Constant cuddling required!!

[PinkParsnips]

My DD is 9 weeks old and sleeps through every night from 10 - 7 or 8 with the help of white noise. It needs to be on all night or she'll wake up instantly.

We feel really lucky that she sleeps through but daytimes are such a struggle for me as she doesn't nap at all, which is fine but if she's not sleeping she wants constant cuddles and if she's not getting them she's screaming blue murder. All.the.time.

She won't even lay next to me on the sofa or sit 1ft in front of me on her bouncer / mat / swing / moses even if I'm paying her attention by rocking it, shushing etc. I love cuddles but its really exhausting when DH is at work, I cant do a thing!! And when I really do need to do something eg making bottles the second her bum touches her chair she screams blue murder - real purple faced, making herself cough and splutter crying, even if I've put her 30cm away from me in the kitchen in her chair!!

She hates the sling and baby carrier I've bought and screams blue murder in those too as she hates being restricted in moving (swaddling gives her the real rage!)

Any tips on getting her out of the 24/7 need for cuddles or to nap more?? (white noise doesn't work in the day strangely!)

I know this stage will pass but I thought she would be a little better by now. Help!

Actually just to say, my op is a little misleading, in that she will nap during the day but only if being cuddled (this is after a lot of opening one eye to check you're still there!!) But even when in a deep sleep, the second you try to put her down her eyes ping open and she's screaming again.

9 weeks ago she was cosy in your tummy, why would she want to be separate from you? Have you read about the 4th trimester?

You might want to look up silent reflux. My DD had it, they are usually awesome night sleepers but during the day they want to be on you.

I know, you're absolutely right about being in my tummy I agree. I had in my head that would pass after the initial newborn stage but maybe I need to remind myself she's still only tiny! Its just so exhausting not being able to go to the loo or eat a sandwich without her getting so upset. I haven't heard of the 4th trimester, i'll look that up thanks.

She is on gaviscon for reflux, I didn't know that about sleeping.

What type of sling do you have and how long/often have you tried her in it? My ds took a bit of time to feel comfy in a sling. I realised in the end that he didn't like being in the foetal position in my Moby wrap and much preferred being frog-legged which gave him more freedom.

Ah the Velcro baby...! I've had 2, so you have my sympathies. At least she sleeps, mine didn't/don't.

My advice would be to firstly realise and accept this isn't anything you have caused or can do anything about. She isn't doing anything wrong either. Some babies just need cuddling, a lot.

Something you could try is slowly separating, so loosen the cuddle slowly over days and get to the stage where she's just held in front of you rather than cuddled up. Then next to you, then you edge away. Always going back a step to comfort if she's not happy.

Persist with the sling. Just 5 mins at a time in the house to start with.

Try a vibrating chair.

Try warming the Moses basket before you put her down.

Try white noise in the day too?

I'm afraid to say both mine have been clingy til they could crawl. Always wanting carrying etc. DS particularly would scream the moment I tried to put him down. I spent far far too long trying to "fix" it. DS is now 3.5 and a lovely, confident boy, and fortunately still cuddly! Dd is just crawling and is developing some real independence.

Dd at 9m is just starting to nap longer than 20mins.

I know how wearing it is. I know how hard it is to go to the loo with a baby in the sling so they don't scream the whole time. It will get easier. You will forget how hard it was so much so you do it again and have to manage a clingy baby and determined toddler (wouldn't have it any other way )

I still have one of these.
She's 3. Years, not months.

Sorry, posted too fast.
Moby wrap. Saved me.
She is a twin so DT1 would go in a buggy and she'd be carried. She still prefers being carried, she hangs on to me a bit like a koala.

Thanks everyone!

I'll keep trying with the baby carrier thing, it's a bushbaby cacoon. I think once she's old enough to go in it front facing she might like it more. The sling we have is just a cheapo one to see if she liked it but she's a big baby and I don't feel like she's secure in it, I'll have a look at those moby ones thanks.

The white noise doesn't seem to be as effective during the day and I'm a bit worried about overusing it and it becoming not as effective at night!

Good idea about reducing the cuddles gradually. The other funny thing about her is you cant just cuddle her in a normal way ... she'll fuss, wriggle and cry until she's found the position she likes, never the same twice but usually involving her face wedged in your armpit or some other weird position so even when you pick her up you've then 10 mins of fuss every time to get comfy! weirdly if guests come she'll let them pick her up and fall straight asleep in their arms for hours!! She's a funny little onion!!

See if any friends have a close carrier. Softer for baby and more snuggly.

Facing outwards in sling isn't good for their spine either. See slingguide.co.UK for more info and advice on slings.

Your Velcro baby is lucky to sleep through night. Mine neither did til 2yrs! She walked at 10mths though so the clingness doesn't last forever and then you miss it!

Fourth trimester mentioned earlier...
babycalmblog.com/2012/07/06/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-is-only-happy-in-your-arms-30/

I found changing the way I thought and reading lots of stuff like baby calm saved my sanity. This Dd is our fourth DC and she definitely redefined how we parented

Thanks oadcb I'll have a look at those links I didn't know that outward facing could damage their spine.

Well dh tied a black and white toy to the toybar of her swing as we read young babies like b&w toys, she's just sat on her own watching it for 20 mins and has fallen asleep in the swing!! I'm sat here with a cuppa trying to get over the shock! Lets hope this is a little bit of progress?!