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Original poster

when do toddlers start to entertain themselves?

21 replies

shelley85 · 31/07/2006 22:13

hi my dd is 18 months and it seems she is attached to my hip 24/7. She seems unable to entertain herself at all and if she wants to play with something she grabs my hand to go with her. Shes not at all shy but im a sahm so shes with me all the time, i rarely leave her with other people so is it a case of that shes with me too much or is this normal? I love her to bits but its driving me up the wall!

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jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 31/07/2006 22:14

jess is 2 and will play on her own for a little bit but likes the reassurance of me being there.

I dont think they will completely entertain themselves until a lot older.

Alipiggie · 31/07/2006 22:16

Do you go to a mum and toddler group. This helped my ds1 socialise and he started loving every minute of it. It is hard though, because before that he was very clingy. Even a soft play centre would help her get used to doing things on her own as the play areas / ball pits always look so enticing. Have you tried setting out a range of toys on the floor and saying mummy's going to be busy for a minute just wait here keep re-affirming you're coming back and see what happens. It will get better

Nemo1977 · 31/07/2006 22:16

completely depends on the child. DS has been able to entertain himself a lot from around 12mths old..however I can see DD being one of those children who makes me do everything..just hoping ds will help her a little

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brimfull · 31/07/2006 22:21

ds has been able to entertain himself for a decent length of time since he was around 3.I make sure I praise him for being" such a big boy and playing so nicely!" when he does it.
He still prefers me to join in but understands now that I can't play all thr time.He has less understanding when daddy comes home though .

Original poster
shelley85 · 31/07/2006 22:28

i have tried putting out loads of toys on the floor and i will cahnge them every now and then through out the day but all she does is bring them to me to play too. hopefully its just a phase as its a nightmare trying to cook dinner as shes always right behind me, ive even tried giving her pots and pans and wooden spoons to play with at the kitchen door so she doesn't get burnt but she still wants me to sit with her.

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handlemecarefully · 31/07/2006 22:30

Agree it depends upon the child - ds (2.3) is inordinately better at entertaining himself than his older sister (4.0)

GeorginaA · 31/07/2006 22:48

Yep - my 2 year old is streets ahead at entertaining himself compared to his 5 year old brother (although ds1 is finally getting better at playing with K'nex or Lego for a time upstairs)

Judd · 31/07/2006 23:05

My two (4.5 and 2) won't do spontaneous self entertainment at all. I have to set it all up, provide the storyline (if appropriate) and then gradually retreat, telling them that I am going into the kitchen to wash up, they are NOT to fight and I will be back in 5 minutes. There is then a running commentary of what they are doing which they expect a response to! DD (the 4.5 one) will also play upstairs for a little while, having "Big Girl Time" but she demands me to go up with her first to set out stuff and haul our CD player into her room so she can listen to The Gruffalo! If she does half an hour, I am very pleased

soapbox · 31/07/2006 23:11

I think you are being very unrealistic if you are expecting an 18mo to entertain themselves

I'm afraid you have a long period yet to go before she stops dragging you over to play with her every 2 minutes.

And yes, it was a rather frustrating phase (but it only lasted a year or two)

girrafey · 01/08/2006 15:23

Have to agree with nemo. my dd 15 months has entertained herself from 11 months. if i am in the room, she will bring the toys and books etc up to me. but if i go upstairs, or in the kitchen she will happily play by herself for a good half n hour. I have been known when i was really ill to creep back down the stairs and see that she was playing nicely so i just sat there reading a book for 35 mins until she saw me!!
the lounge and playroom are completely safe and i am never out or earshot and most of the time can see her even if she cant see me etc, so i have always left her to make a cuppa, fonecall, toilet etc so she has never known any different.

Pomi · 01/08/2006 15:48

It depends on a child. dss 2.7 and 1.8 are much better in entertaining themselves than my friend's dd who is 3.2.

Original poster
shelley85 · 01/08/2006 17:21

the thing is if i move she cries and follows me

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GeorginaA · 01/08/2006 17:30

Let her follow you while you get on with other stuff? E.g. do a bit of dusting and give her her own duster to play with. If/when she gets bored she'll go find something else to play (don't worry, she'll soon learn to wander off and create havoc in another room - then you'll be panicked when it all goes quiet )

GeorginaA · 01/08/2006 17:31

(and I find Cbeebies invaluable for getting on with dinner )

hovely · 03/08/2006 00:29

answer to OP;
when they become totally and silently engrossed in something you really, really don't want them to do.
eg feeding toilet rolls into the toilet
drawing on walls
pouring food out of different packets onto kitchen floor and mixing it
turning on taps and squirting the water up the walls
painting your bed with your lipstick
etc

Ponka · 03/08/2006 00:53

DS 2.2 yrs goes off to play on his own occasionally but not for very long. I think it depends on the child, definately. He started off playing on his own with me on the sofa watching and talking to him but not physically right there. I think they just slowly develop the skill. I noticed a bit of a difference after he had started playgroup.

To get things done I involve him. I do admit everything takes longer that way! He does the washing up on a chair alongside me. Helps me hang the washing out. Has his own brush when I brush the floor. When I cook, he does pretend cooking with some packets and an old pan.

He plays for longer when I'm in the same room as him.

Like you, I do wish I had more space sometimes but most of the time I remind myself that it won't be long before he's pushing me away so I should just enjoy the cuddles while I can!

jambot · 03/08/2006 09:23

My DD (16 months) is very independant. She's quite happy to play on her own for half an hour. Loves to sit reading her books or playing with her soft toys and blocks. Suppose I'm just lucky. She went through a brief clingy stage but now she'll happily be out of my sight in her playroom.

jambot · 03/08/2006 09:23

independent!!

yeahinaminute · 03/08/2006 10:30

Around about 18 - 20 IMHE !!
DSS is 18 and went thru' an "independant" phase when he was about 15 - 16 !!

DD is 3.5 and yes still needs me to be whatever it is her imagination say's we should be at any given moment ( this week I have been shopkeeper/baby/bear/butterfly/horse/trampoline/doctor/and one memorable moment as the mummy having a baby while she was the doctor and gave me a C section

Ah well only another 13 years before she gives me some time out!! then if like brother back to all over me !!

blueshoes · 03/08/2006 12:01

Dd 2.10 never plays by herself. She always has to have me/dh in the room with her, engaged in her play. Only in the last month or so, we noticed she was noticeably easier in that she would play with her toys for short periods without adult input - so long as one of us stayed in the room - but at least we could read the paper or mn or tidy around her. If we left the room, she might (not always) tolerate being alone in the room for maybe 1 minute before she came looking.

BTW, dd goes to fulltime nursery - I am told she is great at finding her own entertainment there! Go figure.

Shelly, it's hard work when your child can't entertain herself at home. Sympathies. It will come with time.

Original poster
shelley85 · 04/08/2006 13:07

thanks all i had started to think it was just me, my nan keeps saying i'm spoiling her

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