Why is underfeeding a child counted as abuse, but overfeeding not?

[Gemmitygem]

A friend and I were discussing this the other day..

Why is it abuse to withold food from your child so they are underfed/underweight, and you can be prosecuted for that, but NOT abuse to overfeed your child till they get obese?

(assuming that there are equally adverse health risks to the child from both).

It's an interesting one!

Also, you dd seems to already do a lot of exercice. much more than most of us do.
If she is putting on weight as a bit too much compare to her normal development, perhaps it is the sign of something else. Is she worried by something ? Stressed, becoming self concious ?
Overeating is often the sign that something else is happening. It is more usefull to tackle to real origin of the problem.

I think it stems from babyhood and if you teach your child how to eat when young it will be ingrained.

I once had an argument with a woman who thought nothing of giving her newly weaned 9month old crisps at lunch time. I told here my child will never have these until he comes across them and she laughed at me telling me how cruel I am.

I dont see the point of giving a child rubbish food until they come across it as usually if they dont have a taste for it they dont want it. When my son turned 1 he was given a chocolate cake which he turned his nose up at. Because he just didnt like the taste and good on him. It was his choice and even now he is 20months he only eats at handful of rubbish foods when others give it to him. Most stuff he just throws away as he hasnt learnt to like them.

Advertising is also to blame for example these new chocolate breakfast straws amongst all the other crap laden breakfast cereals parents are conned into believing they are giving their children a healthy start. My son has some fresh cooked oats with different fresh fruits and loves it and so do I. I dont feel guilty for being "mean" he is also very healthy and doesnt run around with a snotty nose which is also accepted as the norm.

I diagree strongly that being overweigh is just a tendency to overeat and not a mental problem.

The reality is that many (I don't say all) people who are overweight from childhood have a combination of genes that predispose them to put on weight and also a way of relating to food which is about comfort etc rather than fuel.

Put these two things together with a lack of exercise and a society where food is freely available (in fact pushed on us) and obesity is an almost inevitable result.

I really do think that the focus many of us put on junk food is a bit of a red herring where obesity is concerned. It is related because many people find junk food tastes nice and prefer to eat it over 'healthy food. I don't say this is healthy - but I know many slim people who survive on junk food and I know many overweight people who eat a very healthy diet - they just eat too much of it.

If it were as simple as junk eater = fat and healthy eater = slim it would be much easier.

I also don't believe that in principle how often you eat affects how overweight you are, however I know that if I eat more than three times a day I put on weight. That is because I have an inability to eat small amounts - once I start eating I find it difficult to recognise when I am full so I find it hard to stop. Eating three times a day reduces my temptation to overeat - everyone is different.

lazycow, that's really put! Totally agree with you. As always, it is a little bit more complicated and summarizing the problem to bad diet + no exercice is too simplistic.

Just to throw another comparison into the pot, its illegal to get your child under 5 hooked on alcohol or cigarettes, but not onto bad eating habits...I think attitudes will change and parents will be blamed more in the future, as people become more aware of the risks of a lifetime of obesity.

great replies!

I do think marketing/advertising and the food retailers have a lot to answer for. I used to work in branding/marketing, and the pure evil of the strategies they use is hard to believe. For example, one fast food company specifically had a strategy to convince kids of 8-11 to take control of their pocket money and feel all grown up: how? By buying themselves meals or snacks on the way home from school at this particular fast food brand's restaurant. (they sell chicken if that gives you a clue). So it was deliberately taking the child's desire to feel grown up and be independent, and using it to peddle them crap food. The other worrying trend is the upsizing of packets of sweets, supersizing soft drinks and creating many more 'bucket' or 'tub' products, where you end up eating more. I don't think it's that parents spoil kids more; they just didn't have those kinds of formats and products available in the past... though agree activity levels also play a major role..

I am a community nutritionist and I think that overfeeding is tantemount to neglect, just like underfeeding is.

Yes it is bloody hard with the availability of cheap 'junk' food, but the long term health implications of being obese are very worrying.

why is leaving a child to fend for itself abuse but never leaving it for one minute isn't?

there needs to be a common sense police

Yes dinosaur, and my very chubby 3 year old dd!! She constantly complains she's hungry all the time but I refuse to give into her, however, she still loves her food & is on the plump side. I will only give her fruit or rice cakes when she says she's hungry (think it's boredom myself) but I'm sure other mums must think I give her free access to the biscuit tin at home, this drives me mad as it's not the case! I have a degree in Nutrition and so should hopefully know what I'm doing!!

I had a Mum over for lunch recently and she started to comment on her 12mth old baby having fat ankles and worried a bit about her 6yr old's figure. Her baby does not have fat ankles and her 6yr old is very slim and tall. Now I can see years ahead for these girls of worrying about non existent weight problems and years of diets that are not needed.

I honestly was gobsmacked at this attitude. I have also heard my BIL say that he was ashamed of his daughter cos she was fat (she was probably the equivalent of a size 10 or 12). Again gobsmacked!!!

My DS is skinny and I would dearly love him to out on some weight although I am reassured by his doc that he is fine. He is highly allergic and as a consequence eats a very limited diet. he is also very fussy (another fall out from allergies).

Overweight children often have overweight parents. I remember once on the House of Tiny....a rather overweight mother with a rather overweight child was shown how much was normal for a child of her age to eat. She was truly shocked. Education could probably solve a lot of it but how can you educate a parent to see that their child has a perfect figure?

My daughter, now nearly 9, was breasfead for nearly 2 years, never had bought baby food and ate a wide range of foods...then along came a childminder who was an unrecovered anorexic and whose little girl didn't like eating. She had never seen her mother eat a meal. So...she wasn't allowed to have her yoghurt until she had finished her main course, and later told us that she had eaten until her tummy ached. She was also being given a 50g bar of chocolate after tea until we found out.

Result, 1 completely fucked-up appetite control mechanism, and a little girl who is 150cm and 50kg in weight. Buying clothes is a nightmare and she has been bullied at school. Unfortunately I had a thyroid problem that wasn't treated until my weight was double what it should be.

Trying to re-educate her appetite is very difficult and also trying to stop her comfort-eating is too. It doesn't help that she wants to be like me with a 'poorly throat'.

I feel very guilty, but we were feeding her healthy meals without chips, ice-cream, burgers etc and only found out after she left the childminder what had been happening as well as she had been given sweets and told not to tell us!!

So, it may not necessarily be the parents' fault.

I have read Michel Montignac's book on childhood obesity and now feel doubly guilty, having thought lean protein, loads of veg and limited carbs wouldn't do any harm.