qualifying as a midwife in just 2 months...

[oatcake]

... and, hey guess what? I don't want to be a midwife any longer.

I've had all my spark knocked out of me and am very disenchanted with the whole NHS package which is offered to midwives.

At least I've finished all of my college work now so that I can spend more time catching up on the gossip.

Is anyone else feeling that they too, have wasted 3 years of their life? My little boy was a baby when I started this course (the day after his second birthday) and now he's almost 5 and, yes, I feel bitter!

Grrr!

meant NHS package which is offered to women actually...

hey oatcake!

sounds like you need some time out - take a break, a few months, look for a job that you know you will enjoy, not just any old ward work

have you thoought about doing bank, or even better, agency? then you can get to know loads of people, experience all the different units as a working mw, i really hope you are not put off for life

np xxx

ps

I MISSED YOU!

HEY NP! I've been thinking about you lots! You have no idea how crap it's been. And talk about the lack of support!

Thing is, I need experience to do agency - I have not had to deal with any emergencies yet and need to be part of a few to gain confidence.

It's just little things have just nibbled away at my enthusiasm:

1. tutors not turning up (like the speaker on tuesday did not turn up for a 10.30 lecture so why weren't we called to say don't bother coming in as it's a good distance for me to travel into work.

2. almost had a disciplinary back in april when I tried to change my night shifts to be with my supposed mentor. I was given sunday, monday nights and then thurs, friday nights. So basically, this was a whole week of not functioning due to getting over nights, going back on them etc. and they weren't even with the mentor I was assigned!

3. got complainined about by the midwife I was working with after not functioning on nights back in April (some people are physically unable to cope with nights, I am one of them) I could not even read on these particular nights!

4. Being shifted from ward to ward to help with their short-staffing situation and therefore not getting the experience I needed.

5. Being placed on ITU the week after the death of my mum's second anniversary (she died on ITU) which was ok as they had given me the same shifts as a friend who could have supported me had I got upset. As it happened, she could not do the week at short notice due to childcare. Tutor not impressed with her. Moreso with me when I said I was emotionally unable to do it without her. "Just sort it out yourself! I'm not changing anything now, you'll have to do it yourself."

6. only get shift rota the week before if we're lucky!

No. I'm looking for a part time office job now. Had an interview for a fantastic children's charity job in May and would have taken it but was pipped to the post by someone with more experience.

Good God oats, what a fucking nightmare

Listen, im hardly one to talk, i ditched nursing about a year ago and ive had a few different jobs since. i wouldnt go back to nursing for a million pounds.

but i cant believe this has happened to you. so its not the actual clinical side of things (it never is) its the bloody office politics. i really dotn blame you

are you going to keep up your registration? i really really think you could do some bank work, or some agency (nights are good to do for agency, like on the wards, not a lot happening, and i bet you would like it because obviously you wouldnt be involved in any of the politics of the wards)

a good agency is the BNA or Mayfair (although i dont think Mayfair would take a newly qualified) or what about the hospital bank?

dotn chuck it away oaty, youve worked so hard

do it for me?

Unfortunately, what I've learned is that I have to do things for myself and not other people... know what I mean? When you go into work, you need to go in feeling as though you're going to enjoy it. At the moment, I go in feeling either dread, or resignation.

Things are so litigious that midwives practice so defensively and then I've witnessed and researched for my project, how this escalates into bullying! I can count the midwives I like on one hand and this is not good considering there're about 50 midwives employed by the trust!

But as it happens, you can sleep easy, as I will probably keep up my registration by doing bank work. So, I'll need to have an interview to be a bank midwife and need to prepare my bloody portfolio for that!

Oh, another thing. Last year, I was thinking of jacking it in as I thought that I don't want to pay for full time childcare when I only wanted to work part time so I checked if I could do set days/nights (only two so not that exhausting). Was told Yes of course as long as you take your turn in nights.

This year, family friendly hours are out of the window and you get what you're given.

I really don't enjoy it enough to devote myself so readily.

Oh, and inbetween all this, I've bought a cottage near to where I come from:

millcottage.info

We've spent nearly every weekend on it since December when we bought it, doing it up, so we're both exhausted...

It's our retirement fund but I've got too attached to it and now I don't want anyone staying there... I adore it. It feels wonderful there. never liked this house and we hope to move next year.

millcottage

don't think the web address I gave work. This one might...

you OWN that cottage! that is gorgeous! are you going to still rent it out or keep it all to yourself and live there?

oats, that cottage is gorgeous, good for you

and i ahve to say, everything you have said about mw is how i felt about nursing. its so fucking sad, but at least you can be proud you have finished the course. even just having the qualification will be handy for other stuff.

big well done

how is ds btw? cant believe he is nearly 5!

