at the end of my tether - 4 mo hasn't slept more than 1 hour

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He used to sleep very well in moses. Moved him to his cot and now he screams all day and refuses to sleep all 6am to 6pm - he screams with overtiredness. I have a 2 yo so holding him to sleep doesn't work as I have to tend to toddler. So all day every day he screams til bedtime.

He wont sleep in his sling or pram either. Only moses which he has outgrown and he can't fit in anymore (99th centile height).

at night he wakes every hour. Feeds tgen sleeps for 1 hour. Repeats until 6am when the screaming starts.

I've shouted at my poor toddler I've completely lost it. I'm so sleep deprived and hearing screaming all day for hours and hours and HOURS on end is causing me to have panic attacks (I'm undergoing cbt for my high anxiety and panic attacks as it is).

What am I doing wrong? Why has everything changed all of a sudden? He can't have his moses he physically can't fit in it anymore!

Ds used to sleep very well in Moses though, can reflux come on after a while?

He's a determined little one, isn't he?

Have you googled bigger Moses baskets maybe? Worth a try if you could get one.

hope you're asleep OP!

I suspect unlikely to be reflux, more likely to be 4 month sleep regression leading to major overtiredness. I can only suggest ramping up the pram walking - longer walks and with white noise playing on your phone in the pram and with a blackout shade/dark scarf over as well. oh and wrap him up warm. keep going till he sleeps (when dd was very overtired it could take 40 mins of continuous walking till she would sleep...) and keep doing this, after a few days of better naps he should improve...

ps have you tried co sleeping? just as a temp measure to get more sleep into him.

No luck, been up twice.plus my throat hurts and I feel ill.

Triedco sleeping every night for the last week, hes not interested. Just claws at my face in bed.

Co sleeping doesn't work to get my dd to sleep but once she's asleep it helps to keep her asleep longer (as any time she stirs I stroke her and do deep slow breathing in her ear) so I thought it might be worth a try...

As I say it does sound a lot like 4 month sleep regression to me, leading to overtiredness. My solution to overtiredness was always long long pram walks (no stopping at all) but you might need to try car or sling or rocking if pram walks don't work. if you search on mumsnet you might find some more suggestions. good luck.

mini I'll certainly try your co sleeping suggestion, maybe that will work for a bit. I've called the doctor waiting to be called back. It doesn't feel normal for him to wake every hout and to scream all day unless on the boob. Just want to rule out silent reflux which was suggested to me a few times.

I'm ill myself - banging headache, sore throat, feeling queasy, could do with not hearing screaming all day and some sleep myself, let alone poor ds. He must feel so crap.

Its probably the sleep deprivation and illness talking but I feel such a failure and I know I must sound like a sap, but wish there was someone that could hug me just for a minute.

Just a quick post... If you do get some infant gaviscon from the gp and this doesn't seem to make a difference do go back and try something else. The gaviscon seems to be the first thing they prescribe for silent reflux (and normal reflux) and it doesn't always help, sometimes it can make them quite constipated too which is like swapping one problem for another. Rantadine (don't know if I've spelt that right) was much better for ds.

Also... (shoot me) but have you considered swapping to formula feeding? I say that with some fear of getting flamed but in all honesty if you are at the end of your tether and he is attached to the boob non stop formula feeding might be a break for you to have some personal space back and also you can clearly see how much feed he's getting - therefore you know if he's just had a big feed he just wants to suck so you could give a dummy. Dummies have been life savers for my two (I had severe pnd with dd and I think breastfeeding contributed to that, I felt much better when I formula fed - I then chose to formula feed ds from birth ten years later).

Another big advantage of formula feeding (or even just getting him to take a bottle of expressed breast milk) is that your dh can help with night feeds at weekends or when he has some time off to give you a break! And some sleep!

oh sweetheart. I am sending you an electronic hug if that helps at all. Can you take 2 minutes to get yourself a cup of tea and a painkiller?

Yes, do check out silent reflux with the dr. It would be unusual for it to kick in at 4 months with no signs before then though.

Other possibility is some kind of bug or pain - ear infection, sore throat, bad teething. I would take him down to the dr and get him checked out physically tbh, if you can. (They should be able to squeeze a 4 month old in even if they are fully booked).

You are not a failure. Babies go through bad patches and you are in one right now, but it's not your fault and it will pass. You just have to live through it somehow!

My first baby was just like this. I look back and think of it as one if the worst years of my life which is awful because it is supposed to be the best time.

Sleep deprivation is just torture. It can make you very ill both mentally and physically. I read in a book just last week that if people don't get 'dream sleep' for 3 nights in a row they start showing symptoms of a nervous breakdown. I also know that when you are that tired, finding the energy to change anything to help yourself is nearly impossible. However, that being said I think you need a plan of action.
First go straight to the doctor, get help for the baby and you. I expect you will be given infant gaviscon to try and that may make an immediate difference.
I would co sleep. At the very least you don't have to get out of bed every hour. You won't have to fully 'wake up' each time. But remember you are not a dummy.
If you want to stop bf. Do so. With a bit of perseverance the baby will drink out of a bottle. Try breast milk first, and try different bottles. You need a break.
Get out of the house, away from the baby. Get help. Get someone, anyone who can watch baby and go and have a breather. As often as you can. One to two hours without you will not hurt.

