Thank you for all your kind comments, as I've said previously your words help so much. I haven't been on hear since January, yet today I've found myself hear, just because it helps, and thought I'd post an update.
We reached the original bail date, and the police contacted me to say they were extending it until the 25th April, and that the case is being presented to the CPS on the 3rd April. I'm assuming this will be the day that I hear if the case will be going to trial? The thought of it going to trial or not is surrounded by mixed emotions, however I'm attempting to accept that I don't know how I will react to the unknown, therefore trying my best not to worry about it, and stop myself from endlessly researching similar cases to find out what the outcome was.
As for my dd she's okay, we continue to talk, she requested that she has someone else other than me to talk to, which I have arranged and fully accept, and if anything am pleased that she has recognised that need. My second dd is also receiving support, nothing major just a point of contact, as for her this situation has had traits of what is felt in a bereavement, in that one minute he was hear and big part of our lives and the next he was gone. Both my older dd's worry about my youngest dd in that she doesn't or hasn't seen him since it happened, the way I respond is that my youngest dd who is 2, has us, and we are a team.
As for me, just cant believe we are now approaching April, in the last 3 months I've contended with reining in my emotions, functioning as a mum, functioning as a full time student, whilst dealing with him trying to contact me, and tell me he didn't know he did it, he was a sleep, and that my dd was being provocative.. this being said whilst his bail conditions state he isn't allowed near us, I have informed the police. I do feel better though as in I haven't cried in over 3 weeks, I did request emotional support, yet haven't received any, the one person who has helped me has been my best friend, she's checked on me every day, and I just know I'm lucky to have her, my family haven't really been any help, they don't ask how things are progressing, and really act as though nothing is going on, not that I want it to shadow every conversation it'd just be nice to be asked. As for him I don't miss him like I did, time does heal.
All I want now is to know where this is going to go, trial or not, if it is not, then I know he will be straight back on my door step. My next move will then be to get an injunction if its possible. If its going to go to trial then Ill be worried for my dd, however I know procedures are in place for children giving evidence in court, the part that scares me is that if she gives evidence first she is then not allowed to talk to me until I have given evidence, I wont be able to hug her when she comes out of court, that bits driving me insane, but I just need to let it go as I don't know which way its going to go.... Anyway, I'm wittering on, of all what I've said my focus does remain in that life goes on, and I will continue to do my best by my girls.