First day home alone with baby

[bellerous]

So today is my first day at home alone with my 17 day old baby boy as my boyfriend went back to work today.

I cried last night and I've been crying today because I miss him and in scared I can't do this by myself.

Baby didn't sleep more than 2 hours last night and so far today he won't sleep and just screams if I try and put him down. I haven't even been able to make myself a drink I'm just say in the sofa where I've been since 9am rubbing his back.

I had hoped to take him out for a walk this morning but how am I supposed to do that if I can't put him down for more than 2 minutes to shower and get dressed?

A girl I know had a baby a week before me and she's posting pics on Facebook every day fully made up, hair done looking amazing going on about everything she's doing with her baby and how amazingly happy she is. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me as I haven't had time to wash my hair since Monday!!!

How do you find the time to do anything other than be with your baby? Will I ever be able up get dressed before 4pm???

15 days in here. It will not hurt him to cry for a minute or two while you shower. Make sure he is fed and dry, put him somewhere safe, shower and head out. Do not aim to go far. Mine sleeps as soon as he is in the fresh air. Remember to eat!

Also, do you have a sling?

Congratulations and good luck!

Your friend won't be posting the pictures of her cold cups of tea/over flowing nappy bin/all the things that are just out of reach when her baby finally falls asleep on her when she's in the MOST uncomfortable position!

It takes time to get into your own routines and staying in PJs all day IS FINE! But if you do want to get out then absolutely feed baby put him somewhere safe and get yourself ready. It used to break my heart to hear dd cry but sometimes you do have to eat/drink/shower/pee!

Poor you - it's early days and it won't go on for ever. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing - all babies are different. It doesn't really matter if you're not dressed yet
If baby is fed and changed it really won't hurt to leave him for 2 mins to make a cuppa. Have you got a sling - they work well for some babies as they can go everywhere but you have your hands free. Mine use to like being in a bouncy chair which I took round hte house with me so that again they were always with me, but I could do stuff.
Early days though I remember just sitting on the sofa feeding my DS who was born just before Christmas - I don't remember seeing day light for a while
Oh and don't be afraid to use people - if they want to come and see the baby, they have to make the tea/coffee etc!!

I remember this well when I had my first :) I was lucky if I made it out before 3 lol he did have terrible colic reflux and allergies tho so didn't help. Is it possible for u and ur bf to get up a bit earlier in the morning so u can get ur shower breakfast do ur hair etc before he leave for work? This is what I do as I know have 3 under 5 and one of those is at school so I have to b ready and out the door by 8! We get up at 6 ... Well I do dh dozes and is avaliable if one of the dc need us then when I'm sorted he gets ready for work and i take over with the dc. Ur lb is obv still v small so could b a while before uv had enough sleep to feel like u can do this but just to give u some light at the end of the tunnel :) also if babe likes to b held have u got a sling? It'll mean u can get sum fresh air make urself a drink do some housework etc whist keeping baby happy and close to mummy. I understand they r not for everyone but I have used them with all of my 3 and they have given me back my sanity so many times. Hang in there it gets easier and enjoy the cuddles they grow so fast x

Also ds1 used to settle for 5 mins in a swing chair so I could have a shower I used to put the chair in the doorway so I could c him he could c me do u have one of those so u don't have to do the getting up early would baby settle for 5 mins in one?

Gosh sweetie, you sound exhausted. I promise you, the BEST thing you can do is to go outside and both get some fresh air.

I have 3 kids, youngest now 2 years old. I was exactly the same as you with my first born - I couldnt bear to hear him cry. Baby no2, I let her cry a little, baby no3 I just knew that it wouldnt harm her at all to let her scream whilst I had a shower etc! Also, I had 2 other kids to deal with, so poor little sausage had to just get on with it whilst I was wiping bottoms etc.

Put your son somewhere safe (his cot / moses is best bet), then go have a quick shower and freshen up. Chances are, he'll fall asleep whilst you're showering, sounds like he's massively over-tired.

Then put him in pram and go for a walk - preferably to some shops so you can buy a trashy mag and some chocolate.

Oh, and ignore any other apparently 'blissful' pics on FB - I ended up coming off facebook entirely in the end due to everyone posting pics of their so-called perfect lives. Its a snapshot, not a reflection of reality. People can portray whatever they want posting pics on FB, its not always a true reflection of their life.

Congrats, sounds like you're doing a brilliant job of being a mummy

Take him into the bathroom and put him on a playmat or in a bouncy chair while you shower. Even if he's upset at being put down for a few minutes he'll be able to see you and know you haven't gone anywhere, and you'll feel more human for being clean and in new clothes! The early days are tough. Hang in there

Gosh this is still vivid for me. I used to put DD in her Moses basket and put her in the bathroom with me while I showered. The sound of the shower used to send her to sleep.

The biggest myth about motherhood is that all the other mums are managing just fine, that's not true. I have a 7 month old and I just got dressed five minutes ago :) and don't even ask about my hair, the crazed lion look is definitely going on today. Oh, and these trousers, that I thought were clean, have a line of sick from knee to ankle. It doesn't matter :) yesterday I was showered with full make-up and straightened hair by 10. You take each day as it comes.

Oh also, get your other half to make you lunch before he leaves on a morning.

Oh purr mines 7 months and I'm exactly the same just noticed I've got crud of some description all down the back of my top!

Don't worry you're doing brillantly!
Sod the housework, don't get dressed, just concentrate on your lovely baby. I'd much rather cuddle ds than wash up. It does get easier but until then don't worry!
xx

You've had some great advice here - everything I was going to say has been said!

