when to try for 2nd child??

[mum2benicole]

I have a child thats 5months old but we would love to have 2 childeren. I have endo and have been told to get familly out the way before I go for more surgery. I would loventhem to be colse so that they can play together ect but when is the best time I dont want to be silly and have them to close any suggestions??

DS is 2 next week and we are thinking of having another soon I think having 2 under 2 would have been too hard DS doesn't sleep well it would have been a nightmare with 2 babies up all night. I think a big age gap is hard as well though my niece who I have with me half the week was 5 when DS was born and it was so hard going back to the baby bit she had just got to the age where we could sit and watch a movie, go to the cinema and park / soft play without needing to stand over her and bring a million things then all of a sudden we were back to it.

I'm aiming for 3 year age gap so DS is a little more independent and will be going to nursery so I will still have some time with a little one. Every age gap has it's advantages and draw backs you just need to decide what you can live with and what you can't.

There is two years between mine

DS1 will be 20 months when DS2 arrives next month. It just seemed like a good idea once DS1 was nearly one

my dd1 was 5.5 when dd2 was born - I must say it's been VERY hard going back to the baby stage again....I'd/I've forgotten everything (especially the bad/hard bits which the brain seems to wipe out :). However, I'm SO grateful that dd1 can do pretty much everything for herself and is at school so I have some quality time just with dd2. I always knew I wouldn't be able to cope with 2 very small ones at home all the time which is why I didn't do it. As lola88 says, each age difference has its advantages and drawbacks. Sounds basic, but maybe write up a list of them and see what the outcome is?

I'm asking myself the same question at the moment. DC1 is 15 months. We definitely want more but at the moment I don't feel ready. She's a crap sleeper and it's the wrong time with my work. Basically I'd rather wait until DC1 is 2 before we ttc again but I wonder if maybe there is an ideal age gap and it is smaller than three years... Plus if there are any issues with ttc then it's impossible to say how long it would take! Argh, I just don't know.
Most unhelpful post ever- sorry!

26 months between mine. 1st 6 months were rocky. Now it's all very cute x

Watching with interest as we would like about an 2yr gap mainly due to childcare costs (dd is only 9 weeks so thinking well ahead!)but I have pcos and it took 18mth to conceive dd so like you I have the dilemma of when to start trying, anticipating problems but there may be none!
Sorry not a very helpful post really was it!

I have 22 months between my first two. It was really hard for the first 6 months or so, but now that they're nearly 3 and nearly 5 I'm glad I had a smallish gap. They play together, like the same activities and are (mostly) the best of friends.

In fact, I thought that age gap was so good that I did again between DD and DS2. 3 under 4 possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, but again it's worth it in the long run.

I have 24 months between mine and its a really nice age gap. The first bit will always be tough when they are close together. A newborn and a just turned 2 yrs toddler are a handful and you can't turn your back for a second. Fast forward 9-12 months and they'll probably be best friends. My two are 22 months and almost 4yrs now and play together so nicely.

My SIL has 18 months between hers and is coping fine.

My friend at work has 8 months between hers- possibly a little too close!

I got pregnant when my dd1 was 6 months, they are now 2y8m and 16months and best little friends, I also think it's easier as they both have the same routine and share a bedroom. I love this gap so much I'll hopefully have the same gap between dc3 and dc4 when the older two go to school/nursery.

We have 14 month gap and its fine. We have only just hit proper toddler tantrum phase with eldest. Thankfully youngest has started weaning and can play on his play gym and jumperoo so have more time for dc1. Eldest adores her brother no jealousy issues so far, which would probably be case if we introduced a needy newborn now.

Thanks ladys you have helped alot I think we will wait till 2 months before her 1st bday as the gap would be perfect hehe
all the best to all x

Hey everyone

My lo is 3 months old and already wanting to ttc! Wise or silly???

The closer they are in age, the sooner they start playing together. I know people who wish they'd had them even closer together, tough though it is to start with. Very much depends on how much sleep you're getting. We have 27 months between our two, but if they'd been the other way round, it would have been a lot longer!

There is an 18 month age gap betweeen DS and DD and they are good friends. I think a large reason why is because we have encourage that since before DD was born. DS was very involved in everything and I think that has helped make them close more so than the closeness of their ages.
It was the perfect gap for us personally, physically, mentally, financially etc. though obviously everyone is different.