Sleep woes

[pinky17]

Hi there

Am new to this but am hoping for some 'real opinions' as all the websites I've read just aren't helping!

I have a beautiful 3 month old girl who never wants to sleep without a fight! Before christmas I got desperate and stupidly allowed her to co-sleep in my bed with me and my husband which she loved and meant we got about 6 hours sleep! For a bit of respite this continued until tonight where I was adamant she'd go back into her moses basket but to no avail. It's been an evening of screaming and it's heartbreaking! I know I've made a rod for my own back by starting the co-sleeping but tiredness well and truly kicked in and it was a last resort.

As well as this she rarely naps during the day. I do everything by the book then when she's almost asleep I put her down and she wakes. She seems to only nap when she's cuddled. I therefore cuddle her until she's sound asleep to prevent her getting overtired. She sleeps in the car and in her buggy when we go for a walk but wakes as soon as the motion stops.

Should I let her cry it out when she's so young? She's so clever she seems to know that by getting worked up with crying I'll eventually give in.

Any suggestions or your experiences would be hugely appreciated.

From a new mum who wants her bed back!

Xxx

From someone who's DD didn't sleep through till almost 2yrs, I say do whatever you can to get you through. Our DD spent many a desperate night in our bed and still does if she has a nightmare and can't get back to sleep. I was always very worried it would be habit forming but she's always gone back to sleeping in her own bed no problem once she's over whatever what was bothering her. Try not to worry about it too much, 3 months is still so tiny.

One other thought....a friend of mines DD would only nap if she had motion so they used to put her in a baby swing. Was a lifesaver for them...and she eventually grew out of needing the motion.

Why do you want to stop co-sleeping now?

Hi all

Thanks for your replies.

There are 2 reasons I'd like her to try and get LO back into her moses basket, firstly for myself and my husband to have more room and comfort in bed and secondly to potentially make it easier for LO to move to her cot in the future. Her moses basket is up against my side of the bed and even though she can see me, hear me and often has hold of my finger, it's not enough. She's already very independent during the day, she often likes to lay on her mat having a kick and grabbing at her toys, yet when it comes to sleeping she can't stand to be on her own.

I guess I'm just worried that once she's old enough to sleep in her own room she won't want to. It's also resulting in her having later nights than advised because she goes to bed when me and my husband do, usually between 10 and 11. We therefore don't even get an hour together to have a conversation!

If there are any other mum's who have co-slept and gone through the transition to cot, how was it and what did you do to soothe your crying baby?

I started DS in his big cot at 10 weeks he liked it better that the basket slept much better, I rocked him to sleep the put him in his cot even night then he slept with us once he woke for a bottle. Once he started to sleep through he just stayed in his own bed because obviously he was sleeping. I remember reading it's an easier transition if they start in their own bed as they are still used to it.

The rocking chair was a godsend for getting DS to sleep knocked him out, I also put a thick blanket under him between us so when he went in the cot he didn't feel the cold sheets. You just need one big enough to tuck down the side so she doesn't get wrapped in it

I think you're worrying about what might happen far too much rather than concentrating on what's going on.

I have 2dc. Neither has ever slept in their Moses basket, not even for 5 mins! DS was the worst, woke every 45 mins for about 5m. At about 6 weeks I gave up and coslept. He still woke but quickly became able to latch himself on and off to sleep I went! I transitioned him to his cot at about 5 months and tried PUPD with no luck and a lot of distress to us both. He slowly just adjusted. By 8m he was sleeping through in his own cot maybe 4/5 nights.

Dd is 8m. I've been far more relaxed about things and coslept from the start. Started to gradually move her to her cot about 5-6m and she now sleeps the whole night alone, waking once or twice usually for a quick cuddle. Basically around 3m I started taking her up at bedtime (630) for bath, feed, bed. Initially putting down asleep (waiting 10mins after sleep before putting down) then slowly starting to put down drowsy, and now she'll go down awake with a bit of patting in the cot. I'd bring her into bed at increasingly late times, so to start I spent ages settling and didn't bring her to bed til midnight, then extended it to 2am, then 4am, then moved out.

Please don't leave a 3m old baby to CIO. All she's trying to do is tell you she needs you, she's not manipulating you. Stop seeing it as giving in and give yourself credit for meeting her needs. Throw away whatever books are telling you that it's wrong to go to her. You are not making a rod for your own back, truly.

You could try a cosleeper cot, but tbh if I were you I'd work on getting her down in the evenings and enjoy cosleeping the rest of the night.

I'd strongly recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution for good practical advice and reassurance that everything you've described is entirely normal.

I think that's part of my concern, LO spends the whole night in our bed she won't even contemplate her crib or cot even for an hour! I'm going to try and at least get her to nap in her cot during the day so she is familiar with it. This has proven to be a bit challenging this week although she managed 40 minutes on Thursday!

It's funny though because I took her to my mum's today, my mum wrapped her up and settled her down on the sofa and she went flat out for 2 hours so I know she's capable of doing it! She just doesn't seem to want to do it quite so easily for me!