"Mummy's not nice"

[SuperDuperTrooper]

I'm feeling really sad right now. Just at the dinner table I was asking my just 2 year old about what he does at his childminders. He is there in the afternoons. I asked questions like "do you have fun?", "Is she nice and fun?" Etc all of which he said yes to. He then said "mummy's not nice" twice whilst shaking his head. :(

The trouble is I haven't been having a great week as I've been suffering with insomnia which has made me very irritable and snappy. I know I haven't been nice to him at times as I've been quite short fused but to hear him say that has made me feel physically sick. :(

Please don't be sad - it's impossible to know what your little one really meant - but chances are they were just thinking about the different things you do to what the child minder does - and you'd maybe re enforced that all theses things are nice - and as you do different things with him he maybe made the connection that you are not nice - but meaning you do different stuff .
Have a few extra cuddles together if you can - it's great for both of you !!! Calms and gives you happy hormones !!!

:-) hope that helps a little !

If it makes you feel any better, my 2 1/2 yr old is on a "don't like" phase. "Don't like Mummy", as he was clinging to my legs ta nursery drop off. He's even been known to say daft things like "don't like cake", we thinks its more a "at the moment I don't want" or " I'd not keen on what your doing right now" sort of comment without the vocab to get the whole meaning accoss.

Try not to get upset, most 2 year olds live in the moment and have no concept of time or the fact that for the last week you've been a bit grumpy.

If you feel you have been a bit grumpy though I'd tell him, say you're sorry if you've been a bit grumpy this week but you've been really tired and tomorrow you're going to try really hard not to be grumpy and have a nice happy day. Although the chances are he's already forgotten he's said that to you, so I wouldn't go beating yourself up with a stick unnecessarily. Try not to take his comments to heart - that way madness lies!

Totally different kettle of fish, but I have a 4 year old who frequently goes into strops (I reckon the teenage years seem to have hit early...) and says, he 'doesn't like me' or that I'm not his friend. He understands what he's doing and is trying to lash out as he's upset. I let it wash over me, as soon as he's calm (minutes later) he apologises and gets upset for saying that to me.

Honestly don't take it personally. They have limited vocabulary. My 3 year old said the other day I don't like you I want daddy. Oh god says I daddy will be Here later. Cue sailing and but I don't like daddy. Your Ds was probably thinking about the good things the childminder does and St is a good thing.
I also have a 10 year old dd who has hit puberty and regularly get I hate you. My answer is usually good I'm doing my job right then.

I had it too, after I had to restrain DS for a haircut Take it on the chin - if you were really horrible all the time, he wouldn't say it because it wouldn't register with him as 'out of the ordinary'.

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a little bit better about it having read your comments.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day where I found myself telling him "no" all morning and snapping at him. I even sat crying in front of him whilst we had lunch together in a coffee shop. Not good but I felt so rough after a week of not sleeping properly. On our way to the childminders I did give him a big hug and told him mummy was sorry for shouting and crying and that mummy was happy now and gave him a big smile. I am trying to be a nice mummy but the tiredness is driving me a bit mad. I guess I'm so sensitive and feeling guilty about the fact that I've been bad company this week that I've taken his comment completely to heart.

Oh, love. It sounds as if you're having a really rough time.

As others have said, I'm sure it hasn't had as much of an impact on your DS as you fear. I think you've done the right thing in acknowledging your behaviour to him, naming the feelings and apologising when you feel you've fallen short - all important skills for children to learn! I really don't think there's any harm at all in children learning that sometimes grownups feel a bit sad and cross, just like they do, and it's ok to feel that way, but afterwards we say sorry and kiss and make up etc etc.

Last week, my ds told me that I was the worst mummy he had ever had - this was because I had failed to realise that he wanted porridge for breakfast after he had asked for toast.

Sorry you have been feeling crap about what your ds said. There is probably a totally innocent explanation for why he said it. As his mother, you are about the most important person in the world to him, so don't go getting jealous of the childminder - it is her job to be fun and she doesn't have to deal with teeth and bedtime routines etc, she just gets all the good bits!