Bad mother-can't get it out of my head

[Welshmum]

This keeps going round and round my head.
The other day I was out at a little party with my 22 month old DD. I offered her a cake and she munched it up and then spat it out. In a jokey voice I then said 'Ooooo you're a horrible child'and we carried on with our tea. A minute later a 'friend' of mine said in front of everyone that what I'd said was wrong, how I should never describe a child as horrible only the action, that it was bad parenting and I'd give her a complex. I know he's right but it's not as if I'd ever done this before - definitely not to his knowledge. It's not pattern ofbehaviour. He's made me feel so bad, I'm paranoid now that all my friends think I'm a bad mum, that actually I am a bad mum and I'm doing things unconciously to give my daughter a complex. Part of me knows this is daft but as I said I can't get it out of my head. Feels better to have written it down actually.

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How irritating! My mum does that all the time to me and I find it extremely annoying. Ignore!

I think he is far more likely to give a child a complex with this analysis - presumably it was in front of the child that he said it was 'bad parenting' - thereby drawing attention to what you'd said and putting it in her head that you DO think she's a 'horrible child' - whereas just passing over it would have been perfectly natural and your child wouldn't have given it another thought.

You're not a bad parent!

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That was so rude!!! What a load of crap, your child will have picked up on the tone of your voice.
E is scared for life then, we call her smelly.

THis was a fashion in teaching for a while and is now generally frowned aupon.

The idea was that ou musnt label a kid but I think it was a load of crap really. nayway it was horrible.

THink some parents spend so long explaining anr rationlising to kids that they must go mad. Kids arent rational!

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Can I just add that what every single child in this room would have picked up on is that your "friend" is an self-opinionated bore who had the singular lack of manners to criticise and belittle someone else in public. He has given YOU a complex and has therefore actually fulfilled his own inadequacies.

I personally think it's important to treat everyone properly not just children.

Stupid man...

Sometimes you just need to call your children names. It doesn't make you a horrible mum (or should I say a mum with horrible actions). It just makes you human (or should I say a mum with human actions). I mean, puhlease!! That man's kids will probably turn out to be rotten teeagers or boring old farts that work for the council thinking up new rules for hv's.

wouldnt think to much about it im for ever calling my 6 month ds my handsom little devil and he just laughs at melittle lines dont give children complexs now if you were calling her this day in and day out and acted serios then thats different but joking i like to think little onesgot more brains than us at times so they know a joke