I cant cope anymore

[flame13]

Hi, I am a mum of 3, 7, 2 and 1, 13mth between the youngest and I am at breaking point.
I feel like I have had enough, I seriously cannot cope anymore, I have a partner and he really tries but the situation is getting to him as well.
I lost my mother very suddenly a few month ago,and ive not been able to grieve for her because I am trying to sort the kids. I am a only child and have no real friends to ask for help.
my 2 youngest are such hard work, the constantly fight, cry, scream, all day, everyday, its not just normal crying, its is like violent screaming, if people were to hear them I am sure the police would be called, they are that bad, everything is a fight with them, changing them, bathing the, getting them in and out the buggie, feeding them, they don't sleep in the day and every night is a struggle to get them to bed, theyre both light sleepers and the slightest noise wakes them, then they start again,
I am so tired now, I want to give up, my 7yr old has a medical condition that needs careful and constant monitoring, if it wasn't for her I think I would walk away and leave them,
I love them all dearly but I don't like them at the moment, I know I am depressed, my gp suggested talking about it, I don't want to talk about it, I want someone to help me with the kiddies and help me sort everything out.
my partner wont admit it, a man thing, but hes worn down too, I feel one day he will just up and leave and I wouldn't blame him,
please someone tell me what can I do, I don't want my kids to hate me and im not being the best mum I can be to them at the moment :(

Oh OP my heart goes out to you reading this. I don't really know what to say. Is there anyway you can get support with the children where abouts do you live if you don't mind me asking? Wondering if I could help out in anyway.

Is the 3 year old entitled to a childcare grant of 15 hours per week? That may help if you could enquire about that. Also can your HV help and advise you on coping strategies.

Parenthood Journey, I don't have a 3yr old, theyre, just turned 2 and just turned 1, then a 7yr old.
I have enquired about the cost of childcare but at £20 per half day session there is no way I can afford it.
its only 9am, and they've both been up 2 hours and im already in tears again, I don't know why they have to cry like they do, theyre clean, theyre fed, they have toys, they have room to play, but no, they want to scream, non stop, all day...........I am at the end of my tether :(

Is there a home start in your local area? They can offer practical and emotional support... Also local children's centres have very cheap/ free groups you could take the youngest two to when your 7 year old is at school. You may meet some friends here or just get a break while the children play. Your hv should be able to give you advice.

Would you qualify for 2 yo nursery funding?

OP, you sound very overwhelmed & I'm sorry you're struggling. I've got a 4 year-old. & 8 month old without any support too - it's really hard going.

I would go & speak to someone, as your GP suggested - I don't think you have anything to lose by going & perhaps it will help with coping strategies. Or if you go & don't find it helps you can go back to your GP & ask for further help.

Would your health visitor be able to point you in the direction of more support? Thinking there might be something locally where you could go?

It sounds really hard work, and doubly so in the aftermath of a bereavement.