Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

No presents at childs party?

15 replies

MooMa42o · 22/01/2014 08:09

I am just curious really as to the reasoning behind a parent saying no presents please, at a child party, i always feel like i should take something along if we have been invited somewhere & feel very rude to turn up empty handed! When an invitation specifically states not presents, then i will not take one but make an extra special card.

So my question is as a parent, other than religion why would you state no presents, surely as a child some of the magic of the party is to have a mountain of presents, although by all means it is not the be all & end all.

Have you stated no gifts & what was the reasoning behind this?...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TravellingToad · 22/01/2014 08:16

I stated no gifts for DS's first birthday.

IME people have a budget for £5-£10 for a birthday gift. There is a limit to how much cheap plastic tat I can take in my house. 15 children all armed with aforementioned crap for my 1 year old was too much to bear so I just said he has everything he needs, please no gifts.

It was delightful. Might do it for his 2nd bday too, as he'd be overwhelmed by that many gifts. All he needs really is what he'll get from family.

MinesAPintOfTea · 22/01/2014 08:16

DS hadn't yet had a party with friends but I'd be tempted to state this as sure to short generations, divorces and long lives he has a vast family and we can't cope with the presents he gets from them alone without adding another 20 from friends.

TravellingToad · 22/01/2014 08:16

By the time they're older though you just have to accept it, otherwise child would be a bit put out!!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

LydiaLunches · 22/01/2014 08:20

My friends and I often stated no presents at parties for our preschoolers. Joint parties in particular would have s charity collection instead. I have only said it when I have had a very large party as I think 30+ presents is ridiculous and I would have felt grasping (although I don't think that as a guest!). Small parties in the house are so selective that I know the guests would definitely prefer to bring a gift.

LydiaLunches · 22/01/2014 08:21

Impossible as they get older though but at joint parties guests can bring one gift and they can be shared.

overthemill · 22/01/2014 08:24

I've never done this but it's a good idea! Sil asks invitees to give (if they want to) £3 in coins. Then child goes to toys r us and buys something with vast quantities of cash. To a kid £30 in coins is vary wealth! This was when child was under 11. Think it probably changed as got older

notso · 22/01/2014 08:33

I have only been to one party that said no gifts. They asked for donations for Alder Hey Children's Hospital as the birthday boys cousin was being treated there for Leukemia.
I still took him a small gift.
Feeling bad about it now as I probably overwhelmed him with my crappy present

Meglet · 22/01/2014 08:34

I asked for no presents for DD's 5th birthday party, and I explained to DD why I was doing it. I don't think it's too much of a hardship to miss party presents if a child has already received presents from family and is having a big birthday party with friends.

The reason was that after DS's whole class 5th party he had simply too many presents, too many to open in one day, too many to even register what he had (not everyone labelled them). We had no where to put them either.

So I really wanted to keep presents to the minimum for DD's party. Most people did bring a little gift but a few people stuck to the no present 'rule' .

mrshunkermunker · 22/01/2014 13:05

Amongst my friends we all do 'no gifts' but take something for the party table. It makes hosting easier and the children still learn the good practice of taking a gift when you're invitef somewhere. If I want to take a little gift its something like bubbles or something for the craft box (glittery stickers or something cheap but glitzy), normally only a pound or two. But my children are only 3 and 5 so it will change at some point I suppose.

UniS · 22/01/2014 19:13

Did this for DS and friend's whole class plus extras party when he was 5. Party in village hall, really didn't want to be carrying home a heap of presents ( potentially 40) as well as the party food rubbish, lost jumpers, cake box, tea towels etc.

It wasn't hard to write on the invites. Invites were to a joint party in between the two birthdays . IIRC the wording was something like

As this party is not on A or Bs birthday please don't bring any presents to the party.

They each had a few presents from friends on their birthdays and one or two people did bring small token presents to the party, for which we said thank you.

almondfinger · 22/01/2014 20:03

My DD has been invited to two joint parties so far this year (one this weekend and another early Feb) where we have been asked not to bring presents but donate to a specified charity. It's fantastic. Saves me having to go and buy presents for children I don't know (so I don't know what they like).

I also think it teaches a lesson about greed. Now I'm no spoilsport and my children could be classed as spoiled. They have everything their hearts desire, they really don't need anymore. DD1 got 5 barbies for her last birthday. I don't know how many we have now, but enough for a good play wedding party!

DD and I had a talk about it and about what a nice thing it was for her friends to do. I also got to reiterate my point about children who have nothing, who are out working at her age (6). She has decided that she also wants no presents for her b'day but a donation to charity helping children in Africa go to school. I suspect this will change by Nov but it's never too early to plant the seed.

Also saves on all the tat - aqua bloody beads, Disney bloody sand picture maker!

QTPie · 22/01/2014 22:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

memememum · 22/01/2014 23:27

We always encourage/request our family only give one or two presents to DCs as it's really nice if they can ac

memememum · 22/01/2014 23:33

Whoops try again
We always encourage/request our family only give one or two presents to DCs as it's really nice if they can actually take in and enjoy each gift rather than be overwhelmed.
I haven't put 'no presents' on an invite but when other parents are kind enough to ask what DC might like I will say something like 'there's no need or just a little something'. Toys here seem to multiply so quickly here that most of them don't get played with and I don't have the space to rotate.
Personally presents for my DC to give their friends come from charity shop (lucky enough to have one with nice kids stuff up the road) or swaps of duplicates we have ended up with.

KatyN · 23/01/2014 09:54

I LOVE this idea. My son is only 2 and not have a friends party yet. I did ask at christmas for a few presents and it meant the family really thought about what to buy. I don't mean they wouldn't normally think about it.. but they each bought one sensible present.

we still ended up taking 2 days to open them!

Flip