sexual predator

[aquarius16]

i am 15 years old, soon turning 16 and i have an issue with my uncle. we all know what intuition means, and i feel strange and slighly uncomfortable when he hugs me. he hugs longer than i think he should,and lingers his fingers on my back afterwards. am i paranoid??? i have a counselor for some personal problems and i told her about it. she told me that im not wrong and that when anything feels wrong to anyone it usually is. but i dont want to accuse him because he hasn't done anything more than that , and smiling and staring at me in a weird, kinda creepy. yet i never have any feeling like this with any other person.(even i trust my mom's boyfriend more than my uncle and i don't like him that much). anyways when i hear my uncles name being mentioned i feel uneasy. am i misjudging? i looked on websites to observe body language or signs but im unsatified with the imformation. i know this is "by parents FOR parents", but i figured i rather get a response from a parent than random kids. you guys are probably wondering "why don't you ask your parents?" well... my mom has a tendency to not be worried about those types of things. i feel like a movie character who found out her stepdad is a murderer or something and my mom doesn't believe me. i know its out of proportion, im honestly scared when im alone with him. i'm having self-doubt that im just overexaggerating ! look at this i typed this huge paragraph about my uncle hugging in a unusually affectionate way...sighs well thats all i have to say. please be honest i truly want to know that im not loosing my mind over something little. thank you.:/

Aquarius - good for you to ask for help, I'm sure you will find some on here
Personally I agree that if it feels wrong it usually is wrong. Go with your instincts, I often ignore them then in the end it turns out I was right!
Try to avoid being alone with your uncle and avoid contact with him.
Do you have to see him often? When are you left alone together?

Hi Aquarius, I had an uncle like yours when I was your age, he did the same kind of things, he was way too touchy feely etc. One evening when I was staying at my aunt and uncle's for a holiday, we were watching TV together and he started kissing me and touching me. I pushed him away and he begged me not to tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone until years later, when I told my mum who was shocked and upset that I didn't tell her at the time. I avoided being alone with him after that.

All that to tell you that, yes, trust your instincts, and maybe do tell your mum or another trusted adult that he does make you feel uncomfortable. Is there any way you could avoid the hugs? Perhaps, every time he comes in for a hug, you could tell him that you don't feel very huggy at the moment. How often do you have to see him?

I really feel for you, it's horrible to be in that position, where if you say something you might be accused to make a fuss for nothing, but if you say nothing you have to endure the unwanted contact.

However, it's your body and it's for you to decide who gets to touch it, no matter what the other person's intentions are.

I hope you manage to fend off his creepy hugs. Good luck! :)

you guys are probably wondering "why don't you ask your parents?" well... my mom has a tendency to not be worried about those types of things.

When you say those type of things, do you mean this type of thing has happened before?

I'm glad you posted on here and didn't just speak to friends about it. You feel the way you do about your uncle for a reason. Best case scenario is that he's well-meaning but has an unfortunate manner of coming across a little creepy. Worst case scenario is that he isn't well intentioned and is actually creepy. I don't think you should feel bad or in the wrong for thinking this way about him. It isn't as if you have actually accused him of being a paedophile. I would tell your mum that he makes you feel uneasy and uncomfortable and you don't want to ever be in a scenario where you are left alone with him. I would hope that even if your mum thinks you are being ridiculous (although I really hope that isn't the case) she must at least accept that that is how you feel, and she should comply with that request. You're not asking anything unreasonable, and any girl who feels uncomfortable with a man should never be put in that situation. Do you have any little sisters? Worth bearing in mind that if you don't want to be left alone with him, any sisters shouldn't be put in that situation either. I do encourage you to tell your mum though. You shouldn't ever be afraid of what your mum will think or say - we signed up to motherhood, and that involves having to deal with whatever situations you get yourselves into or any problems or issues you may have. We may not always like what you have to tell us but that doesn't matter, you have the right to expect that we will listen when you have something to tell us and try to respond to it appropriately. I hope that when my daughter is 15/16 that she will tell me if she feels uncomfortable in a similar situation to the one you have described. All the best x