Moby Wraps - do they make for a 'clingy' baby?

[Emilycee]

Hi all

Ive been wondering whether to try a Moby wrap when my ds1 is born in April. I know a lot of people love them and find them a great way to bond/do little jobs having both hands free etc. My question is (excuse my ignorance this is my first!) Would using a wrap/sling make a baby clingy? How often can they/should they be used for and how long at a time? Eg. 10 mins, 30 mins, an hour etc.

I've just read the Baby Whisperer book and really like the sound of it but not sure a wrap/sling would work with the whole idea of 'giving them the gift of independence' ie. By being able to put the baby down once his needs are met etc. I jusy love the idea of having him snuggled up to me when I am pottering about...

What are your experiences of using wraps/slings and any advice welcome :-)

Thanks!

I don't use a Moby but I use a various other wraps/slings. I rarely use a buggy. My daughter isn't clingy at all, she loves exporeing. You can use it for as long as you like, some people with newborns can go through phrases of only taking them out for nappy changes and at night (it's not safe to sleep with them). You can breastfeed a baby in one and it's great to use to have skin on skin contact with the baby.

It really is lovely. I love it now my baby is a bit older (11 mo) as I can hear her babbling and she loves seeing everything

In my experience they don't make clingy babies and are a godsend if your baby is a clingy one. The gift of independence is a nice idea but simply not true in my opinion. I have had one that happily chilled and slept in Moses basket and two that didn't. Once the were able to entertain themselves by batting at toys they would slowly be happy to sit alone for longer periods and once they could hold as explore objects would be happy to be alone.

I love mine, and the dcs love it too, I don't think they can ever get too much Moby Time when they're tiny.

but probably a more practical thing to bear in mind if your baby is due in April is they are a great deal of very warm jersey and while your baby's temp will be nicely regulated by being close to you, and safe and secure and womblike by being close to your heart (and their heads are so sniffable and kissable when held in one) your back will sweat like a sweaty thing swathed in all that fabric.

I have a Mai Tei (I think this is the right spelling) for warmer weather which is cotton and much less fabric.

I don't think it's possible to "make" a baby clingy (except perhaps by never allowing anyone else to look after them, but that's more when they are a bit older). Babies either are or aren't.

The only downside I can see is if your baby gets used to always napping in the sling, they might refuse to nap any other way when they get older. I know someone this happened to. But if you use some other sorts of nap techniques/locations you should be able to avoid this habit.

My DD never liked the sling however so you might want to borrow one before investing in your own!

I had a Kari-me (like a moby but thinner fabric I think) and I loved it. But we used it for trips out of the house mainly so DS did still get lots of time lying on a mat kicking about which he enjoyed. Or having cuddles with other people!

I did use it at home for naps though in the early days (up to 4/5 months) as it was the best way to get him off to sleep). And had no real problems getting him to sleep in a cot when he was a bit older.

Wrap slings are fab! I'm pretty evangelical about them now and can't bring myself to give mine away even though I don't plan to have any more DC. It just reminds me of a lovely time with my baby (sad I know!).

I dont think so, it's down to the temperament of your child. It's not quite the same as a sling (I used a sling with both children so can't compare) but I co slept with one of my children but not the other, and the co sleeping one has been by far easier and happily independent, will go off at play groups and play with other children and such whereas the non co sleeping one would never be more than a foot or two away from me. This could be temperament or that being close to me made him feel safe and secure. Who knows. They are different children. Tbh though I think doing whatever makes them happy ( within reason) in the early years can't be a bad thing and if they enjoy it why not

My daughter is 14 months old and we used a Moby and then a back carrier more than a buggy. I still use the carrier on occasion in the house when she is whingy and I need to get on with things. We co-slept for 8 months and she still cuddles to sleep. We went to a playgroup this morning and the leader commented on how independent she is - she walks in and just toddles off without a backward glance, she has also not gone through the shy, won't be with anyone but Mum stage. In my experience, no they don't make a child clingy!

You don't give babies a gift of independence

You nurture your babies and meet their needs exactly how your instincts tell you to and they will use the security and confidence that fosters in them to start exploring the world and developing their own independence when they are developmentally ready.

There's a reason why you want him to be safely snuggled up to you while you're pottering around. It is because that is the very best thing you can do for him.

Some babies are clingy. Some toddlers are clingy. Some are really independent. You can't create a more independent child by pushing them away and you can't create a clingy one by keeping them close. Quite the opposite in fact.

Follow your instincts. They are a great guide to motherhood

Moby was great for DD, and for me. She would nap far longer in the sling than if we tried to put her down. Life with a small baby is so much easier when they'll nap for 3 hours instead of 20 minutes! Also much easier to pop baby in and out than carting a pushchair/travel system around in the car if we were going somewhere.

When she was awake we tended to take her out and let her kick around on a blanket or in the pram, so she had plenty of independent time too.

Thank you so much for all of your comments - you have put a niggling doubt to rest in my head! Going off to look at some of your recommendations now.

You read the all of the books but really Mumsnet is the best place to get the info!

Do beware the baby whisperer - babies don't want or need a gift of independence - Children happily become independent as they grow older and take steps into the world / ie when they can see a few feet away and don't panic whn they can't feel your heartbeat. When they can sit up and play with toys etc

Tiny newborns need cuddles an security - research has shown that babies who are made to feel secure are more likely to be independent and comfortable with themselves later

Just respond to baby and remember that te baby whisperer is attempting to train your child to behave in a certain way
She doesn't have children of her own

I think she is sort of useful for older babies but totally inappropriate for newborns

I've found that DS2, who is only ever being transported in a sling, is much less clingy than DS1 who was always transported in a pram/buggy. Obviously there might be differences between them in personality that contribute to this, but babywearing definitely doesn't cause clinginess in my opinion.

Exactly what has been said already - you eventually foster independence by creating a safe and secure space from which your children explore. A baby doesn't want independence - it just wants his/her parents

Slings and carriers are a lovely way to keep your baby nestled in to you, safe and secure, while you get on with what you want to do. Enjoy the lovely newborn snuggles. Take it from a a lady who knows - I was too worried about this or that in the very early days and didn't capitalise enough on the newborn cuddles! Now DS just wants to crawl and walk and explore and climb and play, and I just want cuddles