Lost all what being mum is all about now, how do i get it back?

[Dunnyjo]

Will get straight to the point. I have ds1 who is 2.6 and a baby who is 10wks old. Before ds2 was born ds1 was our little baby and as much as sometimes he could be a little terror he was/ still is a sweet little boy. However since ds2arrived he has got worse. He is lovely most of the time towards him but i do get the break outs when he tries to attck him doing silly things like hovering over him making silly noises, trying to swipe him as he walks past (poor ds2 is swinging so fast in his swing chair)
So every morning i wake up i am almost immediatley annoyed with him. I just need to look at him and feel stressed out, when all he has done is say 'HELLO MUMMY!' The rest of the day just gets worse and a wait for the day to be over. He now goes to MIL for a few hours on mondays, and wednesdays which gives me a lovely break to be with little one. But i am so sad our relationship is not the same anymore and i miss it. When i do try and make time for just us my paitience is not there and i get fed up. He is like a hurricane, into and over everything its exauhsting!
Has anyone else gone through this? i look at the future and feel sad because everything looks so daunting and stressfull! help

p.s also he is using the toilet now but sometimes its more work than anything and i even get annoyed with him about it!

Poor you, it must be really hard work at the moment.

One idea to reclaim your mummy mojo - find a really cute photo of ds1 and stick it to a bit of paper and under it write all the things you love about him then bung it on the fridge so you can see it when you're feeling irritated.

absolutley been there. yoru first instint is to protect your baby. his is - to get your attention.

you need to keep him occupied let him help out - tell him " oh your such a big help"

give him a painting roller and some soap suds in a bowl - ask him to paint the garden fence - whilst you sit there - or the gate - with regular - "oh thank you, how could i ever manage without you"

this is what i did - kept him industrious and chest brimming with pride. please can you pass me the wipes, nappies, bottle from fridge, oh thank you! "right i'm going into kitchen to do xyz please can you look after baby - you have to keep him safe ok?

please can you fetch the post, please can you wash the pots - ok so you'll have to do it again later?! so!?

lets go to park. can you fetch me warmest pair of socks? what clour do YOU think is best? giggle giggle shall we put this hat on giggle giggle he looks silly giggle giggle.

mine is 16 and the love of my universe.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! I have ds 2.6 and dd 11 months and was really struggling for the first 6/7 months until she slept through, was eating three meals a day and bf less. I found ds an irritation and felt he was just in the way of my caring for dd who I bonded with strongly from the start. Ds is also a human dynamo and extremely loving and affectionate but also very demanding at times so I know how you feel. We now have our relationship back when at times I thought we never would. Hang in there it will be ok, try your best with him in the meantime but it will get easier after a few months.

thanks liath, thats a good idea. its a shame beacuse right now ds2 is in bed and he is watching telly at the mo, so its all very nice at the moment lol i'd give it 5 min though.....

Don't feel so down it will take a while for adjustment for ALL of you. I've a 4.11, 1.11 and a 5mth old all boys and yes I felt like I would'nt cope but I do and they are all lovin towards each other but they do have their off days but don't we all?? Get out and about as much as you can tire the toddler out and perhaps he will be calmer and more chilled while in the house, you have 1:1 with baby, what about toddler?

thanks for replies, i feel relieved its not just me (begining to think i become this monster who could not smile anymore!) Like the ideas on making his chest brimming with pride! i have not really alwyas let him help me cause i got annoyed. grit my teeth i suppose! lol

i try to have 1:1 with him but i find my self irritated to spend time with him i was thinking of leaving baby with MIL for an hour or so and go to the park with ds1. But sureley i should be able to cope with it on my own without someone else helping. I want to find a way of being able to enjoy time spent with both at the same time

It's not a matter of bein able to cope alone! if you have support use them! tryin to do alone will not be go for any of you. its just a littlke space for all of you while you adjust and be more so for toddler he might want a little time away from baby as sometimes adults do. keep smilin

been there too......
3-4 months all will be back to normal

Yes agreed NotAnOtter!!

There is light at end of tunnel, you wont feel this way forever.

Is you toddler due to start pre-school or anything soon? That will help behave differently to others.

yeah in december he will be going to pre school.
bless him, been thinking long and hard, he must be finding this all so completely horrid. To be the no.1 now there is this little human that gets loads of attention and no matter what he does its wrong well i know it wont change instanly but i see it differently now

Well if you think of it not only is he having to share but since baby he's been told off so he'll relate that to baby as the cause. I know it's harder to see in black and white but he's just not old enough yet to realise why their bein treated differently. In childs terms mommy doesnt like me as much as baby. reason for behavoiur to baby? Sorry it sounds awful, but I know how you must be feelin