3-week-old baby cries a lot when not on boob - opinions please...

[RebeccaJames]

My 3-week-old baby doesn't cry much, because I pretty much put him to the breast whenever he whinges and fussed, regardless of whether he's hungry as I figure he feels safe there even just for non-nutritive sucking.

Today, though, I've tried doing more housework as I'm so much better after c-section and the baby just doesn't do alert time really. A couple of minutes is it, and then he starts to cry until I put him to the breast. DH and I both tried other things with him, like rocking and singing, but nothing but the boob will do.

DH has worried me by saying he thinks DS1 wasn't like that and DS2 must be a more grumpy or demanding character. This has taken hold in my exhausted brain. But I can't remember what DS1 was like at this exact age.

Is what DS2 is doing normal? Or should he be settling for cuddles for a while by now? I know I'm using the dreaded "should" word, but I'm worried now!

Any thoughts?

Obviously if DS2 is grumpy or demanding I will accept it - I just want to know if DH is jumping the gun. And,scared for what my life will be like over the coming months and how DS1 is going to get a look-in!

my LO cried when left at 3 weeks. A lot!! She was constantly on the boob as only place truly happy. It will pass,,,around 8 weeks in my experience, but all babies different.

3 weeks is still pretty new so personally I would find this normal behaviour, I also think there is a growth spurt around this time.

Would a sling help?

I'm not getting on with the sling for nursing (he tugs my nipple with every step!) and he won't settle for closeness so I am very much stuck in a chair.

But good to know this is normal behaviour. Hope he enjoys cuddles and rocking and singing soon, though! I am losing it a bit. He's 4 weeks on Tuesday.

It almost sounds like you're using your boob as a dummy. But that's fine, if you're happy with that.

It does sound normal to me though.

My second child took time to settle, he had nasty colic too. From memory it wasn't until 10-12 weeks old I could put him down. He was terribly clingy and quite a fussy baby. He's still cuddly now at almost 5 though! It does get better I promise. Try not to worry, it's comforting being close to you at this age.

Have my 3rd DC who is same age. She is currently giving DH a hard time while I try to ignore it. Even though I vividly remember this unsettled time that I am sure is age related, i agree that it is a worry. Constantly seems to want to be on the breast but not really all that happy there after a while.
As far as I remember it passes around 8 weeks if not before.
We will survive it, it isn't that awful, just feel bad that nothing we do seems to placate her.

My baby is nearly 3 weeks old (my 3rd) and from 11pm (when I'm ready for bed) until 4am (dying for sleep) she fusses at my breast. On. Off. On. Off. Whinge. Cry. On. Off. Ad infinitum. It is exhausting but I think she just wants a nipple in her mouth for comfort and gets cross when milk inevitably comes out of it but I remember it with my other two and it is hard and draining but it does pass. Wind also seems to bother her during this time and she will strain and cry which is odd as it doesn't bother her during the day. I just wish she would do her fussing at a more reasonable time ie when I don't want to sleep! It does pass, just make sure he's got a good latch so he's getting an efficient feed, it's all I can suggest really.

Yup, sounds fairly normal based on my experience too. Both of mine were complete milk monsters at that stage. I also think there's a lot to be said for thinking of the first 12 weeks as the "forth trimester", where they don't really know their born yet and just want to be a close to their mum as possible. As others have said, it will pass but it can be very demanding at the time.

Wow, thanks all. I feel reassured! Yes , he uses me as a dummy but if that's what makes him happy i can live with that for the moment. I figure it's where he feels happy and secure. i do joke that I need a third boob with no milk coming out, as he does overfill himself because of it. Tried a dummy for a couple of days and he wasn't having it!

He does fuss for the second part of the night, which is so annoying. Fussed for the boob and nothing else will do, but rejects it and squirms, ad finitum. Tried burping bug can't get to the bottom of that. I like the suggested theory that he 's cross milk is coming out. That makes sense! But all the more annoying that he refuses the dummy!

My LO refused dummy for a while but will now take it when she is tired (although I don't use one generally, only if she wakes before midnight to settle her). You could try again in a few weeks if you want to use one.

A dummy is a fake boob not the other way round! :)

3 weeks was a very intense feeding time for both my DC.

Much easier second time round as I had a sling that he would settle in for a while - I wonder if a different type would work for you?

Evening "cluster feeding" on/off/on/off as a previous poster mentiuoned is also very common newborn behaviour.

www.kellymom.com is a great site for advice on what is /normal' and all sorts of useful info.

Try putting in a sling on you the giving dummy with breast milk on it. Sounds bizzare but i figure its second best to the boob haha

Try putting you dc in a sling and then giving them a dummy with breast milk on it. Sounds bizarre, but i figure its second best to the boob haha