's wrong if they play with some toys? Or the baby is still breastfed?

She even commented that toddler shouldn't be napping anymore as its for babies - she does 1-3pm and sleeps at night. Also apparently I should be wearing baby out in the day do he sleeps better at night.

Does it sound to you like I'm treating them too young for their age?

Breathe, smile, nod, ignore.

What you are doing sounds spot on to me! Ignore ignore ignore.

The breastfeesing and weaning comments are plain ridiculous. As are the rest of them for that matter!!

My ds is 2.9....plays with similar toys....isnt potty trsined yet and I try and try every day to gwt him to have a nap.

If baby is happy on the playmat then leave it! I woupd have loved ds to still be content with tjat at 5 months. Unfortunatley he figured out how to roll at 11.5 weeks and never stopped. Grrrrr.

I know you're right, she's always criticising!

Ds hasn't rolled all the way over only on his sode but is sitting up unaided so not too worried, she seems to think my "babying" them will hinder their development! Dd sat unaided at 4.5 months and walked at 9.5 months.

So what if I put him on his mat while I cook dinner or go to the toilet. What else can you really do with a 5 mo? Sing some songs and tummy time. He's too young imo for proper toys other than those lamaze ones which he has - am I supposed to be doing something else with him?

You are doing everything right to me! I have a 4.5 month old, not going to wean yet, still in gym etc.

Do you have a health visitor you could say 'oh I thought that too mum but the nurse says if you wean too young .. Xyz can happen'. Latest research says.

I say to mine that 30years old advice is out of date !!

I only do tummy time, play CDs or sing to him, baby gym, walks in pram.

What else can you do other than cuddle them of course! But that's it.

My almost 8 month old still plays in his playgym (he's not rolling or moving yet, in fact he still topples over if left sitting too long!). He loves sitting up at his gym or lying down, and my 4 year old seems to have developed a new interest in baby toys now DS2 is here - I'm hardly going to take them off him.

Some people say smile, nod and carry on, I say nip it in the bud now and tell her they're your kids, you'll do it your way and if you want her advice you'll ask (if she doesn't hear you asking, it's because you don't want the advice...) because if her comments are bugging you now and you let it go on, she'll continue to piss you off and one day she'll say something quite innocuous and you'll go postal :-) (or maybe that's just me... :-D

Exactly thank you. She thinks hv and new advice is wrong and bm doesn't "fill him up" as its too "watery".He's on the 91st centile for length and 80th for weight!

Also any time they get ill it's my fault. Apparently playgroups are silly and dirty places abd I should keep them indoors unless necessary until spring. I swear this is what she says. It makes me feel so guilty when they catch a cold like it's my fault.

She is criticising for a reason...what's she like otherwise? Did she criticise pre-grandchildren?
If so, you may have to accept you can't change the toxic behaviour, but you can change how you let it make you feel. Her insecurity or jealousy of your obvious parenting capabilities is her problem, not yours.
Try and just watch her like an experiment...it may amuse you!
Stay strong - you are doing brill!

my 2yo is still breastfed and uses her playgym mat as a picnic rug for her toys

and we are no where near potty training...

my poor child... oh wait.. she is 2yo, she is a baby

you mum seems nuts

tell her advice moves on with the ages and what she is saying might have been trye 50 years ago

That all sounds right to me... As PP have said, ignore - although I would possibly get grumpy with her about the breast feeding comments.

My mum seems to think that breast feeding is for snobs because she never did it!

She was always critical but much more so since I've had children. She always reminds me how difficult it's going to be for me when I have to return to work FT with 2 small children.

She's never helped or babysat abd we've always psid for childcare/babysitters so it's not like we've asked for her input.

I've dealt with it by distancing myself but then she'll make cutting remarks and I'm unsure if it's me.

Yes pregnant ! She's the same we were ff and me breastfeeding brings out a horrible side to her. Apparently its snobby and for hippies at the same time and ff is the only proper way to feed.

Tell her to do one.

I'd be tempted to remind her that, however small they may be, babies and children are people and as all people are different, she can't expect your experiences, and following that your actions, to be the same as she was.
It's ludicrous of her to assume that you don't know your children best of all and that you're not acting in their best interests.
Failing that, as nervousgulp said, smile, nod, ignore.
Trust your instincts mama, it sounds like you're doing a great job xx

Well I only bf for six weeks did I think you are brilliant to still do it and your baby is thriving!

Don't let your mum spoil things, this is a very important time in your life and you don't need it.

I also get out and about most days, children are always learning and social skills are the best thing you can help them with so maybe you do need to talk to her. He much do you see her? Can you reduce this and keep busy? It sounds like you see her a lot.

I did see her alot but now not so much, I've tried distancing myself as I'm fed up of always having to justify my parenting choices.

she also says things like my kids aren't "mine" they belong to the world. As true as this may be in terms of they're not my possessions, they are my children nonetheless. I'm their mum and I'm responsible for them.

She's always undermining me.

Thank you for listening everyone.

That's hard going all the time. Yes keep in contact but definitely space out the visits so she's not criticising all the time. Is not fair.

I would be vague when telling her things about your choices. Say to her that your children are of course yours. Keep correcting her. It sounds very sad tht she is being like that.

No! My DD is nearly 6 months and I only just got her the FP rainforest play gym as she loves playing with it at other friends houses. She'll probably only get another month or two out of it so I got it pre-loved. She's definitely not too old for it, she loves it! When they can't yet crawl there's not much else they can do but lie on their back and play with toys?

I understand your pain, I have a critical, undermining mother too. It's so annoying and makes you feel this small (tiny).

We stopped using the play gym at 4mo with both of mine as they both rolled early and would get frustrated crashing into it.

Everything you're doing sounds age appropriate.

Well done on the BFing :)