What do you do when another child pushes your child?

[lottytheladybird]

My DS1 is 3.5 years old. I took him and my DS2 along to a music class today. As soon as we walked in the door, the boy (4 years old?) in front pushed DS1 into the wall. DS1 was really upset by it and just wanted to leave, understandably. The mother of the boy who pushed my son made her son say sorry, but didn't say anything to either my son or myself. I would have expected the mother of the other boy to have at least enquired about my son, as he was visably distraught.

It's not the first time my sons have been pushed by other toddlers. It makes my blood boil when the parent of the child who pushed my son(s) don't deal with it. I don't want my sons to push back, but at the same time, I don't want them to think it's ok to stand there and be pushed by other children.

What do you do when another child has pushed yours?

Push the bugger back! Uh no not really.

Push and shoving is pretty common amongst toddlers/preschoolers, but in instances where I think someone has pushed my son or being overly nasty towards him (he was a very shy toddler, more confident as a 4 year old now, thankfully) If the parents weren't there I would speak to the child involved directly and point out that shoving is not acceptable.

However, if the mother was there and made her child apologise I would think that was enough. I wouldnt' expect her to apologise to me or my son on her childs behalf (she may well be mortified at her childs behaviour and trying to avoid eye contact!) I think, making her child acknowledge the wrong in his behaviour is enough for me.

If the situation was reversed I would apologise and check the child was okay, but that's me, I understand that others may deal with this kind of confrontation differently and as long as the child was told to apologise I think I'd be satisfied.

Um - realise this is what little kids do and unclench really. The other mother addressed it with her child. It is totally unreasonable to expect her to come agrovelling.

You tell your child to push back and say a firm no.

To be absolutly honest. I never did anything. It never used to bother me. Children will be children and they do push each other. It's just a part of learning boundaries and growing up. xx

I think that by making her child apologise the other mother was dealing with it - I wouldn't really expect more than that.

I speak to the child who pushed. I say, no, we don't push.

Ds pushed a girl at soft play today. I went straight over to apologise to parents and then gave him a time out. The girl's dad was lovely but her mum was so sourfaced that I wondered why she took her pfb out in public.

At this age I deal with it for them, if the parent of the other child deals with it I leave it alone. If the other parent isn't around I either remove my child and go elsewhere in the soft play / hall etc or say nicely to the other child something like. 'it isn't nice to push'.

I don't want them to learn to push back at this age, when they are older and they are playing in the playground I want them to be able to walk away and tell someone if another child is being rough etc. I would prefer for them to do this until they can judge what the response to an action should be, walk away, stand up to someone etc but to avoid a physical reaction. I think it is modelling behaviour that you want them to copy, how to deal with others and be assertive but not aggressive. It's a work in progress though.

Do you believe the other mother dealt with it or not, OP?