I've posted before about trying to get her to tidy up after herself. She is 9. Her room is awful, I mean really bad, as in cannot see carpet most of the time, washing lying everywhere mixed in with the toys and books (clean AND the ironed stuff I give her to out away) and she sneaks food such as crisps upstairs sometimes which isn't allowed and there will be crumbs and packets there too.
We have tried all sorts. We have bagged and removed all toys until its been tidied. W have cleaned it with her; my friend has come round and helped her tidy it. There are places for everything to go, and it's relatively easy - toys in the toy boxes, books on the shelf, clothes in the drawers. Dirty clothes in the washing and rubbish in the bin. I don't expect it to be perfect, just that she can find the things she needs for school and after school activities and I can get in to Hoover and dust and change the bed.
The only thing that worked in terms of getting her to do it was when I physically sat on her bed with a book all weekend and supervised her doing it, but I don't have the time to do this every weekend and to be quite honest I am not willing to.
She h now been tidying her room every night after school this week and all weekend except for an hour yesterday when we went to the opticians to collect her new glasses. She's on no tv, her tablet has been removed, and she's having no snacks or food treats. I promised to take her and her sister to KFC for dinner tonight as long as the room is tidy, and she has done nothing in it so far so we will still go but she will not be eating, she can have toast when she comes home.
We have talked about it too; I've explained everyone has to muck in and help in this family (DH and I both work full time and are also busy outside work, she has three activities she does we take her to as well, we like to do things together at the weekend). Her sister is 14 and is responsible for her own room and keeps it well, again not perfect but I don't expect that, and also has some other chores she does.
Dd2 is perfectly capable of doing her room. It would take no more than an hour. She is just completely unwilling to. She sits on the middle of the bed and does nothing. She then comes down and lies (this gets on my nerves too) that she has almost finished.
There are no arguments as such, no flash points, she is just hell bent she will not do it and someone else should sort it for her. Sorry this is an epic post but I am hoping beyond hope someone else will have some ideas (beyond binning all her belongings which I am loathe to do but am seriously considering by now).
It's been going on probably for several years and I am out of patience now I know she knows how to do it and is just "at it".