Yep, it's ours. I haven't had my mum's inheritence yet, but got £17k from a life insurance policy which went towards buying the place. We probably won't move up there as dh would find it too difficult to get a job up there as there are only 2 major media agencies in manchester and probably the same amount in birmingham. Also, he's speaking to one of the directors about going on the board of the company he's working for at the mo, so I think he's looking forward to that challenge if it comes off.

oh, ds is so wonderful! I read that article which someone posted about the woman's kids boring her. Although I've never liked the small talk associated with bringing him up, he has never bored me. Like tuesday night for instance. After the lecturer didn't turn up for college, I was in time to come along to my BF's son's birthday party at a nearby leisure centre (I'd already dropped ds off at her house). I helped her tidy up, had tea with her and set off from her house at around 6pm. The traffic was horrific in slough that day and it took an hour and a half to get us home.

I was being a bad mum and effing and blinding about how frustrated I was with the traffic and he just looked at me, smiled, and said "live with it mummy..." It's what I say to him when he's having a paddy about something he can't have.

And I thought, what goes around comes around. So let's see what happens to this woman's boredom of her kids in about 20 years time!

How old are your's now? Are they enjoying school? DS goes full time in September. Where'sthe cheapest place to get uniform?

LOL i dont know anything about uniforms, dd1 is 4 in oct and dd2 is 2 in oct

dd1, my little lady, starts pre-school in august, she has a little shirt with the school's name on it and cant wait to wear it

dd2 is fantastic as well, starting to talk loads, copying everything her big sis does

they gang up on me one minute and then fight like lions the next

i have a new job as a phlebotomist sat and sunday mornings, finish at 11am, its great, and i sometimes do the odd barmaid shift at the local boozer (which i love! lots of socialising)

DS sounds like a lovely little gentleman, a credit to you. bet hes handsome too

and again that cottage is BEAUTIFUL! (pity you are not renting it out, i would be very interested!)

I AM RENTING IT OUT NP! lol. (Mates rates available so contact me privately...)

I forgot your kids were so young!

Yep. Although ds's been at school for a couple of hours a day for the last year, he hasn't had to wear a uniform, but this year, going full time he will. And you can rest assured that I will be blubbing my eyes out on his first day at proper school.

gotta go for a while as I've just had a row with husband who's complained that I have not paid the cheque in from someone who's renting the cottage in august. We only got the cheque on monday, was in slough all day tuesday, spent until 3pm yesterday cleaning (and all morning on MN so far... so will have to go and pay it in...)

oatcake- that cottage is out of this world, would be interested in hiring early next year without a doubt, is that your contact details on there or the previous owners?

hi oats, sorry, had to go and do lunch

do you still have the same e mail address? i think i have it, i might contact you about the cottage

cheerio for now, np x

the contact details are ours. dh is a web guru, hence good website.

did you start midwifery tiredemma? Last time I spoke to you, I think you were thinking about it?

NP actually contact me through website as I think my email address might have changed. will check my profile now...

no oatcake, i changed my mind- Im doing Nursing instead, decided that the are lots of opportunities in nursing, whereas i was worried that, if i did midwifery and didnt really like it, id be buggered!!

will contact you via your website, but will be for next year if thats ok, what a fantastic cottage, it looks amazing!

oatcake, dh says its too far (about 6 hrs drive) and as you can see from

here

ive tried numerous modes of transport and its all too complicated

maybe if the dd's were a bit older

ah, luckily, ds's been used to long drives since he was a baby as I used to drive up to stay with my parents every few weeks when he was born and that's a 3 hour drive away without break.

you could break it up by staying half way as part of your hol?

are you happier up there now than fife? It is a bloody long way out! I think we stopped at aviemore briefly in 1998 - it was pretty much closed! There was, as I remember, a wooden supermarket???

tiredemma. good move. I knew that I did not want to be a nurse - only a midwife. The job's fab as the women are (mostly) wonderful. It's just the shit that comes with it...

do you think it's worth putting an advert on mumsnet? I'll speak to dh about it later.

Anyway, off to the docs now as I've had an intermittent sore throat since may. Initally thought it was the hayfever, but it just doesn't go... it's always lurking. Last night it was very painful, today, it's gone again (say gone, but am aware of slight discomfort...)