dp ex demanding money for me to meet their child! surely this is wrong?

[mumto3beauts]

Im not sure if I am posting this in the right place but could do with some advice. My dp has a child with his ex and within the last 2-3 weeks she has told him that if he wants me (lard ass as she refers to me) to meet their ds, then either him or myself have to pay her £2800 in cash before hand, plus pay a full months nursery bill of £668. I have said to him this isnt right her saying she wants money for me to meet him as its blackmail and in a way selling her child. Anyone have any advice? TIA

Eh? Bonkers!
Do you want to meet this prodigal son? Does ExP want you to meet him? If so, why can't he just bring child over to yours and bugger the extortion?

Why would you pay to meet a child who is not yours but your DP has right of access presumably and is paying maintenance?

OP is this money that your DP owes her in lieu of child maintenance?

prob money he owes her

I would not pay it. Op if things get uncomfortable here please try posting on the step parenting board.

Yes I want to meet his ds, we are expecting a child together and he lives with me, she hates my guts as we were apparently best friends even tho I've only met her twice, he pays her £50pw child maintainence via csa and has done since they split up over a year ago. Her condition of me meeting their ds is to pay the money to her or basically get stuffed! He isn't allowed to bring his ds to our house and has to stay at his dads house while he has him (ds is 20 months btw) just very frustrating for both of us, and why should I pay to meet his ds and why should he have to pay her for me to meet his ds. She is very controlling and a bit of a nut job, and as my do puts it, what she wants she gets-well sorry not this time!

Yes, £2800 is a strange figure to pick out of the air. Why that figure?

He has no formal agreement, but we feel this is going to be his only option. We have no idea why that amount but a couple of months back she asked him to take out a £2000 loan for her and he told her straight out no.

He needs to take this to court ASAP.

I'd say the £2800 is a credit card debt etc. it's too precise.

And why does he just do as she says without good reason?

He needs a formal agreement and a support worker to liaise with the crazy woman his ex on your behalf. What a totally bizarre and ridiculous demand on her part. Your dp should be allowed access to his child, and if his ex has an issue with the child meeting you, then that should be discussed with a support worker and why the lunatic has these issues. She doesn't have a leg to stand on because she has said that she is happy for you to meet him if you pay money - therefore she doesn't have a legitimate concern about you, it is just malice.

Wow she sounds unhinged!

Firstly, ask your DP for her to put it in writing as he wants to be able to take time to read, fully understand and consider her proposal. If she's as thick as she sounds she might do it.

Then, he needs to take that written bullshit to Court with him when he applies for a formal contact order.

She shouldn't be able to call the shots about where he sees his son (assuming she has no good reason to do so!)