Should I make her?

[Notsoyummymummy1]

My dd is almost two and we go to a weekly toddler gym session which is like a glorified soft play but she enjoys it very much.
She is a very lively child and it's a great outlet for all her energy.

The only problem I'm having is that twice during the session they do a group activity where they are rewarded with a sticker. All the parents and children have to sit in a circle to be told what the activity is. Every single time my daughter will not sit with them or do the activity - she wants to carry on with whatever it is she is doing eg climbing something or jumping on the trampoline. The previous instructor let this go but now we have a new instructor who holds up the entire class until I bring dd over. This doesn't really achieve much as she disrupts the class far more when I have to drag her over kicking and screaming and fights me when I try to get her to sit down and when I try to get her to do the activity. Consequently what should be fun turns into something stressful for both of us!

I am ashamed to say I do wish she would behave like the other children and I feel like the other parents must think she's a brat and I'm useless. I think DD knows what she's meant to do she just doesn't understand why she can't just carry on doing what she is enjoying.

I suppose what I'm asking is - should I be making her toe the line at this age and if so - how the hell do I do it? DD is a bright, lovely little girl but very strong willed as I guess they all are but I don't want her to be spoilt. Would it really be so awful to let her do her own thing at this age? The instructor says she needs to learn but then she is a childless 21 year old!!!!

Advice much appreciated x

Personally I think the instructor is expecting too much, and also demanding that you achieve in her class a behavioural lesson that takes months / years sometimes to get across to little ones - "do this now please, because Mummy says to". She is at prime tantrumming age and of course you'll have problems achieving this. If your dd is the only one in the class behaving like this then the other mums there are very lucky! It's rather hard when the instructor is making such a point of waiting for her to come over, but I would probably ask the instructor politely not to make such a deal of it if she doesn't come over. After all, you're probably playing for the class?! Not that that's the point, even if it's free of charge. My ds1 has gone to football classes since he was nearly 3yo, and getting them to pay attention and sit down was a challenge for the instructor! He wisely didn't push them overly at that age and now at the age of 5yo they all sit and do as they are told and follow instructions. She sounds like someone who doesn't have / hasn't had small children!

Blimey! 2 year olds aren't meant to sit quietly, they're meant to play. Completely unrealistic expectations.

Too much! DD is the same age and there is very little chance of her sitting still in the situation. She can probably just about understand the suggestion of sitting = sticker, but it would depend if the sticker seemed more interesting than the trampoline.

You could try the whole "Mummy really needs you to sit down for a minute" routine as I would probably expect DD to do that maybe 7/10 times if I asked her to do something. But I would push it if she didn't want to sit down.

How can you make her? If she won't do it with a bit of encouragement and just from wanting to join in and see what's going on, then you'll just have to let her run for now.
my DS was like this when he was that age. We went to an gym class that was very much the same, mostly free play with a couple of structured parts, singing songs with actions etc.

After trying lots of things including sitting on him I gave up trying to get him joining in and just left him too it. no one seemed to mind.
Despite being a very happy, affable boy (8) he's still not great at taking instruction, and always has lots of questions first.

Your dd is tiny and totally normal. The instructor is an idiot. If the instructor is holding the class up could you try a big smile and saying "Please go on without us, we'll be along in a moment." The instructor might not like it, but they can't do much about it."

I would be most appalled at the instructor saying she "needs to learn". I'd be tempted to respond with my most patronising tone and saying "Oh dear, you haven't worked with this age group before? Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get a better idea of what to expect at different ages when you're more experienced."

I took my DS to something similar and he was a nightmare but they carried on regardless and I joined in with him when he would cooperate - I can see how you would feel awkward & embarrassed by them waiting for you so either change class or ask them to carry on whilst you settle her

Don't make her - she's far too young. At 3 you'll have much better success with this sort of thing.

My DD was just like this. I used to always feel like the only parent who couldn't make my toddler conform.

I carried on with some things, abandoned those that stressed me out too much.

I am delighted that this week she has started Reception (very happily) and today skipped off to her first ballet lesson, joined in the whole thing (door was closed, I didn't see!) and apparently did everything asked of her.

So they change. I never thought she would!

Far too young. SPeak to the instructor, explain she is just not developmentally ready for that, and if she is going to make it a 'thing' then clearly she doesn't really know enough about child development to be leading the group. If you leave, seek out the manager of the centre and explain what has made you leave, otherwise nothing will change for the future children either.

DS is almost 2 and if he sat in a circle doing a structured activity I would give him a bloody gold medal never mind a sticker!! I think at 2 years old they should be able to do what they like play wise they have a whole life of doing nursery, school and work to be told when and how to do things they should enjoy the freedom while they can.

The structure of meal and bed times is enough for that age.

Thank you all for your reassurance and advice - it's easy to feel like you're doing something wrong but now I know it's just her age and it's normal. Will feel much more confident next time we go to resist the pressure to try to get her to conform. Thank God for Mumsnetters!!! xx