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Do you do the "Your Grounded for A Week" Thing?

15 replies

charliecat · 29/07/2006 21:31

My mum never caught onto this so I was never grounded, do you do this..? Do you stick to it and what sort of thing warrants it?

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Miaou · 29/07/2006 21:37

Nope but maybe my kids aren't old enough (9 and 7)

Plus they are happy to stay at home all the time anyway.

I was never grounded either, not sure if that was because they didn't catch on or because I was a goody two-shoes

Not sure I would ever use it tbh - far more likely to use a more targeted punishment.

SpaceCadet · 29/07/2006 21:39

i dont ground my elder ones as i found it didnt act as much of a deterrent, instead i suspend allowance, remove, tv's etc from bedrooms and ban sleepovers.

nearlythree · 29/07/2006 21:41

My kids are too young, but once I was on the receiving end of it and it left me well p**d off. And it didn't change my behaviour one bit. It seemed very unjust given that I'd had no warning, and it was disproportionate to what I'd done. And my mum deliberately chose a week when I had something special planned. So, if you are going to do it, make sure you give plenty of warning that if unnacceptable behaviour is repeated then grounding will follow; save it for really serious misbehaviour; and choose your timing wisely.

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nearlythree · 29/07/2006 21:43

Just trying to think what would have worked for me... definitely not losing cash or tv. Think actually being treated with respect might have done?

Poor mum, she is lovely but we did not get on when I was a teenager!

SpaceCadet · 29/07/2006 21:46

i always warn my two teens that further unacceptable behaviour will result in punishment, i dont just do it without warning..it would be nice if my teen daughter would trwst me with a little respect for a change..i tell her when she is demanding that i respect her, that respect hasd to be earned and kicking a hole in her bedroom door and ringing a friend up and saying she is being ill treated because i dared to waern her she will have her allowance stopped, dont warrant respect.

SpaceCadet · 29/07/2006 21:47

rant over! you can tell im not getting on with my 15 year old dd!

flutterbee · 29/07/2006 21:51

I remember when I was 14 my stepdad grounded me for life

I will probably use it when ds is in his teens but I will make my groundings a bit more realistic.

Pisces · 29/07/2006 21:57

Spacecadet, I think you and I might be twins!!! I have a hard-work 15 year old too!

SpaceCadet · 29/07/2006 22:02

pisces..she is more exhausting now than she was as a baby!

Pisces · 29/07/2006 22:16

I know what you mean! When they were little, they went to bed when you said, they did what you said they should and NOW!!!!!!!!! Respect seems to have gone out of the window.

I have grounded her though and it did work. She was repeatedly late when coming in at night and both her Dad and I warned her that if she was late again she was grounded for a week. We did it despite her tantrums. We HAD to do it. It was either that or be walked all over.

It has not cured her though, she still pushes the boundaries or tells me "Dad says it's okay if it's okay with you". Dad and I have now learnt to check with each other!!!

We are lucky in some respects, we live in a village in a rural area. There is not much she can get up to, it is just the worry all the same and she is still only 15.

orangegiraffe · 29/07/2006 22:18

In my case, it never lasts a week

Pisces · 29/07/2006 22:28

It was hard Orangegiraffe! She is very intelligent, she has arguments for this and arguements for that! Sometimes I wonder about schools, they teach them to question things!! But having said that, I think that teachers probably get it as bad as we do nowadays. But we stuck to our guns. Now she knows at least, even if she DOES push the boundaries, that we will ground her so it has been a deterrent. I think the hardest step was doing it in the first place and following it through despite the pain for the week! Teenagers are a right pain!

orangegiraffe · 29/07/2006 22:43

Maybe I should be more determined like you. I am ok for a day or so but I just give in, dh says I am way to soft.

Pisces · 29/07/2006 22:53

It was very hard. It was a question of just gritting our teeth and doing it. My DH and I decided together and both supported each other when we wanted to give in (and there were times during the week when we both wanted said is this worth it?). It was almost as if she was testing us, if that makes sense. She STILL needs boundaries and we had to be there for her. Does it make sense if I say that it seemed as if she was almost grateful that we had imposed the grounding? I think for our DD she just had to know just how far she could go.

SminkoPinko · 29/07/2006 23:00

My sons and I overheard a mum saying "That's it! You're grounded!" to a kid of about 3 the other day. We all glanced at each other and pissed ourselves laughing. I had to hastily manouvre away from the scene as one son said piercingly, "Oh dear. That mummy thinks her baby is a teenager!"

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