I have two children, and I'd like to share my view on parenthood, things I've learned and things I'll always try my best to remember.
Because today, there is so much information on parenting, that sometimes because of this we lose our way. Sometimes we're criticized for doing it 'wrong', and we can be left feeling rather bemused by it all.
In reality, it's about enjoying parenthood, learning as you go from your kids, no one else.
They don't all work in the same way. They're human beings.
They won't all react the same way to The No Cry Sleep Solution, the mass produced comforters or that light projecting mobile you spent too much money on to help them nod off.
Some may love to sleep in their cot, others may see it as hell on earth.
They won't all react the same way to meeting Santa, animals, getting water on their face or e-numbers.
As they grow, their preferences and view on life develop and as parents we just have to respect that. God knows I tried to get my daughter to lie on her tummy to play about a thousand times before realising that you know what? she just doesn't like it.
Yes the health visitor who had no children of her own told me she needed tummy time to help her develop and god forbid I should hold her while she sleeps, but I'm a rebel.
I chose to listen to my daughter instead.
Because all the advice in the world can't replace intuition, and nothing on this earth can prepare you for having children.
When my son was born, a nurse told me off for lying him on a pillow in the plastic box they provide for newborns. "Tut tut, we don't agree with doing this."
Well, guess what? My son clearly does because he's sleeping soundly. He's just been forced out of the lovely, dark, warm place inside me to be met by bright lights, weird noises and the absence of the closeness we shared. Give the child a pillow to lie on so he's more comfortable, and I'm a terrible mother. (Despite the fact I was up and watching him)
Some children want to eat solids at four months. Some aren't interested until seven months. Even then, they might not like those wholemeal rusks you so lovingly mashed up with breast milk to just the right consistency. They might prefer banana. And bottles.
A young child is not naughty, not for waking up in the night or opening the kitchen cupboards or pulling the cats tail. Not for crying when you can't think what on earth is bothering them. Not for pushing playdoh into the carpet or getting fingerprints on the tv.
A child is born curious with a thirst for knowledge, a hundred new things are learned every day, and if only people tried to understand these little people a bit more, perhaps things would be easier.
Now, I'm not talking down to anybody (trust me, I've made plenty of 'mistakes' since my first was born)
And I know that most of you will read this and agree that a child shouldn't be pushed into doing anything, and that they're all different. I'm simply saying that a lot of people do put children into one category and expect then all to behave the same way.
I've spoken to many mothers who are in despair over one thing or another - " my daughter keeps coming into our room at night, how do I stop her??"
"My son is a fussy eater and won't eat anything other than boiled eggs and biscuits, what do I do??"
"Why does my child insist on sucking his thumb at the age of five??"
There is always a million and one 'answers' to these questions, but the solution? Listen to your child. Do what is best for them (and no, this doesn't mean give them everything they want, this means put their best interests before anything else)
Choose your battles. Be kind to yourself. Trust your instincts. Don't worry what others think and put your children first. Parenting is not a competition, it's a time we should be enjoying and so what if I use Tesco own brand nappies and not tots bots or sometimes miss bathtime because the kids are too tired, or bribe them with sweets when they're driving me crazy, because at the end of the day, I love them and they're happy.
And I'm doing the best I can.
It's ok. It's ok to feel stressed , it's ok to boast about your kids, it's ok to co-sleep, to buy their clothes from charity shops OR m&s, to put them infront of the tv when you just want ten minutes to relax. It's ok to spoil them on Christmas if you want to, or to let them wear their new shoes to bed. It's ok to give them a dummy or or let them fall asleep in their pushchair.
It is, however, not ok to force them to do anything.
If your kids are happy, well adjusted and loved then do what you feel is best.
I could say plenty more but I'm sure you get the picture by now.
I love being a mum, more than anything, and I gave up trying to follow the rules because sometimes, they just don't work. And if it doesn't work, don't do it.