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Please help - struggling with unsettled 3yo

3 replies

Youcanneverhavetoomanybooks · 22/01/2014 19:17

As I write this, my dd has been screaming / sobbing for 30 mins. She won't let me near her to calm her down and when I ignore her she just carries on and on. I am 36 weeks pregnant and her behaviour has been getting more and more erratic as time goes on. She is a very bright child and she knows that there is a new baby coming and I think she is just very unsettled.

She is very mummy-centric - she always has been but now it's getting worse. Dh tries really hard and is a brilliant dad but she won't always let him near her - sometimes he only pokes his head around the door to her room and she starts screaming. We're really working on this as we know that when the baby arrives, she'll have to let others help her more.

At the moment, she seems to be behaving really well at nursery (she loves it - goes in the mornings) and for the childminder (one afternoon a week) but for us, she's either an angel or a total monster. The flashpoints at the moment seem to be getting dressed in the morning or ready for bed, and brushing her teeth. Her bedtime has been getting later and later - not because we don't start early - started at 6.15 tonight with the aim of her being in be for 7ish (ha ha - am writing this because I have given up for the moment and it's 7.15 already) - but because she gets herself into such a state that she can't seem to get out of it and short of using physical force, I'm not sure what to do. Last night I managed to get her out of her clothes but she wouldn't let me put her pjs on and ran around screaming, naked for 15 mins - when I tried to put them on she just ripped them off again. She ended up in bed at just gone 8 in the end, having exhausted herself.

Any ideas? Please help. She is a lovely little girl but I just don't know how to help her.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
cerealqueen · 23/01/2014 00:11

No specific advice but hand -holding, even tho' so late.

Have you been reading any good book on new baby? I found 'I'm a big sister' very helpful, and 'There is a house inside my mummy' (not sure of titles, check Amazon)
Some 1:1 mummy time? Out for tea just you two at weekend? Sounds like she needs you time, walks, cuddles, fun, and for it to continue after baby. x

FamilyNapPlease · 23/01/2014 07:12

No advice sorry, we have a moody tantrummy often anti 3 year old too and some days are a real struggle. Lots of upheaval last year didn't help. But tiredness seems to be a real trigger. I am trying to be less busy and give us more time pottering about at home, connect with him more but also get more proper time out for me too, and be really firm on boundaries yet as calm as I possibly can. This seems to be our way forward! Can be a big ask for all that to fall in place day to day though. One day at a time!

MadameJ · 23/01/2014 07:52

My 3 yo is just coming through this stage now, and all I can say is it's bloody hard work!!

When it started, me and dh decided between us how we would go about it (she was also trying to play us off against each other). In regards to doing things we had really clear rewards/ consequences for each thing such as if she didn't put her pj's on then we had no bedtime story, if she did then she could choose which book we read.
It did take a while but as I said she seems to be bet I have jinxed it now coming through it. Good luck x

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