So low and fed up

[Sofedup100]

MyDD will be 3 next week and I'm struggling so much. The constant tantrums,demands etc are at an all time high! Only just managed to get her dressed!
Just feel that the last 3 years have been such hard work and I'm not enjoying this as much as I thought I would! She's always been "demanding" even as a baby but I just feel like I've got no energy left. I have her 24/7, haven't had a break from her since April 2012! Just need to vent and see if anyone else feels like this? Just can't get out of feeling so down and low.

I'm no expert (struggling with my first!) but just wanted to say GOOD GOD WOMAN! You are a hero! Isn't there some way you can get a break?

Why haven't you had a break from her? She will be eligible for the 15 hrs a week childcare soon I think? I remember feeling similar when my dd was the same age and she wasn't particularly demanding plus I had some help so you have my sympathy! It is bloody hard work and you deserve a break.

I am sorry you're feeling like this, OP. I know it's difficult. What do you do for fun? Do you take her out often etc? My daughter is very similar, demanding and stroppy but it's normally down to boredom.

Have you thought about preschool a few days a week to give yourself a break? Do you have friends with children that you can meeet with regularly for some adult conversation and play time for your daughter? Or even play groups, family etc.

It will get easier, this age is tough for parent and child, but it won't last forever.
Have you seen your gp and spoken about how low you're feeling? Perhaps you have depression and it's making you feel sapped of energy and enthusiasm?

I know this might not really help you, but on a practical note first, I've found little tricks help enormously.

For example, getting my 3 year old dressed (or undressed) is a daily battle, just like you've described.

I've found more recently that if I get him on the toilet, he doesn't notice if I strip his bottom half down as he's almost half naked on the toilet anyway! He seems more compliant when trapped distracted on the toilet, even if he's finished. While he's sitting on the toilet we lift arms up and hey presto, before you know it, all changed and done.

And at the end of the day he pee's before a bath (chance to remove clothes) and I sit him after the bath back on the toilet wrapped in a towel for warmth while I guess which bedtime story he might choose tonight

But regarding how you're feeling in terms of stressed out. I was saying to my husband only last night that I wondered if there are any parents out there who don't spend all day with clenched teeth, feeling like they're almost drowning and desperate to find a nice sunny island to crawl up onto a beach for some much longed-for rest! He reckoned that the only way to live peacefully through parenthood (in the early years) is to hire a nanny! Not a choice for us, but I had to smile at his reply.

The trouble is, I bet if someone saw you on the street they'd see a together Mum with a cute little 3 year old, seemingly all beautifully 'together' and something to aim for. But behind closed doors, I think we all struggle as parents, because it is really hard. Toddlers are hard hard work. I do believe it pays off to fight the fight though. My Mum had a large family and she always said if you stick at it in the early says it pays off because soon enough a more independent and compliant child emerges. She always said its easier to give up but long term would be harder.

Of course every age has its problems but babies and toddlers are very physically and mentally draining because you're starting out and the ground rules are new to everyone.

Oh I've just seen the time and I have to run now. Sorry to cut short!