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Dh is putting his foot down

5 replies

ellesabe · 01/01/2014 10:45

A bit of background...
Dd2 is 14mo and her sleep had been getting progressively worse since 6mo. She has always been good at getting herself to sleep at bedtime but when she wakes in the night I have always bfed her back to sleep (mainly to prevent her waking 3yo dd1). Dh usually stayed in bed, occasionally getting up to do a nappy change or to take over if I'd been up for over 1.5hoyrs with her.

A couple of weeks ago it reached a head as she was waking every 90 minutes and needed feeding each time.
We decided to go cold-turkey on night-time feeds and dh agreed that he would do night-time resettling as she would smell my milk and take longer for me to resettle.
She is much better now, sometimes only wakes once (but often awake for up to an hour), sometimes wakes 3 times but goes straight back to sleep after a brief cuddle.

Anyway, I think dh thought she would be completely 'sorted' already by now and he has just announced that he is 'quitting' because he is going back to work tomorrow and is sick of being screamed at in the middle of the night.

I have tried to gently point out that this is just an inevitable part of parenting (you'd think he'd know that by now!) and that I have had 14 months of disturbed sleep compared to his 2 weeks. But he seems resolute.

AIBU to be annoyed? What sort of a compromise can I present him with?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lotsofcheese · 01/01/2014 10:50

Perhaps your DP could do nights at weekends? That's only if you are SAMH. If you are both working F/T he is being massively unreasonable & you should take turns.

ellesabe · 01/01/2014 10:51

Sorry, should have said I only work Fridays.

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ellesabe · 01/01/2014 10:53

But I see Fridays as a rest as it's so much more relaxing than being at home with two small children!

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ITCouldBeWorse · 01/01/2014 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 01/01/2014 11:10

If she's now used to going back to sleep without bf (even if not always happy about it) then you could start to share the night wakings again? If he's not even prepared to do that my own response would be to point out that he is picking and choosing when to be a parent which is incredibly selfish!

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