Hi everyone,
I would be grateful for any advice/support people have on my thread, if possible...
Basically, our only daughter is nine and a half, and is what you would class as a 'tomboy' - her best friend is a boy the same age, and she likes nothing better than getting filthy (she has recently joined the school football team so I am waiting for even MORE mud....) She loves climbing, scootering and being active, although she hates discos and anything to do with pop music. She likes her hair in a short bob, although she would happily leave the house in the morning without even putting a brush through it.
As she is getting older and more conscious of her likes and dislikes, she has got more 'boyish' in her choice of clothes (much to my mother's horror.) She would rather do two hours of fractions than wear skirts or dresses, and now is happy in jeans or jogging bottoms. In the last year or so, she has started preferring clothes in the boys' section of clothes shops, and this is where my husband and I think we are doing the right thing but my mum does not agree - If she prefers an item in a 'boys' colour or style and would be more comfortable in that than something more girly, we think it's okay. My mum seems to think that by not sticking to 'girls' clothes' we are going to confuse or disturb her in some way. (My brother is gay, and my cousin is transgender and currently undergoing treatment to change from female to male, so I think that these things are on her mind somewhere too.) She also worries about DD being teased for being different, and although this DOES happen sometimes, she is still happier feeling comfortable in her own skin and being teased occasionally than she would be wearing 'girly' clothes and not feeling comfortable.
She does often look very androgenous - her class had a supply teacher this week who mistook her for a boy, and the same has happened before, but DD just thinks it's funny.
I'll be honest - I often see pretty clothes and think how lovely DD would look in them, but I would never dream of forcing her to wear something which made her uncomfortable. DH and I just want her to be herself, and if that means dressing like a boy, surely that's okay? My mum, as I said, thinks differently - she doesn't say much but I can often feel an air of disapproval.
I was just wondering whether anyone else had gone, or is going, through anything similar with their daughter and whether people think we are doing things 'right.'
I never want my daughter to turn round when she is older and tell us that we stopped her from being herself, and I never want to feel that she has to conform just to please other people. My mother doesn't seem to understand this and although I shouldn't let it bother me, it does.
Thankyou for reading!