Grandparents Dog & Toddler

[Tillyboo]

My in-laws have a Labrador who has shown, so far, a slight intolerance for our 2.5 year old daughter. On the whole he has been Ok but we have had one occasion of lip curling & growling when dd got too close to his bed and the 2nd occasion was when dd was running round the garden and the dog got excited and we think he nipped at dd's clothes. It happened in a split second & fortunately husband was right next to dd & scooped her up. On both occasions,it was denied that the dog had growled or nipped.
The grandparents cannot see any danger & have so far refused to accept that the dog could possibly bite by saying 'He won't bite'.
He is a trained gundog so he is especially tuned in to a preys distress - a toddler squealing & running around could be confused with that & trigger an attack. We have explained our feelings that we are terrified of dd being bitten or attacked and so have not visited as we get so stressed about it. There is no way we are going to put our dd in any danger but the grandparents are visiting this week (with dog) & it'll be the first one since telling them our concerns.
Has anyone got any advice please.

Yep, we are still reeling from it. It got worse but I don't want to go into too much detail. Suffice to say there is a lot of apologising to be done to us. Having said that, nothing will make up for what they have done, I feel so upset for my dh as the bil & pil made their priorities fairly clear.
I feel extremely angry and upset about the whole thing and my poor dh is so disappointed, upset and angry about the whole thing too. We just can't believe what a nightmare it's turned out to be.
Anyway, my parents are visiting (they were there the night of horrors too and are just gobsmacked by the whole experience) and we've had a lovely couple of relaxed fun days with our dd ... just how it should be.
Thanks to everyone for your support, advice etc.
I'll keep you all posted

Tillyboo, just read what happened and feeling so sorry for you. Can't believe your inlaws would put the dog first but there you go. It appears you've touched a raw nerve with them.
As someone who's child was on the receiving end of a dog bite (very close to eye)I'll be thinking of you and hope you get it all sorted.
Take care

Thankyou babyramone. Still no official apology from bil - don't expect one to be honest. He's single, lives with parents at 39 and is even more protective of dog. Called my dh an hypocrite for stroking the dog when dd was in bed. Said' How can you be nice to him when you won't let your daughter near him' ... then he punched my dh!

People say things that they feel when they are drunk when they otherwise wouldn't do - dutch courage I think they call it. So now we know where we all stand & what my bil thinks of me.

Alot of it is down to jealousy we've concluded. Very sad but a fact.

Dh is going to have to have a frank conversation and clarify our rules tho as we think they are trying to brush everything under the carpet. The attention sort of moved from the dog issue to the my dh getting attacked.

I know one thing, I shan't be forgiving anyone - still very, very angry

Tilly, my god!! Don't back down to them whatever happens! Good luck!

I think your in-laws are nuts. A dog doesn't need to properly 'bite' a toddler to do a great deal of harm. A play nip at toddler head height is very different to a play nip on an adult's hand. This doesn't make the dog badly behaved or nasty, it just makes it a dog.

DS (2.9) loves my parents dog and gets a great deal out of playing with him and taking him for walks. However, there is always an adult close at hand, and the dog and DS are separated if either of them seems to be getting a bit too excited. (Usually this is for the dog's benefit rather than DS's).