Feeling so alone

[Theo2005]

I have gorgeous baby boy, yet never felt so alone and lost. I feel like I'm bring constantly judged, I don't have the solutions, I'm a bad parent. I just don't know want to do or who to turn to. My little mans smile and giggle is the only thing that gets me through

Sorry to hear you feel alone and lost how old is your little boy?

My little boy is 6 weeks and I'll be honest and say it's only this week that I've started to feel ok and that I can cope.
I love him to bits but the first 4/5 weeks were really tough as it's such a big change (plus I couldn't get out as had a c-section).

I had a bad cold still on Mon so we stayed in but since then we've been somewhere every day which I've found has really helped. Can you get out each day?

We did the following;

Mon - home as I had a cold but dh finishes at lunch.

Tue - went to Tesco

Wed - my postnatal check at GP combined with a stroll around the village

Thur - popped into work to show ds off

Fri - took ds to see my nan and aunt.

So a lot of my week was doing things that had to be done but just leaving the house was great.

Do you have any friends or family you can visit?

Are there any groups in your area? I plan to try some next week.

Can you wander round the shops/park/town?

Perhaps ask your hv for local groups/activities?

Good luck - you're not a bad mum it just takes time to find your feet xx

Sorry forgot to add - can you speak to someone in RL? Mum, a sister/friend, a partner? What about your hv or local children's centre?

Be kind to yourself xx

D's is 7 months, I go to a couple of groups trouble is I find them to be v clicky and a competition to what their baby's can do.

My friends are currently going through divorce and separation as a result have moved away.

Tried talking to my mum she just said it would past prob because ds is going through a stage of not sleeping.

I'm snapping and auguring with dh at any little thing.

Just don't know what to do, want to loose weight before my 30th but lack motivation. This just makes me feel even worse

Sorry I know I'm rambling

The fact that your little man smiles & giggles means you're getting stuff right. Don't be so harsh on yourself.

I found baby groups exceedingly clicky too. Just rise above it & make a beeline for any dads or grandparents that appear, thy usually feel as lost as you do! I also found that if I signed up for a set of sessions, like a rhythm time or baby sign or something the clickiness was better than the free groups - but obs that depends on disposable income.

Chin up chuck, deal with one thing at a time & park the rest. Enjoy your little mans giggles x x x

I am going to hazard a guess that everyone thinks they are a bad parent and doesn't have all the answers. Some people are just better at hiding it.
Can you give yourself some time out? Go out for a cooffee or the gym if you want to loose weight. It might just take your mind off the worrying and aloneness.

As for snapping at your dh... I don't think I spoke to mine for nearly a year. When we were both at home, one of us was normally asleep. I worked on the rule that he wasn't going anywhere so I'd see him then we got through the crazy months (2 years in, those times have passed).

Kx

I found 4-7 months so much harder than the early stages. Now DD is 9 months and it is so much better! 8 months was just lovely! Her sleep settled a bit and they are so much more interactive. Now she can move it's presenting all sorts of new challenges!

It's hard to make friends you can actually confide and share stuff with I've found. Keep going to groups, look on mumsnet local for any meet ups in your area, try local museums if there are any near you as some have children's stuff. Also look out for exercise classes you can take your baby to. Even something you wouldn't normally go for, just to meet others. Although exercise is the last thing you probably feel like doing, I've found it helped me sleep better in those rare chances you get to sleep.

It will get better. If your baby is smiling then you are clearly doing everything right. Big hug.

I found 4-7 months so much harder than the early stages. Now DD is 9 months and it is so much better! 8 months was just lovely! Her sleep settled a bit and they are so much more interactive. Now she can move it's presenting all sorts of new challenges!

It's hard to make friends you can actually confide and share stuff with I've found. Keep going to groups, look on mumsnet local for any meet ups in your area, try local museums if there are any near you as some have children's stuff. Also look out for exercise classes you can take your baby to. Even something you wouldn't normally go for, just to meet others. Although exercise is the last thing you probably feel like doing, I've found it helped me sleep better in those rare chances you get to sleep.

It will get better. If your baby is smiling then you are clearly doing everything right. Big hug.