Why is underfeeding a child counted as abuse, but overfeeding not?

[Gemmitygem]

A friend and I were discussing this the other day..

Why is it abuse to withold food from your child so they are underfed/underweight, and you can be prosecuted for that, but NOT abuse to overfeed your child till they get obese?

(assuming that there are equally adverse health risks to the child from both).

It's an interesting one!

Totally agree with you. We have a family situation like this at the mo that is concerning dp and I and we have tried to raise it with the parents but they just say puppy fat. I think it is well out of hand and am very surprised that the school hasn't commented at all.

My step-dd is like this too and her mother just keeps giving her cookies etc. If I thought ss would do anything about it I would report both. Especially as they are now weighing kids at school as obesity is thought to be so dangerous.

personally i consider them both to be. feel so angry when i see an obese child as it truley is one of the most sadistic things you can do to a child. they'll have to live with the consequences for the rest of their lives, and suffer the ongoing pain and ill health associated with obesity

I totally agree and have been saying this for years but how can a parent with an obese child not realise that it is totally their fault. Until a child has spending power we (parents) are totally responsible for what they eat. If you don't want your kids to eat be obese, don't buy crap food and don't let them veg in front of the TV/XBox or whatever.

Really interesting question, Gem!
I had an argument with an American ex-bf about this once because he didn't think it was possible for a parent to prevent a child from over-eating, if the child wanted to. I can see that it might be hard but then, given how drastic the solutions are to serious obesity (operations etc) surely even locking up your child would be less drastic than this?

I suppose it's just historical attitudes....

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if a child of primary school age was significantly over weight then they would be reffered to various agencies.

i think they would assume it was that the parents were in need of some extra help and guidance rather than they were doing it deliberatly to cause harmt o ythe child.

abuse is becasue you are knowingly causing harm to the child.

some parents will feed a child through love as they dont like to say knwo and are simply ill informed.

I'm not sure but i think it should be, there is a young lad at my nieces playschool, he's 3 1/2 and very overwieght he finds it difficult to walk as his legs rub together, they couldnt let him participate in sports day because of his weight he has sores under his arms and under his neck, its really sad he doesnt realise obviously but you think the mother would try and sort it out. they live near by its upsetting watching him play outside especially in the summer.

I totally agree that overfeeding is a form of abuse in a way.
I have always been overweight since a child, never be obese exactly but over normal weight. I was so sick of hearing that it was just "puppy fat"...sorry no such thing!

I know that my weight is now my responsability but I don't feel that I was given the best chance in life of being a healthy weight.

I'm very conscious about what I feed dd's and never allowed to help themselves in the kitchen.
dd1 is 3 1/2 and still have cupboard lock on

Yorkshire lass, how can a 10yo be size 22? That is simply atrocious and the responsibility has to lie with those buying whatever it is she is eating.

I think Gemmitygem, you can do more damage & a child would die quicker from being starved than overfed. I agree that over feeding is harmful & very bad for a child, but it is usually done through ignorance or at worst neglect, rather than an actual desire to harm the child.

My 2yo DTS help themselves to fruit like apple and grapes. That is healthy and I actively encourage them to make healthy choices by making it available as well as eating it myself. It is up to us as the adult to lead by example.

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I had a chat with a child psychologist about this recently and she said that part of the problem is that parents don't want to be parents to their children but be more like friends iyswim.

It stems out of guilt in not being able to spend as much time as they would like with their kids due to having to work out of the home ect and so they are reluctant to enter into arguements about food and tv ect because they feel like they have limited time with the kids. She also said that children of around 10 had more disposable income(ie money to buy crap) than they should because parents give them money out of a sense of guilt. I thought they were very interesting points and worth keeping in mind with my dd.

Prader Willis Syndrome is when you always feel hungry. This and thyroid problems accounts for less than 0.1% of obesity cases. Most are due to ingesting too many calories for the level of activity undertaken. Therefore, imo, the majority of parents are responsible for their overweight children, be it through neglect or ignorance (the ignorance one I struggle with because of the amount of free information that we are bombarded with about eating healthy)

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Underfeeding will kill a child faster. And overfeeding really does seem to be ignorance, sometimes. I think some parents just don't see how heavy their kids are.

Although the growing obesity problem is very worrying, and I wouldn't want to detract from its seriousness in any way - I do think comparing it directly to parents underfeeding - effectively starving their children - is a bit facile. The two are not the same kind of problem; overfeeding is VERY rarely the result of deliberate cruelty, and is not in the same league in terms of the speed and severity of the consequences. IMO.

X-posted NQC, sorry

This thread is quite apt because how we look after our health was the subject of a speech by Tony Blair today, here

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Yes, underfeeding a child is normally malicious, over feeding is just ignorance or stupidity IMO.

But at 10 year old in size 22 Yorkshirelass. Didn't know she was quite that big. Poor girl.

In some ways though, the difference means that overfeeding and its ensuing health problems are more of a "social problem" - ie everybody's business and a matter for public concern - whereas people starving their kids deliberately is more of a rare criminal anomaly. If it's ignorance and stupidity at the root of the childhood obesity problem, then at least there's a lot we can do about it, collectively. Cruelty is a bit more intractable.

obesity is also linked to exercise though isn't it? My DS is 5 and has a healthy appetite, was 9 lb 10 oz at birth (not that I think this is relevent), was a very podgy toddler and is now skinny as a rake with age 5 trousers too big round the waist. Since school finished on Friday he has watched half hour of golf with his Dad and half hour of Mr Men vid while DD was in bed and I wanted him out of the sun for a bit. He has spent several hours playing football, been to local country park twice (3rd time today!), had running around water pistol fights, been to his swimming lesson, been dragged around Tatton park flower show, been to soft play with his childminder. That is why he is thin, he is burning up tons of energy - oh and the advantageous genes from DH. Although obviously I try feed him well also, but ice-creams have been fairly prevalent...

I agree with Greensleeves - saying that withholding food is abuse and overfeeding is not is an oversimplification. AFAIK the law distinguishes between abuse and neglect and part of that distinction is tied to the intentions. If you deliberately with-held food you could very well afford from a child in order to be cruel and with willful intent to harm - that would be abuse. Similarly if you force-fed a child things they did not want to eat with the same motivation - that would be abuse. If you were deeply misguided about nutrition, or too off your head on drugs to think about it and you didn;t feed your child sufficient - that would be neglect. I.m not sure it's ever been tested but there is quite possibly some scope for an argument that feeding children the wrong food out of ignorance or guilt - to the extent that it seriously damages their health, and possibly ignoring advice from doctors etc, would similarly be neglect.