To not bother with a christening and tips for DTD.

[SpagBogs]

WIBU not to christen the DTD it been quiet stressful so many friends and family have been demanding to see the DTD. They don't really like being transported and it quiet difficult as their pushchairs has not arrived yet so I am currently using a moby sling twin which they hate. So many people are expecting to meet up for a coffee and get professorial pictures but I do not know how to tell them I have not got time.

I also need some advice on the DTD they will not sleep for more than 2.5 hours resulting in them screaming waking each other up constantly. I am also currently BF both of them very painful bit i will try and continue till they're 8 months, but one of the DTD won't latch properly and we are both getting stressed out by it so I am thinking of investing in the medela double breast pump. This will be the first time using a breast pump if i decided to buy it so if anyone has bought it can you tell me if it worth it.

Sorry this is long but no.3. After the DTD my older DC have got very upset over this they have not bonded with them yet and refuse to take pictures with them. I tried to make it exciting for them such as suggesting names and helping me shop for the DTD. Before the DTD we had a very close relationship and i would bond with my DC every day but now I have not got the time. I had booked a summer break for the DC they were very exited but I think i let them down as I can not go with them now and it will just be DH and DC.

Sorry I haven't had babies (adopted dd) so can't help you with sleep and bf. However on christening, if you're not religious then it seems hypocritical to do it.

BUMP

no need for a christening if you dont want one. Neither of my 2 are christened but thats because we are not religious.

What age are your twins and what ages are your other children? Are you getting real life breastfeeding support as well?

Why can you not go on the summer break? Summer is months away and things should be easier for all of you by then

A friend with twins had the Avent double pump, she said it was brilliant. Have you been to a BF consultant about BFing (someone qualified - not just MW or HV who runs the local breast feeding drop in)? Mine saved BFing for me.

How old are your twins?

On the summer holiday - why can't you go?

I think you need to talk about the Christening to your priest - are you managing any form of weekly attendance? Getting it done, low key, on an ordinary service won't be daunting once you're back in the swing of attending.

Tell people who want professional photos you'll get them done on their first birthday.

Don't make decisions now about summer holidays.

There's a multiples forum on here somewhere - I'll see if I can find it for you to save you searching. I think those who have survived will have far better advice and tips.

MN Multiples forum here

Thank you I will repost on Multiple form. My DTD are 5wo and I need to renew my passport but because I was not born in Britain it going to be complicated I think so I don't think I can go on holiday. DTD have not got passports yet.

SpagBog

I don't think getting the twins christened is important if it doesn't matter much to you. I can't see any real implications unless you wanted to send them to a religious school.

No tips on the sleeping front as I'm struggling to get my own BF 6wo to sleep.

On the other DC & holiday - I'm sure the older kids will get over the jealously soon. Just keep trying to involve them & maybe when you can get DH & DM/MIL/etc to watch the twins for a couple hours so you can spend some QT with older DCs & might be nice for you to have a small break as well. But again I don't have personal experience dealing with this.

I'm sure if you can start the passport things now you should be able to go on the holiday. A British passport for the twins should only take about 3 weeks once you send it off - I recommend the check & send service the post office offer as mine would have had 2 errors had I not! Surely it wouldn't take more than 12 weeks to renew yours & that brings us only to April. I know sorting out passports is probably the last thing on your mind.

It sounds like you are doing really well though & I admire you! Try to seek help in real life about the breast feeding & sleep issues. But well done to you & congratulations.

I've replied on the multiples forum.

Hi spag, I don't have twins, but did have a very difficult baby! Who didn't like any form of transportation, and I felt exactly the same about christening, professional photos, people coming for coffee (or going out for coffee)
The best advice is don't do anything that stresses you out at the moment, 5 weeks is so young, you have plenty of time. I got professional photos at 4 months (and he still looks tiny so I'd not missed the baby stage), christened at 8 months (which meant I could enjoy it because I was getting more sleep and could organise it properly) and I really put my foot down about visitors. When people asked to visit/meet up I simply replied that I am so exhausted, I'll let them know when I'm ready for visitors, and if they moaned, then I just ignored them!
As for the sleep, at 5 weeks 2.5 hours is completely normal! Over the next few months you should find it gradually getting better, but even now my 14 week old is still up a few times a night.
With the breast feeding (I too am ebf) you must ask someone for help, I worry that if you start expressing, it will be even harder to find time to express lots which will only add more pressure on you.
I have a 3.5 DS and 14 week old DD and jealousy is completely normal between siblings at first. Best thing is just to try and give the older children 15 mins of one on one time whenever you can (reading a book?) just so they know you're still there for them, and again over the next couple of months the twins will get easier, into a routine, sleep more, which will free more time for the other children to enjoy the twins more, and also get more of your time again.
It will settle down! Just takes a bit more time, hope that helps xxx