advice on co-sleeping with a newborn.

[pinkdolly]

hiya,

My DD3 is 2 weeks old. When she was first born she would wake up for her feeds and then go straight back to sleep. But now every time I lay her back in her crib she cries bitterly. I try to leave her for a little bit. But I have never been one to leave a baby crying when they are obviously unhappy. So my nights have been have been like this -

Jasmine will sleep for a few hrs then wake for a feed, after feeding I put her in her crib (she is usually asleep at this point), 5 mins later she wakes up crying. I pick her back up, sometimes she wants to feed again to calm her down, sometimes she falls straight back to sleep in my arms. So I put her back in her crib and the same thing happens again.

She wakes up twice in the night and it can take her 2hrs to get back to sleep, each time.

I have 2 very active children aged 4 and nearly 3. I have found myself becoming ratty with them as I am so tired during the day.

Dh works away and is only back at the weekends and although my mum lives with us at the moment I feel the girls are my responsibility and therefore wouldn't feel right leaving them with her to get some sleep during the day.

At 5 o'clock this morning I gave in and put her in my bed. She went straight to sleep and slept really well for 3 hrs, (me too, it was bliss).

Jasmine loves her cuddles, and when she is awake during the day she likes to be held rather then left in a bouncy chair, swing etc...

Just wandering what your views were on this.

Yesterday I was so tired I just wanted to cry but I am feeling better today, what would you do?

BTW- I have tried dummies and rocking (doesn't work).

thanx.

i didnt co sleep with ds1, but ds2 has been a different matter. with ds1 I would stay awake to fed but this time round fed lying down both of us asleep. Ds2 has been in our bed since he was 2 days old. I never intended it to happen and still have him in his cot at the begining of the night. He is nearly 5 months and i think the habit has formed. suspose it goes along the line of if it works for you then fine. hth

First of all, congratulations!

Have you tried swaddling? It helps some babies. If you are happy for dd to sleep in your bed then continue to do so. Also, if you've got your mum with you ask her if she would look after the older girls whilst you and dd3 get some sleep in the afternoon. Maybe carry her in a sling during the day for a while. At least, that's what I would try and do!

Good luck

Thanx for your replies.
Forgot to mention that dd3 has to be swaddled, she want go to sleep at all if she is not wrapped in her fleece blanket. And it has to be fleece. The other day her nappy leaked onto her blanket so I had to wash it, tried wrapping her in a shawl and she was not a happy bunny, till it came out the wash. So have had to buy a spare fleece blanket just in case.

I co-slept with dd1 till she was about 3 years old, partly because she needed it and partly because I love cuddles. Both my older girls come into my bed every morning for a cuddle.

DD2 was one of those children who would fall asleep anywhere (except for in your arms), she liked to be left, very independant from an early age I think.

There is just so much contrasting advice about the safety of co-sleeping, am just interested in your opinions.

I had exactly the same situation that you describe and was worried about co-sleeping but now we do it all the time and it's great . Dp especially was worried about the safety aspect but he now sleeps in a spare room, although this is more due to the recent heatwave than anything else. Dd feeds at about midnight then I put her in her moses basket, she wakes at about 4 and ythen I put her in with me. I felt that co-sleeping and feeding lying down was surely safer than me trying to stay awake holiding her and then fallig asleep slumped across her iyswim. Good luck whatever you decide.

I have co-slept with all my 4 and it is definitely the easiest, most relaxed way to do things, and does make for happy, secure babies.

I think that co sleeping is the best way forward with a clingy baby, everyone keeps asking how am i managing etc. with new baby and am surprised how well i am doing, and i put it all down to the fact that dd sleeps well and that is because i let her cuddle up with me if she wants to. I have a bedside cot so that my dh has space in bed as well.
I would be a bit worried about the fleece blanket and overheating, i was told not to swaddle but if i did to use a thin sheet or in cold weather a cellular blanket. So if she insists on fleece maybe you should put her in just a vest or even just a nappy when its hot. But im only a first time mum so im only just learning that sometimes it is ok to break the rules

I co-slept with both my DD and DS. After my DD (who was an frequent visitor to the bed until 11mths) we decided to co-sleep with DS after trying to get him in the craddle and him refusing (same as DD). We co-slept for 8 wks (both at night & naps -- if DD was home alone with us, I got up after DS fell asleep) Then he went into his craddle no problem, then happily into his cot.

I co-slept with mine from about 3 weeks on. With dd, it was winter. Dh and I used short cushions rather than pillows, leaving a space in between us which had no pillows and no quilt. DD slept in there. The quilt just about covered her feet.

Ds was a summer baby, and we only had a sheet anyway. He wanted to feed all the time, so I would feed him lying down, and we would both fall asleep together. Because he was lower down the bed, I tended to keep him on the outside, away from dh, with the sheet tucked in to stop him falling out.

Both went into a cot when they started sleeping through the night, at about 10 months and 8 months respectively.

With my first ds we co slept and it was the only way we could get enoug sleep! But with ds2 10wks i wrap him up tightly in a fleece and put him in his mosses basket before he actually falls asleep. (alowing him to fall asleep on his own)

Our bedroom windows are always open even in the winter (love the fresh feeling in bedroom) he sleeps like a dream but two children are so different as sleepers!