One week old- only sleeps on our chest- petrified of co sleeping

[DirtyDancing]

Just that really. Our boy is doing very well, feeding great & very alert. But when it comes to sleeping he'll only sleep on our chest.

During the day he'll occasionally sleep in his Bugaboo bassinet, this varies from not at all, to 10 mins to 1 hour. He won't even close his eyes in the Moses basket!

Yesterday we went out in the car and he slept for nearly 5 hours (even through his feed and stretch time out of his car seat he was half asleep). So he can do it... But today I took him for a walk and as soon as I got home he woke up & was back on my chest to sleep. All day today it was chest or nothing.

I can handle this in the day time (mostly) but it's at night I'm so worried. We have resorted to co sleeping, very much against our best judgement. Last night we co slept fully with him between us both, and he had to be woken up after 3 hours for his feed! So it works but I am just so so worried about the safety aspect.

I've tried warming the bassinet sheet with a hot water bottle, tried the fisher price seahorse thing, feeding him v frequently in the evening to make sure he's full, holding his hand/ chest/ stroking his face when trying to settle and nothing works. He doesn't cry but it's wide awake and gets v agitated.

Do I just co sleep an be done with it? I'm tempted to spend £500 on a sleep consultant as I'm so worried, but it's money we can ill afford.

Any help, advice is v welcome. I just want my boy to be safe.

Agree with reading up on safe co-sleeping guidelines!

I did with DS from birth. You automatically curl round him to protect him, and just don't move in your sleep... But make sure he's on your side of the bed, not in between you and dh.

We loved our bednest, DD was the same (invest in a sling for the daytime if you haven't already). DD was too big for the bednest after 4 months so slept in with us for a while, but they're much more robust by that stage. If it suits your DC then do it now before you get so sleep deprived that co-sleeping is riskier

I had five kids.I am not much of an earthmother type.However,I did pretty much accidentally co sleep them all, for varying period according to each child. 18 months was TOO long, and caused ongoing problems- last child has never liked sleeping in own room, and now jumps in with siblings if he can.

I also think that nine weeks is a curious 'magic number' when they tend to settle down. No idea why.

Firstly, congratulations!

Secondly, he's so tiny. He wants to hear your heartbeat and be warm next to you because you smell so delicious. He doesn't know he's born yet. Don't worry. He won't always he like this. Then you'll muss it. Don't get a sleep consultant bothered nothing here to fix.

Thirdly, there smithing wrong with safe co sleeping. Read up, mitigate the risks, so it safely. I move too much and act out my dreams so it's not an option for us ...

Sounds exactly like ds for first 4 weeks. Then he just started sleeping in his Moses basket literally over night. So don't give up hope. Give it a few days before trying again. I'm sure some babies just like to be close for a while. Also ds preferred sleeping on his front, he had a very strong newborn startle that would wake him up.
I stressed for a few weeks about co sleeping but it really was the only way we would get any sleep in they early days.

I meant "thirdly, there's nothing wrong with co sleeping".

Nothing like a typo that looks like the opposite of what you were trying to say.

rpiitchfo good tip, hubby is in the spare bed tonight! It means I feel a lot safer co sleeping with baby. I ache from head to foot from sitting up with him on my chest lady night, think it's exhaustion! So more prepared co sleeping tonight!

All thanks for the tips and expressions of support that this is normal. The bed net arrives tomorrow (last one available to rent in Jan!) and I went to a sling meet today and got a Hana sling for tge day time. Feeling more positive today

I found that when i co-slept with my dd i never rolled or squashed her it was natural instinct that my husband and i ended up squashed on the edge of the bed with a newborn lying vertical! Dont worry they dont co-sleep forever and little babies want to be close for comfort and warmth it is the most natural thing.

I co sleep with DD & I managed to put this bed rail on my double bed here

I should say - the bed rail leaves a gap, so I have used a long pregnancy pillow to fill this gap as it is a risk otherwise

We had two just like yours! we battled for far too long and then gave up, bought a superkingsized bed and and single duvets. We've all slept beautifully ever since. I never thought we'd end up as co sleepers but we love the sleep!
I'd thoroughly recommend reading Three in a Bed : The Benefits of Sleeping with Your Baby, by Deborah Jackson. If not just remember most of the non western world co sleeps, so it can't be all bad.
Also try and enjoy the sleeping on the chest stage even through the sleep deprivation, it's magical and passes so quickly...

Great to hear you're feeling more positive Dirtydancing. Glad you got hold of a bednest hire and hope it proves helpful (mine arrives on Monday!) good luck!

excellent - good stuff dirty dancing

I was like you and again I recommend kicking dp out for a bit to increase your confidence while co-sleeping. I was so worried aboutabout co-sleeping but but now much more relaxed and enjoy a couple of hours of "three in the bed" each morning. Remember putting a baby in a cot/basket is very much a modern European thing, babies have coslept with their mums since the dawn of time and in the far East and Africa its still considered normal! Obviously precautions to be taken and as your baby gets less tiny and more robust you'll be less stressed.
My baby also refused to sleep in Moses basket. However by 2 weeksish we had him in there for a couple of hours each night, these days he lasts in his cot until between 5 and 7 am. I think it helped that my dh settled him in the basket each night (so he couldn't smell my breast milk!).
I swear that learning to breastfeed lying down (and falling asleep once he'd latched!) Saved my sanity in those early weeks!

My lil girl is now 8 wks up until last week she would not sleep in her Moses basket or cot. Being a first time mum I was afraid of co sleeping in case but we put her in a grow bag at the top of bed in between us lay our pillows lengthways so she has a whole little area to herself and the quilt is nowhere near her as we are further down bed. Works a treat for us even if she does wiggle to be smuggled to one of us in her sleep