Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

struggling with DC

8 replies

NiceGlassOfSherryAndASitDown · 31/12/2013 09:32

I'm sure it's just post Christmas stuff but both DC are really difficult to handle at the moment and I'm struggling with the noise aspect of it all. DD is 14 months and has pretty much clung to my leg, fed all night long and cried a LOT for about 3 months. she dropped her morning nap early at 9 month's and I'm pretty sure now she's walking she needs 2 naps again but she still relies on me to get to sleep but I don't have the time it takes to do it because DS needs me and will really play up if I'm not watching him like a hawk. he's nearly 3, wants my attention all the time, talks/sings/chatters literally all day long, asks the same questions over and over again whether he's had an answer or not, hums, recites rhymes and phrases and excerpts from books, he whines a lot and strops whenever he's told no. I've never given in to a tantrum, just ignore and then help him calm down when the angry part is over. DD is just crying this whingy cry all the time. I don't know if there's something wrong with me (auditory sensory problem perhaps) but the constant crying and whinging (especially when both are going at the same time) really affects me...I feel like I'm going crazy, get angry, want to throw things...I literally feel like my head is going to explode when there's so much noise going on. I get to the point I don't even want anyone to talk to me, I just want some peace. I crave quiet, my own personal space but any time I try and leave them even for a minute they become hysterical. Sad

I've been treated (hypnotherapy) for complex-PTSD this year, and also anxiety all due to a crappy childhood, but even so when I feel stressed I have no idea what to do..it overwhelms me. on the whole I'm trying to be a calm and patient Mum but the past few days have been so stressful it's escaped me somewhat. I meditate most evenings but am finding it hard to fit in in between chores and DDs frequent feeds. DH is great and does his share and more when he's here but works a lot, also because the DC are used to me they'll only be comforted by me. if they hurt themselves or are upset and he's holding them they'll almost throw themselves out of his arms to come to me.

I love my DC so much, they're both amazing and we'd really like more children, but I need to know why noise affects me so much and what I can do about it. I've been concerned that DS may have some kind of sensory disorder but now I'm wondering if some of it is me projecting - I was expected to be quiet my whole childhood so I wonder if my extreme reaction to prolonged crying/whining is down to this, normal anxiety as a parent or something else. any thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NiceGlassOfSherryAndASitDown · 31/12/2013 19:15

just bumping in case there's more traffic in the evening. have been researching misophonia and sensory defensiveness today...certainly seems like ag possibility. I can't stand being touched unexpectedly either, especially with a light touch and I've become unbearably ticklish since having children. perhaps I should go and find the 'parenting has affected my mental health' thread!

OP posts:
Queenmarigold · 31/12/2013 19:28

Sounds normal to me. Noise does my head in, you can't do everything for everyone all the time. I keep telling myself it'll pass and in a couple of years they'll play quietly together. Without arguing. Maybe.

DPotter · 31/12/2013 19:49

I hate noise as well - unfortunately for us, children are programmed to cry / whinge at just the right pitch to demand our attention so if you have more than one ...........
Your 3 yr old sounds absolutely spot on for a bright happy 3 yr old - my DD would ask why questions continuosly. Once counted 9 'why's on the trot each one answered fully in the end I just said 'I don't know' and guess what she said? yep - 'why'.

I had the same situation with DD - wouldn't take comfort from her dad at all if I was there but if I wasn't she was more than happy to go to him. I realise it's not a short term solution but is there a way you could go out for a walk or similar by yourself when DH is home so the children become more accustomed to him being the sole carer ?

Could your DD be having a growth spurt and need more solid food during the day rather than milk feeds ?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

NiceGlassOfSherryAndASitDown · 31/12/2013 19:55

thank you. no marigold you're right I can't, but how do we explain that to them? are all small children so intense?!!

OP posts:
NiceGlassOfSherryAndASitDown · 31/12/2013 20:03

dpotter of course they are, and I do know that. but I'll respond if they say my name too...I guess I just have to train them like dogs Grin

glad the questions are normal, he hasn't reached the 'why' stage yet thankfully, but he does like to narrate everything and repeat every question he's ever asked, thing he's ever mentioned if we're passing the same thing/doing the same thing again. I'm seriously regretting the endless chatter I put him through as a baby Angry
the plan was absolutely to leave DH in charge here and there. I can leave DS for a maximum of an hour before he gets very distressed and misses me, DD was fine until about 3 months ago when I think separation anxiety hit. it's wonderful to know she's bonded with me but I literally have her hanging off my leg all day long and she becomes hysterical even if I nip out for a few minutes.

I tell myself all the time they're only young once and it passes so fast, but I want to be able to handle things better when there's all the noise going on...I'm going to resort to earplugs otherwise just to get through the day with my sanity!

OP posts:
MrsDandBaby · 01/01/2014 03:01

It is hellish when you get crying and whinging in stereo but I would say they are both old enough to be Ileft with family to give you a break - the more frequently you do this the more they will accept it. My now 2.5 yr ds has always cried when left st childminders, but always stops when I'm out of earshot. You are not solely responsible for them - give others more opportunities to care for them and you will reap the. benefits

Whatnamenext · 01/01/2014 03:05

Just be kind to yourself. This too shall pass Smile

CooEeeEldridge · 01/01/2014 03:26

Wow, well done, you sound amazing! I couldn't have kids for exact the reasons you say above. Sounds like you'll be fine and you know exactly what to expect though! X

New posts on this thread. Refresh page