But most of all remember, it does get better. Even just in one months time things will be better than they are now. It won't be long before the baby can sit up and play with a few toys. Only a couple of months and he will be on solids in a big way, this will mean that even if you are still bf, you can have a break knowing that he can eat something with whoever you leave him with.

Hang on in there x

I remember ours used to have very broken nights at 4 months - I think it was co-inciding with a growth spurt. They got better after that.

Could it be teething? He's drooling, blowing raspberries, red cheeks, raised temp abd having lors of loose stool. Isn't 4.5 months young for teething? Dc1 was 7-8 months!

He's not slept all day again, feel rotten. I just want him to sleep for a little bit 3 full days of screaming!

What do you think about our suggestions re dummy, formula feeding, getting him seen by a gp re the reflux?

It could definitely be teething. Both of mine started teething around 4/5 months. Not too early!

It could definitely be teething. Try some nurofen, if that helps you'll know it's teething (or some other kind of pain)

Have you tried the pram walking....? (totally understand if you've not had the energy!)

If his temp is up as well, he could have ear or throat infection. Did the doc give you an appointment? They certainly should. Hugs.

It could definitely be teething if those are the symptoms. Does he calm down at all if you give him some Calpol? I'd definitely pop him to the GP and discuss his symptoms - as some of the others have said it could be any number of things and you're going to explode if you don't find out what it is soon. If it is reflux we found that lying DD on her front (mainly on our arms like a monkey) but also in her bassinet in the living room when she napped. Between that and the wedge that propped her up slightly she massively improved.

How is your DP handling all this too? Is he doing his fair share in the evenings? It sounds like it's all getting too much. Going out for a half hour drive once he's in and settled after work could be an idea. It's a short but important time for you to get some alone time. Even if you spend it screaming. :)

fairy I would give the odd bottle of formula a go to give me a break but he point blank refuses a bottle. I'm still trying. As for s dummy ive tried since he was 4 weeks until 11 weeks and he's always refused. I wish he would take a dummy!

GP could only give me a phone consultation so going to have to call tomorrow morning to get an appointment. I want them to check to see if the ear infection he had has definitely gone (he's finished the antibiotics for them)

mini its tough doing the pram walking as toddler wants to walk everywhere and isn't very fast then ds cries if we slow down.

wee he stopped screaming about half an hour after the calpol. Still not sleeping but is fussing and grizzling more than screaming now which is better at least. Dh is out the house 7am-8pm so much is left to me although he makes finner for us when he's home.

He's started screaming again now.

That's a long day for you. I take it his work aren't flexible enough to let him come home early for a few days to help you catch up?

Also if the pram walking isn't working have you popped him into a sling for the walk? He could probably face outwards now and the distraction might just do it for him. That was one of the things when DD had the reflux - she almost always shut up when we took her a walk round the park. My boss told me (before I had her) that the screaming always sounds less when you're outside, so if it's ever really horrible to take her for a walk. It did make a difference.

1. Your DH needs to take two days holiday/emergency leave to give you a break.

1. You need to leave the house for min. eight hours and go somewhere to sleep. Book a hotel if need be. You will get really ill if you are that sleep deprived.

1. Your DH needs to persist with the bottle or cup feeding while you are away.

1. Contact your Health Visitor and ask for help. Ask about HomeStart.

It could be colic or teething, keep up with the Calpol if it helps.

Huge sympathies, it sounds tough and you are doing a fantastic job keeping it together.

Would the toddler enjoy a buggy board? Just a random idea to try and get you out of the house....?

Ok, right now you just need to get through to the weekend when your DH can help.

Here's what I suggest.

Your DH needs to come home as soon as he possibly can each eve. I know that is hard with some jobs but really it's more important that you get a break.

You need to go to bed as soon as DH has arrived home and you've had a quick supper (takeaway pizza, anything quick). So by 9pm say, or earlier if DH can get home earlier. DH looks after DS once you are in bed. Use earplugs. Then you take over at 1 or 2am and DH goes to sleep.

Then once it's the weekend, try the pram thing.

Go to the doctor tomorrow. For a screaming 4 month old they MUST fit you in. Go and sit in their waiting room and be a nuisance if need be. If he's had ear infections before it's very likely he has one again. But he will also be overtired as well.

Massive hugs in the meantime. It WILL get better, you WILL get through this. You just need to survive.

Your post is bringing it all back to me.... I have to agree with Fairylea though. My son didn't have reflux, his first teeth were not a problem to him, he was hungry. All. The Time.

Sleep deprivation actually did give a breakdown and I ended up with severe PND. Please don't let it go that far for you.
What support do you have? Could you leave the baby with your mum/friend for a few hours and let them try with a bottle? DS didn't like taking a bottle from me at the start, he could smell my milk.

The day he did take it (from my mum) he drained 7oz and slept for 5 hours. He was starving.

Took him to the doctor - he's got an upper respiratory virus and one ear looks red. He was reluctant to give antibiotics again as he's just finished a course and there's basically nothing they can do for the virus.

Doctor said the pressure on his ears, nose etc coupled with a cough etc has made him miserable.

At least I know it's a virus and will hopefully go. In the meantime will do everything I can to try and comfort him and hope he gets some sleep.

Thank you all for your advice and support. X