help needed for a routine that will work for a 4 yo and a 3 month old

[livinginhope87]

Hello, I really need some help. I have two dcs, my dd who is 4 and very demanding and intelligent. She is funny and kind natured but has a very strong will which leads to power struggles over getting dressed etc. She does go to preschool four morning a week from 9-12. I now have a lovely ds who is just 3 months and who is good natured but a bit clingy (i think due to being poorly for the first month) and wakes two times a night. He only really naps on me in the day. He is ff due to medical reasons. At the moment I feel I have no real routine and the dcs are suffering. I try and be ahead of the game but feel like I am failing. I would love any ideas on routine, discipline for my dd and general tips on how to be a better mum. I really want to have quality time with dd in the day but seems all I say is in a minute as I am doing things in prep for later or for the baby.

Thank you for reading.

Hi living
I've got a 3.6 DS and 12 week old DD, and don't feel I can give advice, but I can tell you what I do.
DS is also 'spirited' and since DD was born I feel like I am constantly just disciplining him, but I do chose my battles. Let all the little things slide for the moment, but still strict on your big things.
He is at preschool 3 mornings, so on those mornings i put DD in the sling and do boring jobs (cleaning/cooking/food shopping), but also get things ready for when DS comes home...

1. I make his lunch so when we walk in it is ready for us,
2. I get some different toys out in the centre of the lounge ready for him to play with so he has something 'new' to entertain him
3. I get stuff on the kitchen table ready for a planned activity for the afternoons each day (Monday is crafts, Wednesday baking, Friday go see grandparents)

On the days he's not a preschool we have toddler groups in the mornings, and the afternoons less organised play/activities (because I've not had time to prepare anything) and a bit more tv/DVD. I do very very easy meals at the moment. DD is in the sling nearly all of the time, even as I play/dress DS. I try to get DH to do as much as possible before he leaves for work (DS breakfast and dressing), and in the evenings when they're both asleep We do majority of cleaning/organising for the next day. I think the main thing I have accepted is this 12 months of two of them at home is going to be hard work but as long as we are all fed and relatively clean, then we're doing well!

When spring comes it will be easier. Baby in pram, 4 year old on swings and charging about and you on bench with take away tea.

Thank you for the replies it sometimes feels very hard to know if you are doing an ok job!

If they're fed, clean, sleeping ok most of the time, doing the odd constructive activity and if you're wearing clothes and not pjs and have shower once a day then you are doing way better than average.