I will add, though, that in the early days your job is simply to keep the baby alive. If you don't expect to achieve much more you won't be disappointed.

It isn't this tough for long. You find your way soon enough. Call in as much help as you can and ignore what other people are doing. They only put the good bits on Facebook.

Ahhhh. I had one of those first time. One that wouldn't settle, had to be held, always feeding. I thought it was me. It wasn't, the next one would settle and feed regularly, actually slept in two hour groups during the night rather than grizzling. I did exactly the same with both boys. I think she has a a child like my second, you have one like my first.

I wore DS1 for six months and showered in the evening. It'll get better I promise. Check out tongue tie. Consider a bottle at 11pm that your BF gives so you can get four hours sleep. You are not alone.

My DS improved massively at about 12 weeks and again at 16 weeks. He's 11 now and hardly cries at all

You can do this!! Everyone struggles in the early days, just some are more open about it than others.

My strategies with DS1 and now DS2 were/are:

Lots of snacks/water bottles on a shelf in the sitting room within reach of the sofa

Carry baby into bathroom, place on floor in view of shower, chat to baby all the time whilst washing/toileting - they will not break if you put them down for 5 minutes even if they cry the whole time

Get dressed immediately after shower in clean clothes top to toe - you will feel better. Let baby cry for another 2 mins while you do this, he won't explode

Use a sling - close/caboo is brilliant as baby can hear your heartbeat, feel warmth and smell you (and feed!) whilst you have hands free. Wear baby as much as possible to give you a break if he won't go down

Crying sounds much less bad in the open air - try to bundle him up in the pram and walk for 1/2 hour - you will feel better for fresh air and He may sleep, and even if not the crying won't break him. Try leaving immediately after a feed and change so he is less likely to be fussy. Even if you're in odd clothes just go out, no one is really looking at you or judging you, they're mainly worrying about their Own lives and issues just like you are!

DO NOT compare yourself to others or worry about being compared - every baby/mum is different and you will do the best for your baby. It gets easier in time.

Hth

Firstly, congrats on your lovely new baby! Secondly, please stop worrying. You will look back on these days when you had a teeny little baby with such nostalgia. They grow so fast.
Babies can go through a phase at 3 weeks and again at 6 weeks when they are quite whingy and you feel you can't get anything done. Though by 6 weeks you will be more accustomed to it and worry a lot less! As previous posters have said, he won't come to any harm while you get ready. And the fresh air will probably send him straight to sleep. Mine used to fall asleep before I reached the corner of my road.
It is intimidating being in sole charge for the first time. Many of us have been there, and the best advice is not to worry and try to go with the flow. And forget about what other mums are doing, especially on Facebook, and forget routines until at least 10 weeks. The Tv remote control, BB cream and Batiste dry shampoo will become your friends! Good luck.

I REALLY empathise! I remember getting up and deciding to go out, yet four hours later being nowhere near ready to go! But some really good tips on here - bouncy chair / swing / moses basket or whatever in the bathroom while you have a shower, and I naughtily found that a shower radio just made the crying / whinging seem a little less, shall we say, noticeable while I was in there, and the running shower plus radio noise did seem to soothe the baby too.

All the perfect shiny happy facebookers are probably struggling more than you - anyone can paint a false picture with posed snapshots. What are they trying prove? How fabulous everything is and how well they are coping? In my experience its because they aren't (which is fine! Because I don't think many truly do sail through tbh).

It will get easier. And dry shampoo is your friend!

X posts Corky. Batiste is the stuff of miracles!

Get everything gathered in a basket next to the sofa before your partner leaves in the morning: biiiiig flask of tea, snacks, magazines, tv remote, mobile, laptop etc.

Agree about getting washed and dressed before DP leaves for work so that you are ready to leave the house when baby has fed and have a bag ready at all times with change of clothes, nappies etc.

Also agree about a sling, it frees up your hands to get on with things.

Things do improve, it's very early days. Congratulations and good luck.

Aw it will get so much easier

Some mums do manage to put make up on and get out from the get go. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing to criticise.

Don't focus on them. You have bigger fish to fry!

First thing is to realise that your delicious ball of baby is going to be fine if you plonk him in a babyseat and jump in shower. He will probably scream. He will probably scream when you do it tomorrow, but likely less so. By day 3/4, I reckon he will not even murmur when you put him in the baby seat.

Get out for a walk. If anything like here, nice weather and the fresh air will do you both good.

It will be fine. By baby 2, you will honestly wonder what all the fuss is about!

He cries because he needs you! Hold him, put him on a sling and you will have a calm happy baby. Misery lies in fighting baby.

Apart from that yes, it is like that. I felt completely overwhelmed in the beginning, but it gets easier and better.

Feck the shower. Deodorant is your friend.

Just get out and freshen up later when DP gets home.

You'll feel great in the air.

It's so hard the first few times on your own. It gets better, promise.

Oh and yy to dry shampoo. And the only reason I EVER have any slap in is that I do it in 2 mins.

Your baby doesn't care if you are showered and made up so bollocks to it.
And stop looking and Facebook and judging yourself by looking at other people. You are alive and your baby is alive so far you're winning.
I second bouncy chair in the bathroom if you really hum badly other than that just see how many layers of deodorant you can squirt on.
I bought a long coat at this stage and had black pyjama trousers so i didn't have to get dressed before leaving the house. I was a slattern! But a year on and I am mostly clean and dressed and even made up with hair blowdryed.
You can and will do this and be fine.